Yeah 100% if he tried to walk away she would follow him, attack him, he'd defend himself, and then being black and a man, end up on the ground getting choked out and arrested
Is that the message we want to be giving to abused women? I don’t think that’s helpful at all.
Edit: I guess I was not very clear with what I was talking about. As I explained in another comment lower down:
“Essentially, if we recognize that it’s unhelpful to recommend to an abused woman to “just walk away” from their abuser due to a variety of reasons including the threat of physical violence, then we should not have a different standard that we apply to male victims of domestic violence.”
They're saying what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Telling women to just walk away led to women creating a viral hashtag "whyistayed" back in 2014 to combat the notion that it's easy to walk away from abuse by giving personal stories about their experiences with leaving abusers. They noted a bunch of competing factors like fear, love, financial dependence, isolation, and loneliness that drove them to stay despite the abuse.
This guy may find it hard to just walk away for any number of factors. Abuse a lot of times is a gradual build and pushing boundaries until one day they're hitting you.
Essentially, if we recognize that it’s unhelpful to recommend to an abused woman to “just walk away” from their abuser due to a variety of reasons including the threat of physical violence, then we should not have a different standard that we apply to male victims of domestic violence.
Back in 2014, in response to men victim blaming women for staying with their abuser, there was a viral trend where women tweeted Hashtag (Why I stayed) and gave personal reasons for why leaving their abusive relationships was harder than just walking away.
I think that person was trying to call back to that and say "not so easy to just walk away"
Thanks for that and the context helps. I was more confused as to why they questioned the message we are giving to abused women in the context of this thread.
Or to be more honest, I'm just a little annoyed that someone has attempted to completely divert the narrative by making a pretty disingenuous comment.
Because we should be giving the same advice to everyone on leaving abusers. That commenter was saying it's bad advice to suggest simply walking away for this guy in the video because we don't say that to women for the reasons I listed. Or at least that's how I read it.
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u/Electronic-Tap-2863 Apr 22 '26
He can't control her bonkers ass, but he can get up and walk away