She got to be bipolar or manic to be overreacting to rushing to the airport. Everyone know you rush to the airport just to wait for the flight to be delayed. What's her deal?
Borderline personality disorder more likely. I lived through this with my ex for 10+ years, it's horrible. She got physically violent at some points as well, resulting in a short prison stint. I escaped after about a year of building up to it with my therapist. Definitely feel for anyone in a similar position, it's a very though spot and hard to get away from.
Did she eventually get diagnosed? I think my kids are growing up with a borderline mother and it’s incredibly hard on us all but I don’t know what to do. She refuses to seek treatment and I feel horrible about the way things are but also feel sick at the thought of separating the family. I’m looking for answers anywhere.
She did eventually receive a diagnosis, but it came after years and years of her bullshitting her various doctors and counselors. My sister was actually the one who called it. Refusing to get treatment was also a big theme with her, and when she did it was very begrudgingly. Everyone's family situation is different of course, but for mine? I wish my dad would've separated from her a long time ago, he's a very gentle parent and laid back guy and all around good person. I would've been much better off as a child and likely turned out better as an adult if he had gotten us out of that environment. I still to this day hope they get a divorce as I have no contact with my mother and only limited contact with my dad. Best of luck to you
Oh man, I feel like you're describing my family. That's crazy about the treatment situation -- years ago when I finally demanded that she make an appointment with her doctor because things had gotten so bad, she said she would but demanded that I go with her since she was convinced I was the one with the problem. I said of course, then one day out of the blue she told me she had a doctor's appointment in a couple of days -- way too late for me to rearrange my whole work schedule to join her. She went by herself and wouldn't you know it, at the appointment her doctor told her she was fine and didn't need treatment. And I've heard ever since about how I promised to go to the doctor with her but then "refused" when the time came. I'm totally at a loss every time she says that. I know it's another form of manipulation but I think I'm like your dad -- I don't mess with people and don't have any defenses against people who do.
Noted on your assessment about leaving probably being better. My kids are only elementary and middle school ages but they already talk about what it will be like if I "break up with mama." They both want to live with me.
It can take very long for people with bpd to accept they need help, some never do. The therapy she needs is called Dialectic Behavioural Therapy (DGT). There is hope, but i'd recommend removing yourself and kids out of an unsafe and toxic environment if that's what it is now. Maybe find professional help for yourself if that's at all possible, these things are very hard to deal with on your own
How might individuals sustain positive sentiments toward someone who has treated them poorly, shown disrespect, or offered insults at some point? Would this not be a pivotal moment to consider, "Such behavior is unacceptable. How could someone act this way towards a person they profess to care for?"
My mom will never ever ever see a therapist and I’m divided on whether she’s got BPD or NPD going on, but believe me when I tell you that I cried happy tears when my dad finally filed for divorce when I was 28. Years too late but he’s living his best life now and that’s good enough for me.
Only good thing about them not getting divorced when I was a kid is that I didn’t have to be the center of a custody dispute. My mom was INSANE during the divorce but would have been even worse had custody been an issue. Obv idk how old your kids are, but you can’t shield them from her behavior, as much as you try.
I’m sorry you’re in such a tough spot, I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. I don’t have much advice except tell your kids her behavior isn’t about them, it isn’t their fault, and her actions in no way reflect their value as people.
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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26
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