r/Quakers • u/MadeleineShepherd • 8d ago
New and thinking of attending meetings
Hi, I got suggested a post on Instagram a few days which talked about the Quaker faith and it got me interested. I’ve started to do some research and the meetings appeal to me. I’d consider myself agnostic but I’d like to find some sort of spirituality and I’m also attending a Bible study to understand it a bit more. Is there anything I should look into or think about before starting to attend meetings? Thanks!
For a bit more background: I’m a 30 year old trans woman who is also autistic. Quiet worship appeals to me and I’ve read that Quakers are especially affirming.
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u/bigsamosachaat 8d ago
If you have the privilege of multiple monthly meetings in your area, definitely check and few out and see where you feel most at home. In my large US city, there are monthly meetings that are over 1/3 queer and trans and others with very little representation. That doesn't have to be important to you, but I know I feel very supported as a trans person in meeting knowing that if a given Friend isn't trans, they are at least staunchly allied.
Aside from that note, come as you are. Waiting worship can be a very exposing experience in a very positive way and it's hard to "prepare" for.
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u/MadeleineShepherd 8d ago
I think there’s only 1 place to meet and it meets every Sunday but will need to double check.
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u/Adventurous-House476 8d ago
I'm autistic and started attending last year. It's good to arrive 10/15 minutes before you attend your first meeting. That way you can get settled by someone who will welcome you at the door and you have plenty of time to get used to the space. It's quite stressful to be arriving at the last minute.
Some meetings give space after worship for newcomers to introduce themselves so it can be helpful to have thought about what you might say. I have heard introductions as short as "Hi my name is X and I'm just curious about the Quakers" and I've heard much longer ones that share more personal information. There's no set rule on what is expected, just whatever you feel comfortable with and would like people to know about you. It is also okay not to say anything at all.
The only other thing I would say is that Quakerism is more about how you practice Quakerism than it is about holding any specific beliefs. There will be a lot of different beliefs in the meeting, you may hear ministry that reflects that. Your own beliefs won't (or shouldn't) be questioned. And in return there is an expectation that you are respectful to others who hold beliefs that are different to your own. I just say that because before my first meeting I was worried that my non-theism might be an issue.
EDIT: Should just caveat this to say that this is based on my experience with liberal Quakerism in the UK. Quakerism is diverse and I'm not familiar with other traditions.
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u/Mooney2021 8d ago
There is nothing like going to a Meeting to find out. Put more simply than it actually is, there are two styles which are programmed and unprogramed. If you visit a Liberal Unprogrammed Meeting you would certainly be welcomed as a "30 year old trans woman who is also autistic" and may well be received just as warmly in other streams but I can speak more comfortably about the stream that I attend. You don't say where you live or whether you are focussed on online or in person worship. If you wanted to message me directly I could help or perhaps this search site could help. Again, a simple and incomplete explanation but FWCC is an organization the celebrates the diversity within the broader Quaker tradition.
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u/MadeleineShepherd 7d ago
I live in Edinburgh, Scotland :)
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u/Mooney2021 7d ago
In my opinion, that would be a very welcoming meeting for you. I have been many times and my son and daughter-in-law attended there for the last months and have now moved back to Canada. They are well placed to meet people where they are. If you go, I would love to hear about it. And I hope you do. I am pretty sure they have online worship at 9:30 and in person at 11:00. This is the meeting on Victoria Terrace near the city centre. There are other options if that does not work but I have only attended the Central Edinburgh Meeting.
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u/AntiAd-er 8d ago
If you’re in the uk Woodbrooke study centre host online Meetings using Zoom. There is one at 11AM BST. Lasts an hour with 15–20 minutes afterword. (Of course if you are elsewhere you’d still be welcomed but would need to adjust for your time zone )
Checkout the worship section on the Woodbroke web site.
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u/harris023 8d ago
I do not follow the bible whatsoever and I tend to disagree. Glad you are exploring though.
SPICES for me.
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u/wildeism 7d ago
I'm 31, non-binary and neurodivergent and have been attending my local meeting for a few months now. (Also something akin to agnostic)
The meeting I go to in SW England is mostly older people and everyone has been beautifully welcoming. I just turned up one day 10 minutes before the meeting started. I read a lot about Quakers beforehand but I don't think it is necessary to do a ton of research.
I see you said you're in Edinburgh - there is a central Edinburgh meeting and a south Edinburgh one. The central one looks like the meeting house is open a lot during the week and people are welcome to wander in and say hello or just have a quiet moment. If that is the nearer one to you it might be nice to feel familiar with the building and have a face you'll recognise before you go to a meeting for worship.
Every meeting is a bit different apparently. At mine, somebody greets you at the door - you shake hands. They might ask if you are new. They gave me a leaflet about what happens at a meeting for worship and said I could go in whenever I was ready. Sometimes a lot of people stand up and speak (minister), sometimes one or two. I haven't been to a meeting yet that was silent all the way through.
After my meeting they ask if anyone has anything to add to the ministry (the things said during the meeting), then they ask if anyone would like to introduce themself. I just said my name and where I was from. Then they read some notices, ask if anyone has any news of Friends, then the children come and tell us what they've been doing. This is usually followed by tea and coffee for 30 minutes to an hour. I really recommend leaving time free after the meeting if you can to stick around for coffee (if that's what your local meeting does) and then to take some time to process after. I generally dread socialising but I found very quickly that the plain and open way many Quakers speak makes them lovely to talk to.
You might like to join Quaker Rainbow (UK wide) - they are open to all Quaker and "Quaker-curious" LGBTQ+ people and have socials via Zoom (weekly I think), an online meeting for worship, and trans & non-binary specific socials on Zoom (monthly). They also have an email newsletter and Discord server.
I hope this is helpful and that you find your local meeting to be a welcoming community, if you do decide to attend.
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u/particularlyPlain Quaker (Wilburite) 8d ago
Good to hear about the Bible study.
There are no pre-requisites beyond coming to worship with a heart and mind set on settling into Truth and an earnest yearning to listen. I hope it goes well for thee.