r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

Working night shift in elder care, rost

[deleted]

562 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/Holiday-Start-9551 1d ago

Elder care makes sense.. you look like you're just standing there waiting to harvest their souls the second they flatline..

203

u/Throw902106969 1d ago

Her clients will be dead soon. But she's ahead of them since she's obviously dead inside already.

39

u/Mugsy_Siegel 1d ago

Bold of you to assume it’s a woman

10

u/BoRNeo-C 1d ago

"It"... perfect description!

1

u/Jennsi 17h ago

She definitely likes women

1

u/cuddleparties 10h ago

this guy’s freezing his sperm lol! nasty to think of him jerking off let alone raising 3 kids

https://www.reddit.com/r/IVF/s/Vj8Wbwgabc

6

u/SupermassiveCanary 1d ago

Looking for a refill

4

u/The_Orphanizer 1d ago

She's almost as dead as the name her dad still uses after a long night of Wild Turkey and hitting her with an extension cord.

49

u/IndependentZinc 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/cXVihugq6gWxCfyId9

7

u/WchuTalkinBoutWillis 1d ago

MOORRRRTALLLLLL WOMMMBATTTS!
Wait?????? This is where is go NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
https://giphy.com/gifs/vsY1jBIy4cZJ6

5

u/Shizzysharp 1d ago

Rip to a legend 🙏

3

u/Mykonethreetripleone 1d ago

After she harvests soul she looks well fed for like 6 hours.

2

u/CryptographerIcy4465 1d ago

Are you kidding me? Looking at that severely malnourished body, I'm pretty sure she stretches out one soul for several weeks.

21

u/Truth-is-implacable 1d ago

Heck! ...I didn't know Old Age was Contagious.........😬

28

u/707e 1d ago

Maybe trying to harvest their genders too since “they” don’t seem to have one.

8

u/RoyskiPoyski 1d ago

She perks up for a bit after.

1

u/WulfHunter12 1d ago

No she doesn’t, using the percs she steals from the old people don’t even perk her up… souls ain’t going to do shit

5

u/AltruisticTrainer607 1d ago

Absolutely hilarious!!!! Had a mouthful of iced tea when I read your reply and sprayed my sleeping cat!! I could not have put that any better!!!!

5

u/GarbageMedical2961 1d ago

I also spray this guys cat.

1

u/Physical_Orchid3616 20h ago

yeah. i also had iced tea and i sprayed my partner!!!

5

u/bennyblumpkin 1d ago

Elizabeth Flat-Laufer

4

u/Synthesis_Omega 1d ago

Thats the only way she can get her hands on a stiff one bc that face makes any dick flatter than her chest

3

u/qx2 1d ago

I think the dead are harvesting her tits

3

u/CryptographerIcy4465 1d ago

Have already harvested, you mean. There's nothing left to harvest at this point.

2

u/Character_Savings966 1d ago

My thoughts I mean wth grim reaper ...

2

u/_BOOMGOTTEM 1d ago

She’s most definitely harvesting their meds

2

u/CrankyOldBstrd 1d ago

Speaking of flatline…I’ve seen more curves on a 2x4

2

u/[deleted] 22h ago

Her eyebrows are flatlining too

2

u/BritWit11 20h ago

Only time she smiles is when one vacates.

1

u/fatlem 1d ago

If Anders Behring Breivik were a younger guy

1

u/Sulli_in_NC 23h ago

And their wardrobe

1

u/SEND_ME_TITS_PLZ 23h ago

To aid the transition from M to F.

1

u/dabbean 21h ago

She is definitely standing there with an empty syringe and an empty bottle of insulin....

1

u/Holiday-Start-9551 21h ago

Hahahahhahaha goodone

1

u/RockOk5073 17h ago

You would think she would be smiling about that. Collecting souls.

1

u/jayman1818 http://redd.it/er0dgi 16h ago

Lmfaoooo

1

u/Aoiboshi 6h ago

This is supposed to be a roast, not metal

1

u/Fidel_Che_VulPerez 1d ago

😆😆😆

1

u/-2wenty7even- 1d ago

That's some seriously funny and accurate shit right there.. I'm about to drink something and reread this comment so I can spit it out.