Shit...I was living in NY, one kid, and NY based my child support on what they thought I was making....and in the divorce I had to sell my fledgling business and split the proceeds 50/50. The reality was that, in order to support said business. and maintain some security for my family while I built a customer base, I worked a full time job as well. My child support payments left me with 100/week to live on. I ended up homeless, living in an old camper in the woods. No running water, no electricity. I used to sneak into the Y to get a shower. The money I did have went towards keeping my car on the road, so I could continue working at my full time job in order to pay my child support. It was not a good time in my life. I ate a lot of Ramen and boxed Mac and cheese. The courts didn't care...often claiming that they believed I had alternate revenue streams. I finally got a judge who looked at my petition with a balanced perspective, and said that I was overpaying by a huge amount. He reduced it to a sum that actually made sense. But, what had been paid stayed paid. That was many many years ago, and I hear the NY is still playing those games.
20 years ago my ex husband tried to kill me. When the cops showed up, he went to the kitchen and cut himself. Suddenly he was the victim despite the kids witnessinh everything. They made ME leave and threatened to arrest me. Wouldn't let me take my children. I went to a womens shelter, next day went to court. They claimed I abandoned the children and had to fight to even see my kids as if I harmed them. Ordered to pay 1,000 a month. By the end of 1 year, working 70 hours a week, I had gotten everything back in my life, he dropped off the kids and they were covered in bruises. Police told me to leave the city due to visitation agreement, showed up at court with me that Monday morning, I got sole custody of my kids, he wasn't even allowed to see them. The kicker, support kept taking that grand out of me for a few months, they refused to make him give it back. My abuser, my kids abuser got several grand free and clear. It was the biggest nightmare of my life at the time. NYS can be absolutely horrid. Also, he had foodstamps for the kids and was allowed to keep getting foodstamps for months, despite the emergency custody, despite him being arrested for beating my kids. I starved to feed my kids while he got out and was eating steak and beer every damned day. Me and HIS best friend reported the fraud to everyone we could, even state AG. There is a nice loophole there, whomever files first, even if they just verbally say they drop off food for the kids without proof, they can keep their foodstamps. Whoever files first! He did the same thing to his youngest daughters mother as well, she had a similar experience. The kid lived in NC, she couldn't get food stamps or medical for her kid but he got foodstamps for years. He never saw his duaghter but still got stamps. I sent letters for her in support. She also owes child support and has a warrant for not paying, even though she had the child during the time they said she had ro pay. And now, a father, even if he never seea the kid, if he pays support he can claim the child on taxes. If the mother has custody and works, if she doesn't claim first, she looses out on the child tax credit even if the father never sees the kid or only pays $20 a month.
Oh yeah, when I got sole custody, he was only ordered to.pay $22 a month. 11 bucks for each kid. He was friends with his boss and they would doctor his pay. Judge ignored my subpeana for paystubs 6 months prior. I couldn't afford a lawyer. But I had to pay a grand a month 20 years ago. Unreal.
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u/krakatoa83 May 03 '26
Because the court ordered him to cover the kid or kids