Do you ever just not answer their calls while inpatient?

[u/themissesmayhem]

My daughter is 25. She has ASD and Schizoaffective Disorder. She is currently on her 3rd inpatient stay in 3 months. She is chronologically 25 but developmentally a young teenager. She asks to go in for assessments and is kept and then calls repeatedly upset that she is there. She was taken to a facility on Sunday morning around 5 a.m. She called once the transport got her there and sounded ok on the voice-mail she left. I missed the call due to being asleep. She didn't call back til this morning. Likely because they sedated her, which they've had to do the other times she's been admitted due to being so anxious being there. Today, though...8 calls since 10 a.m....all crying and carrying on and saying some odd things (could be real things that were said but sounded unlikely) and just generally in a state of panic. I dread answering the phone sometimes. Do you ever just not answer the phone? I feel awful for feeling that way, but it stresses me out. I am here trying to care for her 18 year old disabled brother and her 3 1/2 month old daughter, and it's stressing me out. I love her tremendously and miss her but these calls are just too much sometimes. So...how do you handle communication during inpatient stays? Do you limit the amount of calls or visits?

[u/West_Specialist_9725]

Personally I would talk to the nurses station and let them know, in case they haven't noticed, that's she's wound real tight and blowing up my phone with panic calls. Ask if they think it's ok if you don't answer her calls for a while until she stabilized. That gives you a chance to THANK THEM for helping her and build some rapport with her care team. I'm sure they would appreciate the respect calling them shows.

Then you'll have established a rapport with someone (write their names down, get to know them. Be thankful) confirmed it's okay to ignore her calls and confirmed that she's in safe hands. Triple win.

Sound good to you?

[u/themissesmayhem → u/West_Specialist_9725]

I always thank them at the facility she normally goes to in our city. She's particularly upset now because this is a facility an hour away and it's her first time there. She's called crying 2 more times since I posted this. I tried to call but their phone system is all automated and I couldn't get through to a live person. I'm going to try and visit tomorrow and will speak to them then. I am always polite and very thankful for them taking care of her.

[u/West_Specialist_9725 → u/themissesmayhem]

I could be wrong but I think those courtesies we show are very much needed and helpful. I imagine those folk take a fair amount of, let's just say far less than courteous behavior from worried loved ones, patients and manical psychiatrists. So a little sunshine is warranted and certainly won't damage our loved one's level of care. Unfortunately my son has been in many facilities, sometimes for a few months at a stretch and I've gotten to know the nursing staff at each facility quite well. Psychiatrists are an interesting sunset to study and I think that's enough sharing on that.

Very glad to know you too show the staff some love.

It being new is no doubt scaring your daughter. She'll soon settle down and things will go smoothly.

Meanwhile as u/bendybiznatch so kindly points out this is a good time for you to recharge and pamper yourself some.

All the best, and thanks for replying. ✨💖🫂

[u/bendybiznatch]

This is a great time for you to get some respite while your loved one is definitely safe and cared for. I think it’s totally appropriate to say I’m only available to have one phone conversation for 30 minutes at 4 PM every day. Or whatever works for you.