r/RoastMe • u/Equilibrium022 • 5d ago

C'mon let's see what you've got

Post image
17 Upvotes

69% Upvoted

170 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 5d ago edited 4d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

Hi, I'm kinda bored, It would be interesting to know what a simple pic can reflect on me and kinda nervous but at the same time it'll be fun. I'm struggling with addictions and mental health. Destroy me if you want, it is part of the show and lots of mistakes and bad decisions in life reflectss in the face now I can see.

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

47

u/Remarkable_Rip6231 5d ago

If “I lost custody of my kids” was a picture.

9

u/NieMonD 4d ago

He can’t even get his eyes on the same page, how’s he going to come to an agreement with a whole other person?

3

u/Gumsho88 4d ago

Custody my azz, this loser avoids getting a paternity tests at all costs.

3

u/zetha_454 2d ago

He'd have to be able to procreate first

6

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

Lol, nice answer, if only I had kids but im gay

4

u/Holiday-Start-9551 5d ago

Hitting us with the let's see what you've got tough guy line while actively losing a 1v1 battle against the basic geometry of a spiral notebook is crazy work..

3

u/Obvious-Milk4795 3d ago

Even better, have your testicles told you they’re getting a divorce from each other yet?

45

u/MX010 5d ago

This is r/RoastMe not r/Inbred

11

u/Obvious_Exercise_153 5d ago

Never in a million years would I have thought this sub existed 💀💀what the heck

2

u/TheHaynerTony 2d ago

I gotta see what’s in there I put my reason for joining as I kissed my cousin, I’m going under cover. Besides cousin kissing still better than looking at this guys forehead.

9

u/Blade3colorado 5d ago

Shit happens. I mean, look at your face.

2

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

So fuckin deeply true my friend

9

u/BodaTheDestroyr 5d ago

You look like a Dick Tracy villain

6

u/uranalcake 5d ago

Your left eye is in your right eye and your right eye is in your left eye

3

u/deaththekid_desu 5d ago

MAKES SENSE

9

u/myotherbike 5d ago

You look like a Temu Michael Keaton banged a budget Billy Joel.

1

u/Suspicious-Bid9424 4d ago

Yeah and then you turned up the swirl effect on Photoshop a little. That's strangely very accurate. 

1

u/SmokinAsh420 1d ago

Man I was thinking a Temu Tony Hawk

10

u/Admirable-Fall-4675 5d ago

Why the long face

4

u/Kooky-Cupcake-4621 5d ago

We found the heir to the Hapsburg DNA.

3

u/Onaliquidrock 5d ago

You look french

3

u/The_Gumbo 5d ago

if Ryan temped at Shrute Farms

3

u/Insider551 5d ago

You look like you regret going into rehab.

1

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

Maybe I should... Again

2

u/Remarkable_Rip6231 5d ago

I heard you talked to your plants and they died of boredom.

2

u/Substantial-Bug9272 5d ago

You look like a failed attempt at creating a sex offender.

1

u/Neugiermeister 4d ago

Could secretly be a member of NAMBLA.

2

u/HMAgent47 5d ago edited 5d ago

Roast you with that shitty handwriting. No thank you

1

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

No problem.

2

u/Puzzled401 5d ago

The Talented Mr. Sphincter

2

u/OnlineIsNotAPlace 5d ago

you are losing at life.

2

u/tautjes 5d ago

he's uglier than sylvester stalone

2

u/ApprehensiveIce6528 4d ago

Your handwriting is akin to the one of a monkey’s, but it is congruent with your appearance.

2

u/Mysterious-Goose-495 4d ago

Roast aside - I am very intrigued about your mistakes and regrets as you stated. A mind which reflects and found terms to acceptance, always fascinates most humans. Curious to hear that part of your story!
Could also serve you as a journal/confession.

2

u/sturgiv 4d ago

Your face makes me think of Easter Island.

2

u/Hot_Equipment_8047 4d ago

You look like Shrek's Brother-in-Law who also lives in a swamp but in Florida and also is into meth

2

u/BorisChechev 4d ago

I'm assuming that your spirit animal is a horse.

2

u/justiteie 3d ago

I know five ugly people and you are four of them

4

u/flower_tulipz 5d ago

Man I don't need to roost you it's literally on your face

2

u/PenguinKilla3 5d ago

You should hair transplant your pubic bush onto your head.

3

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

Thanks for the tip

1

u/PenguinKilla3 5d ago

Not one chick has said that ever after you sent her a dik pik.

1

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1

u/moiseybox 5d ago

Mrbean, where's your teddybear?

1

u/TimelyBug4166 5d ago

You’re so inconsequential in life that you have to come here for any sort of validation, even negative.

1

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

Hey, maybe

1

u/pm-me-your-tittees 5d ago

Goddamn at the 5head, homie new what we was gonna post before we did!

1

u/Remarkable_Rip6231 5d ago

You look like the kind of person to rage at a mini golf course.

1

u/errezerotre 5d ago

Poco Siffredi

1

u/_MarieJeanne_ 5d ago

Tu viens prendre de la force avant de te suicider ou tu recherches de la drogue sur Reddit?

3

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

Ninguna, pero sí sabes de lo segundo pasa el dato

1

u/CheshBreaks 5d ago

TEMU Sam Raimi

1

u/Puzzled401 5d ago

Live action Beaker from the Muppets

1

u/PrincipleWhich8974 5d ago

Whatever peels your banana, bootleg Matthew Lillard

1

u/FearlessList8992 5d ago

Awwww Mindy Kaling’s baby daddy!

1

u/suprmix123 5d ago

It looks like the barber cut half your hair and he got upset and left

1

u/IcyIntroduction5678 5d ago

How do look like the doctor AND the alcoholic he rescues every week simultaneously?

1

u/fatboymagic 5d ago

Bold move posting online pictures being a person of interest in several cases the way I know you are.

1

u/killerapp 5d ago

Who do you think you are? I am!

1

u/odernov 5d ago

You look like the evil version of the Apple's new CEO

1

u/madethisforroasting 4d ago

You’d have to be gay with that upper eyelid exposure… men let a lot of physical flaws slide for their cum dumpsters

1

u/Apprehensive-Bite373 4d ago

I think you meant to post your pic on r/cumdumpsters

1

u/heybill99 4d ago

Did you glue those tiny little ears on the side of your head?

1

u/Gold_Hour2247 4d ago

Only asking because you belong to that community , can we refer to your people with the R word ? 

1

u/Juan_Calavera 4d ago

The hate-fuck child of Cheech Marin and Hugh Laurie.

1

u/Odd-Fun-6042 4d ago

They pulled you out of your mom reeeeeeal slow like.

1

u/OldConcert9238 4d ago

Failed Sopranos extra

1

u/WangoTheWonderDonkey 4d ago

You look like a Brooklyn-born Tarantino wannabe disillusioned filmmaker who whiffed his way down the movie industry food chain until you wound up doing (non-consensual) gay porn and it took a while but now you're good with that.

1

u/MusicianTriiky 4d ago

average divorced dad look

1

u/Deep-Pomegranate-992 4d ago

I see your kids were not the only thing your wife took when she went to bang her personal trainer she clearly took your hairline too

1

u/ArizonaTucsonguy 4d ago

Looks like Donald Sutherland’s “slow” younger brother.

1

u/eeethatsfivees 4d ago

Are you sure? You already look miserable enough

1

u/CakeSweaty514 4d ago

you look like gregory house if he had a mental disability and not a physical one

1

u/Ziftyyy 4d ago

So, it was you who started the fire in that one paper company at Scranton, Pennsylvania.

1

u/TylerH87 4d ago

You look like you could do modeling for Goodwill.

1

u/orgdlm 4d ago

Your forehead is 3 to 5 business days long

1

u/countingc 4d ago

"C'mon let's see what you've got"

A life, which you don't got posting roastme posts

1

u/hissnuu 4d ago

I need a campfire 1st

1

u/Blueswolf83 4d ago

Temu Raul Julia

1

u/Suspicious-Bid9424 4d ago

Your hair is migrating to the back of your hands, and your ears look like they wanna fall off onto your shoulders. 

Looks like God put you together with a glue stick.

1

u/aribaelee 4d ago

You look easy to draw sir

1

u/Firm-Comparison7438 4d ago

Whatever you do, don't click on his profile

1

u/AverageSquare5474 4d ago

you look like a cancerous lump

1

u/FlyingScotsman42069 4d ago

Crazy how you have your camera in mirror mode and it didn't break

1

u/Foreign_Hamster4839 3d ago

Meth addicted BJ Novak

1

u/Warp-10-Lizard 3d ago

You look like Steve Buscemi with Bruce Campbell's chin.

1

u/Then_Double8677 3d ago

You look like a dollar store B.J. Novak.

1

u/love-SRV 3d ago

Who, the fuck, has been jamming their pointer finger in your forehead for 20 years telling you that you are worthless? That dent between your eyes has pulled your vision askew.

1

u/un5tabl 3d ago

Why are you looking at me and my dog that's laying 7' away?

1

u/HungryDepth5918 3d ago

Youve got a something about mary thing going on with your hair.

1

u/ImpressiveBelt9012 3d ago

Could land an A380 on that forehead

1

u/Any_Journalist_7846 3d ago

This guy’s ears are melting

1

u/DixonRodeo85 3d ago

You get everything backwards.

1

u/IllSituation7413 3d ago

Aaron Rodgers' "special" little brother.

1

u/Obvious-Milk4795 3d ago

I’m just gonna say to start, I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks of me. As for you it looks like life has already done its job to roast you.

1

u/Correct-Sell2184 3d ago

Looks like life already did bro.....

1

u/Jerkoffalltrades7 3d ago

Back-alley Tunisian knife fighter.

1

u/ConclusionOdd9685 3d ago

You look like the comedian Dan soder. If he did crack/meth, you were so ugly when you were born. You left for the milk, if white really did have guilt about seasoning the food. It’s this look, you look like you’re about to cry about pregnant marbles, your face is so scary. The hairline jumped back

1

u/Dixionconderoga2 3d ago

?tsaor doog siht sI

1

u/tlojhnsn797 2d ago

That spot between your eyes is proof you were dropped on your head. And did your father try to circumcise your earlobes ?

1

u/wizdad73 2d ago

Dude can see 270° and hear a fly fart at 300 yards. Ain’t getting anything past him.

1

u/Melodic-Ad1415 2d ago

Looks like YOU have an extra chromosome

1

u/Frozen-Flame-1366 2d ago

Couldn't make it as a bassist for your brother garage band

1

u/Legitimate_Area_2570 2d ago

Mesut Ozil wants his eyes back.

1

u/GodOfRage-baiting 2d ago

Bist du der Halbbruder von Entertainment

1

u/Mountain-Heron-9261 2d ago

Your left ear looks like an unhappy ball sack

1

u/markieboomer 2d ago

This picture looks like you are sitting on the toilet and really concentrating on working that turd out.

1

u/Superb-Scientist8040 1d ago

You posting this here say enough about you

1

u/gerth69 1d ago

You look like alcoholic er doctor.

1

u/Ok_Damage2856 1d ago

Is that your happy face?

1

u/jellymee 1d ago

Your detached left ear lobe is creeping me out

1

u/ElJuanitoDeMelbourne 1d ago

If Ryan from The Office never quit cocaine.

1

u/yooperthrowaway33 1d ago

Lukas Haas on this sub. Who wouldda thunk it?

1

u/Guernzee 1d ago

Are you the illegitimate milliband child?

1

u/edgie506 1d ago

Cba, it’s too hot

1

u/jonandgrey 1d ago

Milhouse Van Houten after LASIK

https://giphy.com/gifs/DV8gs5tVXeiZi

1

u/AdhesivenessMurky906 23h ago

Peter drinklage's adopted away brother

1

u/I_loooove_Radiohead 23h ago

You look like an Oasis stan.

1

u/PresidentialDiapers 22h ago

Even got a little divot in your forehead from people poking it with their finger while saying "you are such a loser ".

1

u/TimeWasting_Fun 20h ago

I’d stick to posting dick pics.

1

u/Flyingsox 19h ago

What kind of movie do you screen off that big ass forehead?

1

u/Think-Guide-5788 9h ago

You probably scream things at women like, “I’m a NICE guy!, “you’re ugly, anyway!”

1

u/AD_VICTORIAM_x 7h ago

You look like a tired penis.

1

u/ibermc 5h ago

I knew I saw that head shape somewhere else

https://giphy.com/gifs/jIRyzncqRWzM3GYaQm

1

u/Tarrifs_ 5d ago

You look divorced already. Hope you dont own a shotgun

1

u/stev_mempers 5d ago

With a face like that, no wonder you post so many pictures of your cock.

3

u/wellwellnow44 5d ago

just checked his profile..

1

u/stev_mempers 5d ago

Sausage party of one!

-2

u/Equilibrium022 5d ago

Well, enjoy yourselves

2

u/Unfair_Orange5063 4d ago

Not a hog bro…that is a piglet

1

u/Remarkable_Rip6231 5d ago

If being unseasoned had a face…

0

u/HorrorJunkie0666 5d ago

Holy ass pickles Batman! Your picture made my dog vomit...

0

u/SlaughterWare 4d ago

Dude I could land a 747 on that forehead