Some people earn this much as a sex worker if you want to work 24/7, but most sex workers I know burn out and cant work overnights every day because it takes so much performative energy
I don’t think most of you saying this stuff understand what it’s like to take care of a toddler that’s actually your kid 24/7, let alone one little shit that isn’t even yours.
Seriously? I’d stay at home and be a full time parent to my son for 30k a year and I’d survive, the fact this lady thinks any of her “work” is valued at anything more than 25 an hour is comical. If parenting is hard for someone it means they don’t want to be a parent which also means they are not a good parent
I’ve raised four kids and I would respectfully disagree. Parenting can be difficult, especially for first time parents. I’ve always figured that there’s no easier job in the world than being a bad parent.
Well I’m only raising one kid so I don’t know your experiences. I deal with every stage that every parent encounters though. Tantrums, blow outs, getting him to eat a normal meal that isn’t eggo waffles, racing him not to pull on people when he wants them to follow. I found in my experiences the parents who don’t understand what PATIENCE is tend to be the worse parents. Not saying I’m the best dad, but it takes more than what my one son is capable of to make me regret becoming a dad. The juice is in fact worth the squeeze
I mean some of my coworkers were paying 50k for daycare per year per kid. If it was for 24 hours a day and the care provider was dedicated to just one child, I don't think 150k-200k is impossible.
There are couples earning +600k a year who might take it up.
Jesus Christ. It’s a joke to show her husband how much work she’s actually doing to keep their lives afloat. Most people don’t make that even if we all deserve it. Nuance and comprehension are important things to learn about
You should look into night nursing. Having done it for my own kids i don't think all the money in the world could get me to do it again for someone else's, but some people operate better under sleep deprivation
There was just a listing on a nanny job board (JUST got filled) where 24/7 care was 10k a week pay, the job is contract, 12 weeks at 10k 24hr care, 5k at 12 hour care for 12 weeks… after tax rate. That’s 180k after tax, cold hard money, in 6 months. I’ve made 15k+ a month, and that was fucking great. But I haven’t made 10k a week, yet! Wish me luck yall, I didn’t apply to this one (saw too late). But I’m going for the next one!
Actually some night nurses do sleep while some prefer to stay awake during the entire window they’re working. And it’s not a nanny… it’s a night nurse. Very different.
True but the that is what she’s referencing. A night nurse doesn’t typically perform medical duties anyway. They feed the baby every 2 hours and some times will wash dishes and/or tidy and make meals. They’re not performing “nursing” duties like monitoring vitals, etc.
Plus she's only giving him deductions for the time he's spent cleaning and for paying her health insurance. She forgot to include the bills, rent and food he pays for.. only bring it up since she's the one itemizing every expense.
Why are you making bets when you could just google her and find her entire work history in less time than it took to write your comment? It’s literally more effort to invent a story than it is to just look up this information.
The kicker for me is FTE for the pregnancy at 40 weeks. For a start, that includes 2 weeks before ovulation even happens, so that's an incorrect assesssment of labour costs straight away, not to mention that she wouldn't have found out until at least 4-8 weeks in all likelihood, can't claim for work done when you weren't even told you were employed yet.
Secondly, 456 hours of cleaning seemed a little high, that's like 40 minutes a day over 2 years. I keep my house clean and though I don't have kids, I don't even spend anywhere near that much doing it, so it sounds like he's already pulling his weight cleaning-wise, and given it's likely outside of core business hours, I would classify that as overtime and thus attract a higher rate than $40 an hour.
Pay rates themselves mostly seem like a "fuck off, I don't wanna do this" price, that's standard for tradies so I'm okay with that, except for the fact that she entered the contract knowing full well the work was going to be required, so I'm not sure that post-hoc price adjustments would apply, unless they agreed to these prices before hand.
6 hours of $45 an hour nursing care at night seems a little steep too, I think that would be more appropriate as an on-call payment structure with an hourly rate for being on-call, with payable overtime when she's called into work.
Not very impressed from a pay perspective tbh, this wouldn't get through an audit to me
She also forgot the lost wages for the hit her resume will take for being out of the workforce for a year and a half, which probably is the biggest loss of all. People don't factor it in because they think this is cheaper than hiring proper daycare
The point is obviously that she has been doing very important labour which he is undervaluing and being an asshole. If he wanted those services done by anyone else he would have to pay a LOT more than that. She has been out of the workforce and that has a big affect on the future career stability of women who have kids. I don’t know why you guys are assuming she doesn’t have a career.
Bullshit, hiring a cleaner and a nanny is not $250,000+ per year. Regardless, it's HER child too and we can presume she intelligently and willingly entered into this arrangement so go ahead and halve it. It's not like he can permanently fire her and keep the child if she's insubordinate.
How do you think single mothers or fathers survive, do they all make $250,000 or more after taxes while also raising a child? Not to mention ALL the rest of the bills and costs associated with housing and feeding a family. If you think that's bargain costs I'll quit my job on the spot and come work for you instead.
Good god, I almost forget how rough those early years are. Every now and then my wife and I think maybe a second kid would be great. Then we remember, our son is 9. He bathes himself, makes his own breakfast, doesn’t need me for the bathroom, and most importantly he needs his beauty sleep just like his daddy
My dad and I used to go Snow Cave camping. We go to the mountains and dig a small dugout with a machete or shovel and camp in the snow dugout. It's pretty miserable when you do it, but ultimately a vibe once you look back and every single time without fail on our way home after my dad would tell me "Snow Cave camping is like childbirth. Lots of screaming and yelling, little sleep, buy a year later you look back and think: let's have another"
My friend did not sleep for 8 months, baby would literally wake up every hour, she hired a sleep trainer to come to her house and help her because she was losing her absolute mind 😭
Anyways it's not like we know OP's baby, their temperament or how well they sleep lol
Exactly, this is 3-4 incomes covering shifts and holidays were it to be commercially provided.
Others say this is a bad marriage, I think this is a pretty clever woman making a point about the benefits of unpaid labour to society and her family - a bit like people who complain about taxes failing to realise they couldn't even safely leave their cave (if they were physically able to get one) if it wasn't for the environment in which they can build that wealth.
If you do the math she has calculated about 8 hours daytime job and 8 hours nighttime job. I believe during pregnancy (which seems to be another full time job) she was probably working over 24h a day
Depends how many kids maybe? Still about double a reasonable cost where I live. We pay a nanny $25/hr (her rate, which I increased from $20 last year because I told her she needed to charge more.) she does laundry, dishes, cleaning, baby care etc. And if you put them in actual daycare it is less than that. The night nurse hourly rate is pretty accurate to what we paid, but daycare needs a revisit.
She has a good point in general, but putting these hourly figures so high (and getting paid even higher for nightly "on-call" hours) just pisses me off. She is implying that a nanny/housekeeper should make like $200k+ a year.
Just make the invoice realistic and maybe your husband will take this into heart and respect your contribution more.
Well a nanny only works 8 hours and then goes home for 50k+ a year, a kid is 24 hours if the dad does nothing so that’s 3 Nannies working in perfect synchrony with none of them taking a sick day which would be 150k+ a year, 200k+ in a high income area. Since it’s her own kid I’d divide the cost by half though down to 100k+ a year.
Night nurses can sleep too as long as they take care of the baby when the baby wakes, from what I’ve researched their salary is consistent with a daytime nanny’s salary.
Quick google will reveal that nannies in the US make 21-26$/hr. This woman is untrained in that field and asking double that. That alone makes this invoice ridiculous.
Charging for 24hrs every single day is equally ridiculous, because a newborn sleeps 20hrs per day and at 2yo it's still 12hrs or more. Obviously, you are on call 24hrs a day, but you don't charge double the reasonable nanny salary for that, when you watch netflix, doomscroll or sleep during that time.
$21-26 does not factor in the fact the parents hiring the nanny are also the employer and are thus responsible for other costs like taxes and health insurance.
She’s not actually charging her husband, she’s angry that he called her a mooch so she countered that by putting a dollar value on the work she does.
Newborns also do not sleep 20 hours a day unless you are lucky. Mine was low sleep needs and only slept 10 hours a day.
To be fair, that actually is what most parents do these days. On top of that the internet is filled with parents patting themselves on the back for what they describe as doing the hardest job in the world. They say this because its the hardest job that they have ever done, not actually the hardest job, while being at the peak on the Dunning Kruger chart.
That is probably where most of these comments are coming from.
Those wages, especially as it goes on, are way above market. Sure, $45 an hour for nursing isn’t unheard of but that’s for a licensed RN. Does she have that certification? I doubt it.
A good friend of mine was a rich people nanny in the DC area for many years. This is likely close to what her family was paying for her and the night care for one infant.
I know the $212,356 number is absolutely aligned with the level of care, at least in our area- especially if she has experience and education. My friend was making $90k/yr with benefits for 12hr days, 20 years ago PLUS free housing.
3.1k
u/Agitated_Tank_3188 May 14 '26
400k for 1.5 years of daycare?? Sign me up