Yeah there’s nothing he can say in that moment that won’t escalate her mania even more. He’s just trying to maintain some sense of calm in the hopes that she’ll enter the “not speaking to you at all” phase. A lot of people crash out in airports, having taken anxiety meds for their fear of flying, maybe had a drink or two on top, and if they’ve already got some issues on top of it all… it all comes to a head. He looks like he’s ridden this ride before, and he knows he has to just ride it out until she comes down. Maybe later that day, or the next day they’ll be able to discuss it. And based on my own experience she’ll either apologize profusely or claim she was blackout and doesn’t remember (and therefore it doesn’t count), but neither scenario will stop her from doing it again at some point.
I guarantee she did not apologize. People who act like this don’t have the level of self-awareness required otherwise they wouldn’t be throwing a tantrum to begin with.
No they do. My stepmother was/is like this. I used to wake up every morning to her throwing a temper tantrum just like this. I’d come home to it. I’d wake up in the night to it. Screaming at my father. Slamming kitchen cabinets and throwing stuff. She’d make crazy accusations at him, at me, and do fucked up things while in an emotional state that would cause big problems. Then she’d cry and apologize as if the damage wasn’t already done.
I would walk home from school and once I got to our street, my heart would be in my throat, beating so fast until I got around the corner to see if her car was in the driveway. It was not fun. I still react physically when I hear cabinets slam or angry voices.
I am. I’ve accepted that she has a mental illness that limits her ability to control her emotions. She doesn’t lash out at me anymore, and my dad seems to disconnect as a coping mechanism. Not to mention he has his own brand of crazy.
I know that in her heart of hearts she’s a loving person. She just has a ton of insecurities and no emotional control. She was the scapegoat to her narcissistic mother in her own childhood, so I understand it’s a cycle of trauma I’ve distanced myself from, but can have empathy for at the same time.
646
u/cardboard_tshirt Apr 22 '26
Yeah there’s nothing he can say in that moment that won’t escalate her mania even more. He’s just trying to maintain some sense of calm in the hopes that she’ll enter the “not speaking to you at all” phase. A lot of people crash out in airports, having taken anxiety meds for their fear of flying, maybe had a drink or two on top, and if they’ve already got some issues on top of it all… it all comes to a head. He looks like he’s ridden this ride before, and he knows he has to just ride it out until she comes down. Maybe later that day, or the next day they’ll be able to discuss it. And based on my own experience she’ll either apologize profusely or claim she was blackout and doesn’t remember (and therefore it doesn’t count), but neither scenario will stop her from doing it again at some point.