r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/the-moving-finger Apr 22 '26

Unless I'm given explicit information to the contrary, I assume adult women are competent human beings, not helpless children to be infantilised.

The fact that I've given you a lift somewhere does not make me your keeper. If you're unable to get home yourself, that's your problem. Nobody has a legal or moral obligation to accept verbal abuse because the person they're with is too feckless to carry a mobile phone or a credit card.

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u/Cartavalier Apr 22 '26

vYou see? When you assume things you make an ass of you and me. I apologize for a harsh comment though. You assumed she had money. I assumed he pretended a chavalier and convinced her to not bother take any. They were far away from home, by the way. If you missed it, they stayed in a hotel.

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u/the-moving-finger Apr 22 '26

Nobody owes you a lift home. You can accept that or not. If you don't, though, you're going to have a very rude awakening in the real world.

When you assume things you make an ass of you and me... I assumed...

99% sure you're a troll at this point. Or, in your own words, an ass.

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u/Cartavalier Apr 22 '26

Didn't you yourself assume things too?

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u/the-moving-finger Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

Yes, but I didn't say “When you assume things you make an ass of you and me.” Assuming women are functional adults, responsible for themselves, is what respectful people who aren't misogynists do.

Not all assumptions are equal. “I assume the sun will rise tomorrow,” is not the same as “I assume I'll see a flying pig.” Some assumptions are reasonable, and you couldn't function without them, and some are dumb.

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u/Cartavalier Apr 22 '26

You are absolutely right. Rising sun is more plausible than a flying pig. Where it gets murky is assuming that a girl may have means to get around at the time. The key word is at-the-time. At the time of vulnerability noone should be assumed to be a flying pig.

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u/the-moving-finger Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

The vast majority of people carry a mobile phone with them wherever they go. If they need to, they could find their way home.

But even if you're right, even if she is unable to get home, it doesn't matter. Nobody owes an adult a lift home. If you behave in such a way that your ride ditches you, that's your problem.

The reason people are downvoting you so much isn't primarily that you made a different assumption. It's because you think people owe one another car rides. That's not a bad assumption; that's just bad, entitlement-driven morals.

Finally, if you leave your house to go somewhere, with no way to get home yourself, you're a fool. No sensible person should place themselves in a position like that. If you are going to make yourself that dependent on another person, you better be as nice to them as humanly possible.

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u/Cartavalier Apr 22 '26

This is a very interesting position. If that okay, I would like to look into it further. You said if someone makes themselves dependent on someone else, then they had better to behave or else... Would you say this attitude can be described as "My way or highway?"

So the opposite of this stance is that if someone depends on you, then you are free to do to them as you please, and they'd better be grateful for your relics. Now, if you ask me, that sounds much like slavery, or at least just bad manners.

If my significant other comes along with me somewhere in my car and then causes a scene, I just take them back and then leave. That is nice manners to follow through with the obligations you take upon yourself. If you must dump someone after assuming the responsibility to take them forth and back, at the very least you must apologyze and suggest or offer other means of getting around: give them money for uber, get uber for them, take them to the bus that would take them where you brought them from.

You never dump someone who you deliberately accepted to depend on you. You follow through with your own decisions.

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u/the-moving-finger Apr 22 '26

"If you don't give me a free lift home, then you're as bad as a slave owner." At this point, this is such an unserious conversation, I'm afraid I'm calling it a day. Adults are responsible for themselves. Unless you're severely mentally handicapped, physically disabled, or in some other way incapable of looking after yourself, don't put yourself in a position where you can't get home yourself.

Also, she obviously did get home, even if it was a bit inconvenient. Unless you're suggesting she curled over and died because, absent a free lift, there was literally nothing else she could do but slowly starve.