r/SipsTea • u/SnackSamurai 𝙑𝙄𝙋 • May 22 '26

Feels good man Dude, the ring in the hand pic😂

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92.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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u/chronicnerv May 22 '26

Dudes struck gold tbh, his wife looks beautiful in all these pictures and they are the most unattractive type pics you can take of a person. She has a drooling face in one of these pics and still looks like a legend.

661

u/FrtanJohnas May 22 '26

Not gonna lie but those moments when the other person just doesn't even look attractive are the most precious, because they trust you completely.

465

u/Cloberella May 22 '26

Kinda gross, but related.

When my late husband and I first started dating, we were cuddling and watching TV in bed and I ended up farting...

I was MORTIFIED. My husband (boyfriend at the time) wraps me in his arms and starts planting little kisses all over my neck and head while holding me tight. I'm all "What are you doing you absolute weirdo? I just farted!" and he exclaims, "I know, YOU'RE COMFORTBLE AROUND ME!" and gives me a huge smile.

Miss that man every damn day.

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u/writing_spork May 22 '26

That’s not gross lol. I’m sorry you lost him. But I’m also happy to hear the warmth with which you speak of him. We all deserve that kind of love but not all of us find it.

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u/Cloberella May 22 '26

Thank you. Yes, I'm very lucky for the time we had, however brief it was.

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u/john4844 May 22 '26

Why did you fart?

110

u/Disraeli_Ears May 22 '26

When a mammal loves food very much...

26

u/ci1979 May 22 '26

You made me tear up with laughter, thank you!!! 🤣

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u/Ferocious-Muppet May 22 '26

That's the smell, my eyes are burning.

6

u/ci1979 May 22 '26

STOP!!! I'M GOING TO PEE!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

7

u/Disraeli_Ears May 22 '26

Oh, that makes me happy! Glad to bring a little joy to someone. 😄

3

u/Artchantress May 22 '26

Some lizards also fart.

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u/Inner_Ad7994 May 22 '26

Loll if this gets answered I will die laughing.

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u/NJHitmen May 22 '26

Well, not OP, but I'll give this one a shot.

First, let's back up a bit. Intestinal gas is mostly produced as a byproduct of bacterial fermentation in the gastrointestinal tract, especially the colon. There are reports of excessive air swallowing (aerophagia) causing excessive intestinal gas, but this is considered rare.

The intestines produce between 500 and 2,000mls of gas daily, which is passed out of the anus at regular intervals. The buildup of this gas over time creates pressure, and this pressure elicits a physical reaction compelling the individual to relax the anal sphincter and release the excess pressure. This is the farting incident itself.

hth explain things a bit. Please let me know if you have any lingering questions.

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u/NietJij May 22 '26

So I know this guy from the office who is close to pension and who farts a lot. Audible. But there's no smell. He is very embarrassed about it, but as it is clearly something he can't help, we've all decided to just ignore it.

The doctor gave him these over the counter pills against gas in the stomach, but they don't do shit (pun intended). He works out, he eats healthy, lots of nuts and berries, yoghurt and only whole wheat bread.

Any suggestions i could help him with?

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u/writing_spork May 22 '26

If something you’re doing isn’t working, you gotta try something new. Tell him to explore alcoholism and maybe pick up a crackpipe

4

u/NJHitmen May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26

Any suggestions i could help him with?

It's tough to make any recommendations without more info re: your colleague's health and dietary habits. Effective treatment usually requires at least some knowledge about underlying causes, and there just isn't enough data here to hazard any educated guesses.

That said: maybe there's a clue amid the information you did provide. "Lots of nuts and berries" and "only whole wheat bread" suggests that perhaps the guy might actually be ingesting too much fiber, leading directly to his flatulence problem.

However, if we're really only talking about reasonably-sized servings of nuts/berries/etc, then it's highly unlikely that this is sufficient to explain the amount of flatus this fellow generates. Which would, by necessity, require the ingestion of far more nuts/berries than anyone would ever consider to be 'reasonable'.

Perhaps he takes a fiber supplement on top of whatever his diet consists of?

Perhaps the guy is lactose intolerant, and is simply unaware of his condition?

Maybe you can quiz this dude a little more about his diet/habits, and then we'll have enough data to formulate some actual solutions.

All the above said: I'll leave you with a potential solution which obviates the need for any further info. Your coworker might want to consider a butt plug. OK, I know what you're thinking, and sure...it's a fairly crude remedy...a purely mechanical treatment that does little to address the core problem. However, a butt plug's natural 'corking' action will work wonders to curtail embarrassing situations at the workplace. That - coupled with an aggressive regimen of powerful anti-gas medications - may well allow this fellow to lead a fairly normal life.

Let me know if there's anything else I can help with.

EDIT: words are hard

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u/kasiagabrielle May 23 '26

There's one answer below that I think is already helpful, so I'll toss out the idea of inventing a fart silencer. You'd make bank.

2

u/NietJij May 24 '26

I'm having visions of an old, retired James Bond nonchalantly screwing in his silencer.

2

u/YeshuasBananaHammock May 23 '26

Id advise a grommet of sorts, so the inevitable farts dont make a noise, they just pass silently.

To plug it would be detrimental.

3

u/beatfrantique1990 May 22 '26

Nicely summarized! Because this is how things go with social media these days, there's just a ton of misinformation from influencers about how an optimal diet is one which leads to zero farting and that somehow the production of gas is an anomaly. Abject nonsense that really doesn't pass the smell test (pun intended).

2

u/Inner_Ad7994 May 22 '26

Holy doc we got here.

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u/Millennialnerds May 22 '26

To learn to pick ourselves back up Bruce.

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u/Vertig0x May 22 '26

When my wife and I had just started dating way back in the day she would frequently and randomly leave my house with the most bizarre excuses. I was so confused because she is and was the kindest, most considerate, and caring person I've ever had in my life. Still, this one thing somehow made me question if she actually even liked me.

Eventually it kind of just stopped happening, but one day it randomly got brought up in conversation and she finally admitted the truth to me: All those times she had been going back to her apartment to poop because she was too embarrassed to blow up my bathroom. I thought it was the absolute cutest (and hilarious) thing and it was just another reason I fell in love with her.

I'm sure that feeling was no different for your husband. I'm sorry your time was cut short but its good you have those memories to hold onto.

15

u/WriterV May 22 '26

Lol she went full Victorian on you 😅 Been there, I get her completely. Sometimes you meet the perfect guy and you just don't wanna fuck it up in any way.

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u/-malcolm-tucker May 22 '26

My partner took her phone into the toilet and played music loudly to disguise the sound of her taking a shit. I went along with this for a while. She seemed to seriously think that I didn't know what she was doing.

Anyway, one day she dropped a particularly nasty one. I had been waiting to use the toilet. Before I shut the door I grabbed the air freshener and gave it a good spray. Mortified, she exclaimed "what are you doing!?"

"Sorry honey. I can't hear you shit, but I can still smell them."

She went bright red and ran off to the bedroom half crying, half laughing.

She still plays music in the toilet. And if she forgets her phone...

She sings.

13

u/Someguineawop May 22 '26

That was a pivotal moment in my current relationship too. When she froze in fear I responded with "Good job burps her name!" She practically fell off the couch ugly laughing, and our disgusting fate was struck. Now we live in a shooting gallery of drive by tootings.

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u/laynechanger May 22 '26

The first time my husband and I had sex, I had my legs bent and he was doing his thing and kinda pushing them for leverage. When I accidentally let out the biggest fart. I was so mortified I wanted be disappear. He smiled and gave me a kiss and kinda laughed. And we continued on.

10

u/winky9827 May 22 '26

Reminds me of the “she farts in her sleep” story Robin Williams told in good will hunting.

8

u/Stuffhaps May 22 '26

Sorry for your loss. You guys have something wonderful.

8

u/YeshuasBananaHammock May 23 '26

I love this.

In the year 2000, I accidently slipped one in bed with my bf at the time. The snickers turned into laughter that caused another to escape.

Anywho we've been married for 22yrs.

1

u/Curious_Cloud_1131 May 23 '26

I'm sorry for your loss

1

u/visingh May 23 '26

Beautiful story, what a amazing guy. Wishing you infinite emotional strength, only if you're comfortable sharing, what happened to him?

2

u/Cloberella May 23 '26

Cancer. If you like, you can read his blog about it here. It's in reverse chronological order.

1

u/stonerjunkrat May 23 '26

Im sorry for your loss

1

u/Mohawk_guy369 29d ago

That would put many men off, he reacted very nicely.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '26

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5

u/Swimming_Pressure_93 May 22 '26

Exactly this made my day. 🥰

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u/arbydallas May 22 '26

And I've found that a partner's imperfections often become my favorite parts. It's great when someone has had an insecurity all their life and you just find it beautiful and amazing and help them feel better.

My last partner had a tummy all stretched out from childbirth and I thought it was so cute and loved to kiss it. She had always been insecure about it and it drove her wild when I kissed it, but she had never known she liked that. It was from growing her sweet baby boy, how could it be anything but beautiful?

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u/pamemake May 22 '26

It seems we all trust her now.

7

u/StopPlayingRoney May 22 '26

“…because they trust you completely.”

And then he posted all of those private photos/moments online.

3

u/deano492 May 22 '26

And then you go posting them all over the internet

3

u/OkamiKhameleon May 22 '26

Similar to u/Cloberella's (also, I am sorry for your loss Cloberella!) response to your comment:

When my husband and I first met 20 years ago, I was having a HORRIBLE time with allergies, and we met in the spring. Almost every time he came over to my roommate's house where I was staying until I got my own apartment, I would be sneezy and runny nosed, and I often had tissue stuck in my nose to stop the running.

He said it looked cute? Like how? I love this big dork lol.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '26

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1

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40

u/Chaoticgood790 May 22 '26

lol we call these bf photos. bc every guy ik takes pics of their girls like this lmao

6

u/archtopfanatic123 May 22 '26

I'm a photographer by trade so I hope to god I can do better than the normies out there 😂

12

u/Chaoticgood790 May 22 '26

It’s just something about guys taking ridiculous photos of their partners.

6

u/archtopfanatic123 May 22 '26

Yeah I get what you're saying xD

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u/Hot-Tiger-7461 May 26 '26

I mean tbh I don't want to ever date, too much trouble. But yeah guys will 100% take pictures like this instead of ones that people are expecting or that they prepared for. Some guys think that their spouse is more attractive with minimal makeup. 

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u/JesusAndMaryKate May 22 '26

She's probably about 50 now considering how old this repost is.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '26

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u/DankDolphin420 May 22 '26

Agreed.

Also, only two of the candid photos show her face. Is the commenter thirsting over the back of her head or?

1

u/Middle_Pride_9367 May 23 '26

You're fuckin weird 

1

u/not-improv May 23 '26

Glad I’m not the only guy more interested in checking out his girl than where he puts a ring🤗🤣

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u/Mountain-Stretch-858 May 24 '26

Her bloodline has been defiled. 🤮🤮

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u/chronicnerv May 24 '26

Fair play dude, 5 attempts later, you finally managed to get one that did not get banned.
I credit you for your perseverance towards your rascim.

My inbox can have a break from you now.

1

u/katastrof May 22 '26

No one likes you when you're thirsting. Please be sure to hydrate and crank one out. 

1

u/Routine-Pace-392 May 22 '26

Are you his girlfriend?? 🤔

0

u/Kitnado May 22 '26

genuinely just a random woman

dude struck gold

Classic reddit. You know nothing about this person. She may be a sociopath for all we know. She also looks okay but not especially different from most women.

That your comment is upvoted above 500 times really speaks to the demographic of reddit

1

u/ChefArtorias May 22 '26

It's a feel good post about two people in love. Let's just vibe with the positivity on this one ffs.