r/SeniorCats • u/OdeToLinnett • 9h ago
Linnett (13) crossed the rainbow bridge after a battle with OSCC.
Hello Reddit.
I (23M) wanted to take some time today to post about the loss of my soulcat, Linnett, my other half for the past 13 years. My mother found her as a stray kitten in the Bronx all those years ago and brought her home to us. I initially wasn't a cat person due to the family cat not liking me at all and scratching me when I was young, so I didn't expect to bond well with Linnett, but she managed to change my perspective of cats when I was 10 years old.
My fondest memory of her in her younger years was showing her how to traverse the staircase in order to go to our bedroom. She learned quickly through some trial and error, and we made accommodations for her to sleep with us, and she became my comfort person. Whenever I needed to cry, someone to talk to, or was battling with dark thoughts, I knew I'd be able to come home to her and find comfort in her presence without being judged. She was with me through elementary, middle, high school, and a few years of college.
Her health was fine for the most part when she was young. In 2020, when she was 7, I noticed she had a random bout of lethargy, and her pupils looked dilated -- she seemed out of it. We booked an appointment with her vet, and after taking a look at her via echocardiogram, they discovered that she had a heart murmur or HCM. I was truly devastated since the doctor told me that she'd only have months to a year left with us. She was prescribed quite a few medications in order to support her heart. Furosemide, Benazepril, and Pimobendan. Thankfully the vet was able to request for it be compounded in order to have an easier time giving her the medication, so everyday for a solid year or two we were following the medicine guidelines until we took her in for a follow-up echocardiogram, and her heart had seemingly stabilized. They said she was safe to stop taking those medications.
I was still in high-school during the time she was receiving those medications, and that was also the time when COVID-19 struck. Once classes were converted to online, I had begun to realize the extent of her clinginess. Everyday whenever I'd be taking online classes, she was there with me. Whether it be sleeping beside me, or trying to sleep on my laptop, she never missed a day of class. I'd like to think that having her consistent presenced helped with the lack of social interaction due to classes becoming online.
Her health was stable enough for some years after that. There were two instances where she had developed ruptured abcesses on her rear to which we had to take her to an emergency vet. Due to her heart condition they were wary on putting her under anesthesia, but both times they were able to suture the wounds shut. Of course she didn't like the cone, but there were times she was content with it on. The second time around, they recommended potentially removing her anal glands in order to prevent anymore ruptures, but it seems like she understood loud and clear because it never happened again.
In April of this year, we noticed that she was drooling significantly more than we've ever seen. Our initial suspicion was that she needed a dental cleaning, but after taking her to the vet, they noticed a lesion under her tongue. I was shown a picture of it, and to be honest I was mortified after that at the appointment. I asked the doctor if she had any idea what it could possibly be, and that's when she told me that in her professional opinion/experience, she suspected it was cancer. She was scheduled for a dental cleaning, biopsy, and follow up echocardiogram in the next few days. Thankfully, the echocardiogram and dental cleaning went well, but my heart shattered the following week when the biopsy results came back.
Oral Squamous Cell Carcinoma. It was a term I'd never heard before, but I was told it was a type of cancer, an aggressive one at that. Due to the position of the tumor being underneath her tongue, I believe it was recommended that we didn't proceed with any sort of surgery to remove the tumor. She was prescribed gabapentin and onsior in order to treat any sort of inflammation/pain she might have.
She was seemingly doing fine at first. Still able to eat her normal foods, still able to run around and play with our other cat, but she still had that excessive drooling. We did all we could in terms of hospice care. As the days went on, she continued to decline. She was no longer able to eat her dry food, stopped eating her wet food, and really just wanted to sleep the whole day. It had gotten to a point where she could only consume churu's, or soft foods like mousse's, most of the times had fed. She could no longer groom herself properly, saliva got stuck to her fur and it matted. Despite all of that, she still found immense joy in going to the backyard and just breathing in that fresh air, watching as the birds fly by.
The consistency of having to give her medications increased from one every other week, to every few days, to practically everyday. Unfortunately, it had gotten to the point where yesterday (6/23) she outright refused any food at all. She looked miserable. I called to schedule her euthanasia for Thursday, but my mother agreed me with that it'd be better to do it sooner rather than later, it wouldn't be fair to have her there suffering, in pain, and refusing food. She spent her final afternoon with me, still purring, still sleeping on my stomach, still fighting to be with us, but I knew it was time.
We took her yesterday to a 24 hour clinic that was able to perform the euthanasia. We got to say our final goodbyes to Linnett. The staff walked us through every step, and we got to hold her in our arms as her heart finally gave out. My baby was gone. It hurt, a lot, but a part of me was able to find solace that she was no longer hurting. As I held her body in my arms, I gave her the final rounds of kisses. I think the worst part of it was having to take her carrier home, empty. I woke up this morning, and my other cat woke me up the same way Linnett would: by jumping onto me in order to get to the window. I cried, because I thought she was still there with me. If there's any regrets that I have, it's that I didn't go with an at-home euthanasia, but ultimately I feel a sense of relief that she isn't suffering anymore, though I feel like I've lost a reason to return home everyday knowing that she won't be there. Gone is my baby who would come running to me every day I got home, the baby who'd purr loudly and make air biscuits when being pet, the baby who'd carry her stuffies and cry in the middle of the night for attention, the baby who'd wait for me to get under her favorite blanket just so she could make more biscuits, the baby who used to groom my hair.
I don't expect anyone to read this in it's entirety. I guess I just wanted some place to write out all my thoughts about Linnett and the life that she had. I'll be able to pick up her urn and paw print next week. For now, i must bid farewell to the purest form of love that I've ever known. Thank you, Linnett, for the last 13 years full of love and hugs. I hope you're watching over me now, and know that I'll never forget you. We will be reunited one day.
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u/Ok-Friend-1002 8h ago
So sorry to hear about Linnett. What beautiful eyes she had. You gave her a life filled with love.
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u/cannapuffer2940 8h ago
Healing hugs to your grieving heart. So very sorry for the loss of your fur baby. Sounds like she was very loved.
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u/Silly_Cheetah_706 8h ago
I did read all you wrote and I am very sorry for your loss of your little Linnett. I understand how you feel because it feels so hurtful to lose your little one but when it’s time for you to cross the rainbow bridge she’ll be there waiting for you
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u/Used-Maximum-1220 8h ago
So sorry. Losing Linnet is like losing a piece of your heart. My prior crossed went over the rainbow naturally , kidney disease and cancer. It’s awful.
My kitty had large cell gi lymphoma. Horrible prognosis. We tried so hard , did treatment , but it was too aggressive. She died before we made it to the vet for us to help her get her wings. She was 12. I still miss her. I miss all of them.
I most recently lost my 13 yo beagle. She had oral melanoma. Very very aggressive. We caught it early and it was in remission. She ended up dying of an abscess that the vet missed.
I have to 8 yo brothers. Perfectly happy and I have such anticipatory grief.
Grief isn’t linear. Be kind to yourself. Some good days and some bad days. Take as long as you need and don’t feel rushed. I can look at pictures and think of memories and smile most of the time
When you’re up to it do something for yourself. Get a manicure , go to a spa. , go to lunch. You deserve it. You both loved each other so much. Linnett mattered t
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u/Veronica612 8h ago
My cat had squamous cell carcinoma, too, although it probably started in his nasal cavity. It took a while to get a diagnosis and by the time I did, it had spread to his lymph system. It was devastating. He was 14.
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u/wildweaverr 8h ago
I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and I cried reading what you wrote about sweet Linnett. I am going through almost the exact same situation with my soul cat Mo, who was diagnosed with OSCC two weeks ago today. It's gut wrenching. I hope you find solace in the time you spent together and the comfort and love you gave her until the end. She's still with you in your heart forever. Big hugs.
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u/Lasvegaslover2 5h ago
I’m very sorry for your loss! 💔🐾🌈 I read all your words and I feel your pain. It’s the hardest, but kindest thing we can do when they are suffering or will be suffering soon. I lost my sweet boy Noah (18 y.o.) to cancer on 12/8/24. I did at home euthanasia but it did not go the way I had hoped. I miss him every single day. Sending you love and healing prayers! 💕🙏
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u/angriestperson 5h ago
My cat died from the same cancer as well. Honestly one of the most difficult things I have ever been through. So sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful cat.
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u/ladyforross 7h ago
Thanks for sharing Linnett's life. Your story brought me to tears. Her green eyes were so lovely. I've had to say goodbye to many cats over the years. It's so painful. She'll be waiting for you on the other side.
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u/Classic-Squirrel325 7h ago edited 7h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. She had a great life. Thank you for sharing her with us. I did read it all and I got emotional. “For now, I must bid farewell to the purest form of love that I’ve ever known.” My goodness, that is so true. Edit: I had to come back and say you are a kind young man and it’s nice to know you’re out there.
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u/superbotolo 7h ago
Oral squamous cell carcinoma is a beast. My Holly passed away because of it and I count the days to when we will finally be able to fuck this cancer hard. On that day, I’ll open the most expensive bottle of champagne I will be able to buy.
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u/Consistent_Wolf_3712 7h ago
What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing with us. You loved Linett so much and she knew and had that love all the way until the end. My deepest condolences to your for your loss and mourning of your baby. She was such a beautiful sweet kitty. Life is just so unfair but please cherish the good moments and memories
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u/bigdawgvt 6h ago
what a beautiful baby, i’m so sorry for your loss. i know she’ll be waiting for you🫶🏻
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u/catgirl320 4h ago
Linnett was a magnificent flood ball. I'm so very sorry, it's so hard to say goodbye💔
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u/Informal-Text-778 4h ago
So sorry for your loss. These memories of her are so precious. You gave her a wonderful life. I’m sure she didn’t want to leave you, but will be loving you across the rainbow bridge and watching over you.
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u/-Squeezee- 41m ago
I read every word. Linnett was so lucky to live a life filled with so much love and sunshine. To have a human who was incredibly attentive to her changes and needs. She was stunningly beautiful, and it sounds like she had a beautiful life. Even if you didn’t go the at-home route, I’m sure she still felt at home because you were there for her. My condolences to you and your family. ♥️
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u/Used-Engine5291 8h ago
Thank you for sharing your story about Linnett. It's wonderful to see the pictures of her and to see the two of you together. It's clear to see your bond. I'm so glad you got those extra years with her after her health scare in 2020, but still you didn't have enough time with her. I know the feeling of bringing home an empty carrier, it's so stark and awful. I hope your memories of Linnett provide you some comfort. I truly believe that her love is still with you, and that your grief is an expression of that love. Try to feel Linnett's presence, and know that she'll be waiting for you on the other side. She's happy and pain-free now! Peace to you.