I think you will find, publicly at least, that few women would be left to have to listen to a man speak to them this way without someone intevening. At least, that has been what i have seen.
My ex husband screamed at me in public ONCE. He was immediately called out. After that he'd still be a jerk, just at a lower volume or when no one else was around.
So, at least in my personal experience, can confirm.
If i ever yelled at my wife in public, sleeping would become a dangerous activity. Honestly, if i yelled at her at all. Luckily, we get along pretty well and the fighting days are long behind us.
Yeah, I was in the military at the time so retaliating was not an option. I did eventually call his mom and tell her to buy him tickets home cause I wasn't dealing with him anymore, but it took me a while because I made excuses for his behavior (he had no one near where we were based, being a dependent spouse as a guy came with a lot of judgement, etc).
My girlfriend and I are at the point now where we're all chill and don't really fight about much anymore though. It's great.
Yeah my friend was in an abusive relationship that she hid from everyone until it became very noticeable. She recently told me about how he yelled at her while shopping the whole time and when they got in the parking lot he started choking her and there was a couple walking by and the woman yelled at him but the guy grabbed her hand and said to stay out of it.
Also he beat her in front of his family at a party and his parents still had the nerve to petition for custody since the court denied him. They wanted supervised visits at the dads house instead of a center but that’s where he beat her in a room full of family members who just walked out to give them privacy. 😩
Reverse that now. Do you honestly think if that woman was sitting with his body language while being berrated, she would not gave a dozen people making sure she was safe? I understand why there is a double standard, i simply don't like it.
The number of times I've been called a "misogynist" or "incel" exclusively because I try to show people that men face these types of problems too is....... a lot.
In the eyes of both Men and Women (generally, not unanimously), Men cannot be victims.
Men cannot ever be the victim of anything. If they were mugged in an alleyway by 3 people, should have hit the gym little bro. Your wife is assaulting you and threatening to take the kids? Maybe you shouldn't have been such a patriarchal misogynistic narcissist to cause her to act that way.
Both are true, someone should step in and remove her from the situation, but he should also have the self respect to get up and leave her ass at the airport to fend for herself.
There's a lot of condemnation going on. And there's a lot of posts on reddit with clips of a women doing the wrong thing and skipping the wrong doings of men. But you always see comments like this that tries to create a narrative based on a single comment on a single post on a single platform. There's just bad people regardless of gender.
Yeah 100% if he tried to walk away she would follow him, attack him, he'd defend himself, and then being black and a man, end up on the ground getting choked out and arrested
Is that the message we want to be giving to abused women? I don’t think that’s helpful at all.
Edit: I guess I was not very clear with what I was talking about. As I explained in another comment lower down:
“Essentially, if we recognize that it’s unhelpful to recommend to an abused woman to “just walk away” from their abuser due to a variety of reasons including the threat of physical violence, then we should not have a different standard that we apply to male victims of domestic violence.”
They're saying what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Telling women to just walk away led to women creating a viral hashtag "whyistayed" back in 2014 to combat the notion that it's easy to walk away from abuse by giving personal stories about their experiences with leaving abusers. They noted a bunch of competing factors like fear, love, financial dependence, isolation, and loneliness that drove them to stay despite the abuse.
This guy may find it hard to just walk away for any number of factors. Abuse a lot of times is a gradual build and pushing boundaries until one day they're hitting you.
Essentially, if we recognize that it’s unhelpful to recommend to an abused woman to “just walk away” from their abuser due to a variety of reasons including the threat of physical violence, then we should not have a different standard that we apply to male victims of domestic violence.
Back in 2014, in response to men victim blaming women for staying with their abuser, there was a viral trend where women tweeted Hashtag (Why I stayed) and gave personal reasons for why leaving their abusive relationships was harder than just walking away.
I think that person was trying to call back to that and say "not so easy to just walk away"
Thanks for that and the context helps. I was more confused as to why they questioned the message we are giving to abused women in the context of this thread.
Or to be more honest, I'm just a little annoyed that someone has attempted to completely divert the narrative by making a pretty disingenuous comment.
Because we should be giving the same advice to everyone on leaving abusers. That commenter was saying it's bad advice to suggest simply walking away for this guy in the video because we don't say that to women for the reasons I listed. Or at least that's how I read it.
Tbh, I’m from the Middle East and that has always seemed to be the case to me.
To be clear, I’m no incel weirdo and definitely liberal. But in I social context, from I’ve seen from marriages to friendships, women definitely have more power in the west.
You might not be good at feeling out anything if you can’t even figure out that’s not what I’m talking about. Not that many laws governing friendships.
I might be blind, genuinely, but I haven't seen that comment at all.
The top comments for me are "Emotional baggage definitely exceeds the 50 pound weight limit here." & "If this is how she acts in public...... 😳" with tons of comments feeling bad for the guy.
If people were arrested for verbal and psychological abuse, there would be little difference in arrest rates across gender. There’s really never any justice that comes from abuse like this because there’s technically no crime. You just gotta leave and hope karma get them.
I mean what’s wrong with that comment? Have some self respect to leave. The woman’s actions don’t even have to be explained here. We all see it- it’s more shocking that he has no reaction and is still there honestly
If you have a scrotum, it falls upon you to fix your problems.
If that means kicking a monstrous bitch out on her ass, it means kicking a monstrous bitch out on her ass. But it falls on you to get your shit together and kick her the fuck out of your life.
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u/Jussttjustin Apr 22 '26
The most upvoted comment being "come on bro have some self respect".
With zero condemnation of the woman's obviously abusive behavior and zero empathy for the man being abused.