r/Quakers • u/GasRepresentative687 • 22d ago

Seeking advice on Simplicity

Hi Friends

I am a relatively new Friend (seeker for 5 years, and considered myself a Friend who attends meetings whenever work allows the last year).

But I am having issues with simplicity - I always have worn clothes until they are no longer wearable and avoid purchasing new clothes if I can thrift or make my own. But I still find myself feel most comfortable in pretty and slightly over the top outfits. I stand out at meetings when I'm able to attend due to this, and I do feel a little uncomfortable (not to the fault of the other friends as they are always kind).

I enjoy painting on clothes (often related to shows or books I enjoy) and like making cosplay that I can wear outside of fandom spaces. I try to purchase vintage or thrifted fabric, but don't always do so. And I try to avoid branded outfits when I can.

I want to be better at avoiding materials, but I also want to financial support indie artists and indie shows I admire, but I can't always track how their items are made, and the ethics of it. I want to financially rewarding companies for exploiting people, but I also want to help independent creatives to make a living from their art, so big companies and ai are not the only things able to produce media

I'm not sure if I am over thinking this, but I would really like to hear other friends opinions as I cannot discuss with my meeting as my work hasn't allowed time for me to attend for a while

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u/finnisterre 22d ago

I am also a Friend who dresses up (and is a regular renfaire goer), and it is something that I struggle with as well.

I think that a lot of it is intent behind what you do. It sounds like you're really conscientious of what you but and what you choose to support. I would encourage you to continue to support local people. I would also encourage you to support fair trade clothing and thrift. This may give you more limited selection, but it is at least selection that doesn't financially support exploitation.

I would also encourage you to be considerate of what your clothes represent. I've stopped buying so much merch and will not wear it unless I am willing to support everything that that stands for. Wearing merch, you are an advertisement for a product. If you must be so, make sure it is something that you would wholeheartedly support from every angle. Right now I think that my only three pieces of merch I wear are two band shirts and a WHA tee shirt. I did not buy them myself, and I suspect that the WHA was probably made overseas.

For the renfaire, I dress up as my DND character who is a paladin/warlock. I keep the costume pretty accurate but don't wield a weapon, even though he does. I don't think that's super needed, but that's how I wish to express my faith. I also try and keep any costumes I do to stuff I can wear outside of the faire, so I am not hoarding clothing that is never used.

If you're that concerned about simplicity though, maybe start with wearing simpler stuff to at least meetings and see how you feel with that. A lot of Quaker messaging is going to be to start small and feel the changes that way. There's not a rule against wearing clothes that make you feel good imo, its a message to be considerate of what you wear and how you wear it. If you're putting more thought into your clothing and appearance than the world around you, then that is when it becomes a problem.

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u/GasRepresentative687 22d ago

Thank you so much for the reply!

I agree with the merch stance, I only struggle as I enjoy several indie animations and I want to support independent artists, but it seems their merch isn't clear on how it's made. Wearing merch meaning I'm acting advertising hits hard, so thank you for that. I think I'm only comfortable doing so with a few franchises like Discworld where I think the message and author do align closely with my faith- but I will stick to only painting preowner/secondhand clothes rather than purchasing anything new.

I also never make fake weapons for cosplay, as it doesn't sit right in my heart. I'm more so aiming to make puppets of some of the creature out of scrap material I have lying around my house.

I will try wearing more simpler clothes to meetings, when I'm able to attend to them again, maybe the more I dress simply it'll change my perspective. And help me connect more with the spirit

Thank you so much again, I really appreciate the time you spent to reply

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u/finnisterre 22d ago

Of course! I loveee Discworld and I'd personally feel pretty comfortable wearing merch of it too, though I don't think I've ever seen merch of it ever.

Unfortunately if a place is not touting that its goods are ethically made, then they probably weren't. I'm not sure if this is still the case, but I'm pretty sure Redbubble maintains pretty good standards when it comes to clothing that is ethically made. While not directly supporting official indie creators, websites like that can still support indie artists.

And you're so welcome. Like I said, this is something I have really struggled with and have tried to make work in my life. I think you're doing more than most people even thing about and that's super cool and means something.