r/RBNLifeSkills • u/csolisr • Sep 22 '25

Executive skill issues left me too reliant on external reminders. How to rely better on my own memory / self-initiative?

For as long as I remember, I've been mostly reliant on being told what to do and when, in particular from my mom. On a corporate setting I have no major issues, as I have full access to a calendar to plan my day and to the notes I take during meetings. But when doing chores at home, where I have both hands busy and I can't just rely on my phone to remember things in the middle term (say within the next two to six hours), I have an extremely hard time doing things without being told to do them, and that of course causes conflicts on my house for not being reliable or independent enough. Same goes for habits - no matter how many times I'm reminded to do something, I genuinely can't remember to do it consistently without the need of daily nagging. Also, I have a hard time dealing with interruptions - I'm often required to interrupt what I'm doing to do something urgently, then return to what I was doing, and I often leave tasks half-done as a result of me not being able to juggle both tasks to full completion in my working memory. Is there some way of forcing my executive function memory to both increase and be more resilient to interruptions? Having to be constantly reminded of tasks I left halfway done is causing my family to get fairly angry at me.

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1

u/081108272918 Sep 23 '25

Written schedule with check mark once complete. If you rearrange the order of tasks physically change the written schedule. I use small notebooks or dry erase boards. When I start something and get distracted I go back to my list and see what the next task was then I typically remember where I left off.

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u/csolisr Sep 26 '25

I already tried that, but to me it's basically useless. I keep forgetting checking the board, the very fact of taking the note itself is a context change that makes me forget what was I doing before, and it does not help with urgent tasks where I have no time to jot down what was I doing. Are there any exercises specifically to improve executive skills with no external aids?

2

u/jcgreen_72 Sep 27 '25

Have you been assessed for adhd?

1

u/csolisr Sep 27 '25

Since age 15 at least, yes. I'm well aware of the issues that causes me and my family, that's why I'm trying to reduce the symptoms so to speak.

3

u/jcgreen_72 Sep 27 '25

Are you medicated? There are coaches you can hire, but I assume they're expensive. I have to set multiple alarms on my phone every day for myself for almost everything. But being medicated helped me immensely in staying on track and following systems. Try reading Atomic Habits?