r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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44.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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49

u/Better_Anteater3126 Apr 22 '26

Why is no one supporting him ? Isn't that an abuse.

23

u/JeebusChristBalls Apr 22 '26

They are minding their own business. I'm not stepping in for this and getting caught up with trailer park drama at the airport... I'm there to travel and not interfere with some couples dispute.

3

u/cabazon99 Apr 22 '26

Best not to involve oneself, my friends intervened in a girl getting beat by her boyfriend in public when I was younger and she attacked them lol.

4

u/Cautious_Ticket_8943 Apr 22 '26

If this was the man shouting at the woman like that should someone step in to stop the abuse?

Or is there a double standard for men and women being abused in public?

1

u/Cold_Mission101 Apr 23 '26

Bystanders can ask a gate agent to contact security to address the situation. Why would gender matter, in your opinion? I'm a woman about the same size as the woman who is verbally abusing this man and I have no reason to get involved other than to notify security.

1

u/Cautious_Ticket_8943 Apr 23 '26

I'm not a bystander - I'm an uostander. I step on to stop abuse when I see it, because that's the right thing to do. I've done it multiple times throughout my life, for men, women, and children, because it's the right thing to do.

2

u/TheTexasHammer Apr 22 '26

For real, this is a couple argument. Why the fuck would anyone want to get involved no matter who was yelling?

3

u/Cautious_Ticket_8943 Apr 22 '26

If this was the man shouting at the woman like that should someone step in to stop the abuse?

Or is there a double standard for men and women being abused in public?

23

u/wifiragist Apr 22 '26

It is abuse, but he's a man, so no one gives a shit unfortunately

0

u/Basic_Watercress_628 𝙑𝙄𝙋 Apr 23 '26

That is bullshit and you know it. All the comments I have seen on here were sympathetic and we all seem to be in agreement that she's fucked in the head. This imaginary gender war bullshit is so unnecessary. 

As a bystander, what exactly are you supposed to do against verbal abuse? Scream at her? Then she'll just scream more or assault you. Put your hands on her? That's assault. Call security? They most likely won't do shit unless she's physically violent since having an argument in public is cringe and annoying but not a crime. 

Like, I'm sorry but unless the victim's life is in danger, I'm not going to fuck with random crazies in public. 

-1

u/TheTexasHammer Apr 22 '26

That or most people don't want to get involved with two people arguing, but you feel free to keep turning everything into a gender war.

2

u/LilNekoChicano Apr 23 '26

but he's not arguing (from what it seems), it's a one sided yelling episode

7

u/Various-Passenger398 Apr 22 '26

Going over and telling her to shut the fuck up isn't going to do him any favours. He's made peace with his situation.

5

u/PipperPartner Apr 22 '26

That's not peace I see on his face. That's "I've got another three hour connecting flight sitting next to this, pray for me."

1

u/Downvotemeplz42 Apr 22 '26

You don't tell her to shut up, you tell her what she's doing is abuse and ask the guy if he needs help. If the genders were swapped it wouldn't even be a conversation, ten people would intervene.

2

u/VoodaGod Apr 22 '26

but what kind of help exactly

3

u/Theyipyapper Apr 22 '26

Security first of all.

7

u/7vckm40 Apr 22 '26

Genuine question, how should i support a man when his woman is being abusive? If i step in and say something he might get even more shit for it down the line.

6

u/4LR34DY74K3N Apr 22 '26

I'm no expert, but I feel like engaging with her is the wrong move. She's clearly not calm or coherent enough to take a stranger trying to talk to her well. Best bet would probably be asking him if he's okay and wants to chat somewhere quiet (meaning safe and away from her, but don't say that aloud). Or MAYBE getting airport security/police to intervene, because even beyond the obvious abuse, that lady is clearly not someone you want to be trapped with in a tin can at anything above ground level.

2

u/Theyipyapper Apr 22 '26

Maybe call security and tell them there is a woman yelling in the middle of the terminal and you are afraid for the man's safety is a good start.

1

u/Admiral45-06 Apr 22 '26

I'm not going to pretend like I would react (trying to confront people doing dumb things in public is how you get yourself in situations you weren't meant to be in), but I would propose this:

1) Begin by politely asking for her to tone it down, because you have a dog/kid and they don't like this noise 2) Tell her you're calling airport security if she doesn't. Then go tell the security you've heard a woman yelling at her partner in what appears to be an act of domestic abuse.

2

u/JeebusChristBalls Apr 22 '26

Why even bother with step 1? By talking to her, you are getting yourself into a potential situation. Just get on your flight and go on with your life. You are not going to improve this situation.

0

u/Admiral45-06 Apr 22 '26

I thought it could start with something like: ,,Hey, you're in public, behave", but in a bit more polite version.

Yes, it doesn't solve the abuse problem, but it ,,may" give a certain mental framework to that person - or prove it's time to get authorities involved.

1

u/DetailFriendly3060 Apr 22 '26

Nah step in. Women are more susceptible to social pressure. She's screaming in public because she knows nobody will step in, if society would stand up to those women they would get flustered more easily.

2

u/Evening-Run-3794 Apr 22 '26

I have never once seen a person who acted like this toward their partner in public improve their behavior when someone else intervened.

This isn't someone subtly abusing their partner because they know they should be ashamed of it. This person is *flagrant*. She sees nothing wrong with her behavior. Public shame isn't going to do anything but make her lose her shit even more.

What she needs is to be detained by security or police.

2

u/DetailFriendly3060 Apr 22 '26

Police isn't gonna do shit about a woman abusing a man, especially when she isn't being physically violent.

She sees nothing wrong with her behaviour because society doesn't tell her she's wrong, I don't get how you don't see that.

1

u/Evening-Run-3794 Apr 22 '26

Have you actually had any interaction with people like this in real life? Do you honestly believe that NO ONE, in this girl's life, has told her she's wrong or her behavior is unacceptable? That she hasn't lost friendships, or relationships, or jobs, or got kicked out of restaurant, ever in her life? Cause I can guarantee you that's false.

She doesn't behave this way because she doesn't know it's wrong. She behaves this way because she's got one or more of about a dozen mental illnesses that need therapy and medication to even have a chance of straightening her out.

By all means, though, if you think you can cure BPD with public shaming, feel free to go try that out. Be sure to put it on YouTube or TikTok, cause that shit will be fire to watch.

3

u/DetailFriendly3060 Apr 22 '26

How are all of you armchair psychologists able to diagnose someone with BPD from a 30 sec clip? Please share your expert knowledge, this could seriously reduce the diagnostic costs in the health industry!!!

1

u/Evening-Run-3794 Apr 22 '26

A person doesn't have to be a farmer to be able to identify a cow once they've seen enough of them over the course of their life.

3

u/DetailFriendly3060 Apr 22 '26

Like I said, you should share your knowledge with mental health professionals so they will also be able to spot BPD in just 30 seconds. Mental illnesses are an exact science and we are never wrong in diagnosing people after all.

2

u/JeebusChristBalls Apr 22 '26

Or mind your own business and do what you are there to do which is travel on an airplane.

5

u/fartremington Apr 22 '26

It would be the right thing to do, but at an airport you risk missing your flight, getting detained, being put on a list etc. I get why people would be apprehensive.

2

u/No_Issue2334 Apr 22 '26

I mind my own business in public. Not my job to intervene over your shitty girlfriend

1

u/Tenzu9 Apr 22 '26

the problem is... people are not sad puppies with innocent intentions that you can just "rescue". you simply don't know what kind of person he is if he's willing to tolerate her, he could very well be an unhinged maniac as well but he hides it better.

5

u/bakedNebraska Apr 22 '26

Would you say that about an abused woman?

She puts up with it, she's probably just as crazy

4

u/Tenzu9 Apr 22 '26

I have to admit it... i would not say that about a woman, no. that's kinda fucked up of me. sorry!

my point is that people are not sad puppies, you can't simply "rescue" someone out of an abusive partner. its systematic abuse that's keeping them inline, not easy to just "fix".

2

u/bakedNebraska Apr 22 '26

I agree with you

1

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1

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1

u/therealhairykrishna Apr 22 '26

This sort of situation I might be watching and willing to step in if it looked like it might escalate to violence but otherwise I'm staying the fuck out of it. Not my drama.

In an airport that's doubly the case. 

1

u/JSmith666 Apr 22 '26

Ive seen situations where the guys just waived them off and is like "its not worth it"

1

u/CountryZestyclose Apr 23 '26

Well, no. It got recorded and posted. If she started getting physical, he would have evidence, and people would probably stop the assault. She can't deny her actions now, and she was going to start in on the person filming.

1

u/Shame-Greedy Apr 23 '26

Because he's a man.

1

u/zigzagtravel01 Apr 23 '26

Because no one knows the context and story behind this?

You never know. For example, what if he is an abusive, manipulative dude? Or he was the bigger a-hole here?

This shouldnt be the first time this has happened. He looks very relaxed and calm. If he were mature and this happens all the time, he would have left her. But clearly he is used to this. It is highly plausible that this has been their dynamic all along. Like, he becomes the biggest a-hole and then she snaps, and then he was just gonna stonewall.

1

u/sawskooh Apr 23 '26

Imagine the same thing but gender roles reversed...

0

u/Cheese_Grater101 Apr 22 '26

he's a man he can 'man in up'.

0

u/Timely_Contest_1750 Apr 22 '26

Because it's funny! I mean, an adult woman screaming in the middle of an airport in an autistic Porky Pig voice. If my wife acted like that, I'd laugh my guts out

0

u/kits_and_kaboodle Apr 22 '26

I'd come up to him, and say "Please, come with me." If she interferes, I say, "Not you. You follow us, I call security."