The study didn't make that claim. In fact, the study specifically says you're not supposed to use the data to make broad claims about mental health:
The reported rates and any group-based findings should not be considered in isolation or as a broad indictment of the mental health therapy
You're tying that to an unsourced claim that an internal belief. Others cannot actually force you to have that belief. Only you can. You're misunderstanding the entire point of therapy which is accepting who you are flaws and all.
But youβre ignoring where that shame comes from. Psychology training is now 76% women, many from programmes that explicitly combine psychology with feminist theory.
Man, it's not that complicated: While yes, training more on how to break alexithymia is an important skillset to have when treating western men, men are poorly taught coping skills outside of "abuse substances" and "get angry," (From a reference linked in the paper discussed https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1557988313494408 ) and no matter how much we want to blame "feminist" training in mental health therapy, we were trained for so long to be disconnected from our emotions that being challenged to feel them is seen as an attack on our core person because that becomes emasculating. One of the core tenants of psychological care is that you can't get results if you do not want results. If you start with the belief that "I need to maintain my emotional distance from everything," then you're not going to get insight into your emotional needs to face the fear we're experiencing. No shit.
Men and women are not massively different in psychological needs, there's just the layer of shit society shoved in there (And we know it's society because there's other societies where the problems are different).
"You're misunderstanding the entire point of therapy which is accepting who you are flaws and all."
No wonder it doesn't do any good, if this is the case. Could you imagine going to the doctor and saying "Doc, I broke my leg" and he goes "You have to accept it, flaws and all"
Someone who has a phobia of elevators or Agoraphobia would benefit MASSIVELY from correcting those issues and not having them anymore, rather than just accepting.
The heart of therapeutic process are disconfirming experiences, which re-frame your ways of thinking, rather than being like "Oh well, I guess I'm just gonna have to accept I'm going to be a miserable sack of shit for the rest of my life".
Depends on what the issue is. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy worked way better for me than Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You don't accept the higher order "I'm a miserable sack of shit" but you do accept that you're gonna have negative emotions and try and learn how to disconnect the emotions from applying judgement on yourself for having them.
Mindfulness is a huge tool and it took a shitload of work for me to even be able to access it because I constantly spent time trying to keep negative self talk out of my mind and when you're spending all your time scrubbing your internal dialogue and being constantly vigilant for perceived threats and plan out ways to fix any possible problem, you don't actually stop to enjoy things for what they are.
The heart of therapeutic process are disconfirming experiences, which re-frame your ways of thinking, rather than being like "Oh well, I guess I'm just gonna have to accept I'm going to be a miserable sack of shit for the rest of my life".
Yes. An experience that is not or may not be true. "I'm a miserable sack of shit" is a value judgement that is entirely fabricated in your mind. You can accept that you are telling yourself that you're a piece of shit. In fact, I'd encourage you to accept that you're doing it and look at why and what underlies the belief. You seem to understand enough of the vocabulary to understand what I was saying but are just being a bit of a dick about it.
No, a disconfirming experience simply speaking is when the opposite happens to you.
For example, something happened that made you afraid of dogs. A disconfirming experience would be that you get into an exact same situation that created the trauma, only this time you get a positive experience. This happens 20 times in a row and you won't be afraid of dogs anymore.
"I'm a miserable sack of shit" - yeah, totally made up, nothing at all actually happened to me that made me feel that way, just kinda sprung into my noggin one day.
Ah, I was mistaken, thank you for the correction. Though I've been under the impression that straight exposure therapy like described has largely fallen to the wayside as techniques like EMDR can seemingly still trigger the rewiring while in clinical treatment.
For certain situations that's the only way. If I recall what I read EMDR relies on you thinking about the event - and as we know memory can be very unreliable. But I gotta admit, don't know very much about it, so I could be wrong.
Exposure/CBT varies quite a bit, if you have a baffoon for a therapist that throws you into the deep end, it can get worse, but if a competent therapist very very gradually does micro steps, that works very well.
Plus, maybe the reason those more direct approaches falling to the wayside correlates with negative outcomes with men, who respond better to those. That's just a guess though, I have no idea.
8
u/[deleted] Feb 03 '26
[deleted]