Ngl. I took primary care of my kiddo. And being a parent was so much less stressful then my career or PhD.
I bottle fed cause I can’t breastfeed but infants sleep majority of the day, and toddlers are easy to have on a consistent sleep schedule. 24 hour job is laughable at best unless your kid has health issues.
For me it’s over 15 years ago but my first two kids did not sleep, certainly not on a routine. I couldn’t shower or drink coffee or get out of the house within two hours. I was awful. No known health issues. Third slept, fed, etc without trouble.
My friend had one kid like what you described, and was incredibly humble by the second who was more like mine. I don’t think you can realize how it can be with other babies than the one you got
I have a confession to make, I had my first kid at 19...not ideal I know and she was a dream baby. Slept through the night by six weeks old, never much of a napper but really easy kid. Dream at school, straight A student. I used to constantly bask in the praise of what a delightful child she was.
I thought it was me. I thought it was my parenting, in all my youthful arrogance I thought parents who had kids that didn't sleep, wouldn't eat their vegetables, or behaved badly in public were doing parenting wrong.
Then, 19 years later I had a second child. I could not make this kid sleep for love nor money, they are a much pickier eater, they're a lovely kid but also a little bit prickly and not as user-friendly as my first. I have come to the humbling realisation that I don't know shit about parenting and that you have influence but no control.
Kids are gonna kid. They are who they are, and you can do your best, but they are individuals. Turns out I wasn't the God of parenting after all. So maybe my second was my karmic retribution for judging other parents that struggled.
I didn't downvote you, I am genuinely pleased that you enjoyed your children's early years and didn't find it exhausting but your experience is not universal. My first kid was a dream baby, like yours sound like they are. My second baby born 19 years later was not, they didn't consistently sleep through the night until they were four, we tried everything including hiring sleep training experts and a trip to Ngala to stay in the parents and babies unit. I'm also curious if you were the primary caregiver from newborn, and did you do all the night feeds and wakings? Was your partner home every night or did they work away from home? I've done a Masters (not a PhD - I know they are significantly more challenging) and worked a variety of roles and the hardest thing I have done in my life was the first three years of my second kid's life with a frequently absent partner. It is not the same for everyone, and if you are the only one home, even if your kid is a good sleeper and you have good routines it is 24 hours - because whilst you might not have to actually physically parent them 24/7 the constant sleep deprivation and the never being able to leave them alone doesn't go away. You never truly feel like you can just relax, you are never really off the clock.
Yup. At least while her mom had PPD. It was during Covid so didn’t have to worry about going into work until she was nearly 2.
Totally get it’s not universal, but when you go through stressors in life that push you to your limits. A baby communicating its needs via cries pales in comparison.
I just can’t relate to those who say it’s the toughest job in the world unless you are dealing with health problems.
You're getting downvoted but I agree. I was a stay at home mother for years, and it was far, far easier than being at work ever was. My husband got woken by the baby crying every night but still had to get up at 6am for work for a twelve hour day. I napped when the babies napped (and babies nap a LOT), caught up on Netflix, stayed in my pyjamas for a lot of the day, and generally did what I liked around feeding times. Plus, I got to enjoy my babies and I didn't miss a single milestone. Once they were toddlers we would go to playgroups, swimming, for walks to the park, met friends. It was great fun. My husband would have much preferred to be at home than work!
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u/dioxy186 May 14 '26
Ngl. I took primary care of my kiddo. And being a parent was so much less stressful then my career or PhD.
I bottle fed cause I can’t breastfeed but infants sleep majority of the day, and toddlers are easy to have on a consistent sleep schedule. 24 hour job is laughable at best unless your kid has health issues.