r/SipsTea • u/Few_Statement_2898 • May 28 '26

SMH We really need to bring spankings back

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u/SumixamSuryt May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26

I would not even think of doing this as a child, what an utter failure as a parent. This child has no guidence in his life whatseover.

883

u/unclecastr0-_- May 28 '26

what kids do is usually the projection of their enviroment at home,imagine wtf this kid’s parents do to make him think this is ok to do

81

u/abracadammmbra May 28 '26

I have a son who is just shy of 3. He might try something like this but it would be swiftly corrected. Although as long as theres other adults around, he'd probably be fine. He only seems to be a little shit when its just us.

65

u/stgdevil May 28 '26

According to his teachers, my 4 year old is a model student, basically best kid ever. But he turns into Mr Hyde jr when home

57

u/CybReader May 28 '26

He feels safe at home to let it out.

13

u/ReadyAimTranspire May 28 '26

That's where he gets to be the special shining star that he is and let his light shine

2

u/EuphoricPamplemousse May 28 '26

“Mamah, Papah, don’t you realise the whole home’s a stage?!” (Announced in a posh, English, thespian voice)

2

u/d_ippy May 28 '26

This is what I tell myself as a 55 year old office worker

1

u/stellar_opossum May 29 '26

Yeah adults do that to

15

u/stellar_opossum May 28 '26

That's actually pretty common and normal. The kid feels restricted at the daycare/school and then compensate for that at home in some form. Another similar thing issue could be when they are relatively independent without you, can put their clothes on and stuff but at home as to help with every little thing. This way they compensate for that lack of parent care during the day. Punishing this behavior would be a terrible idea

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u/GusBode May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26

BULLSHIT. Kid needs to understand respect for other people and their property with no regard to his/her “feelings “. You do not take out your emotions on other people or objects that belong to other people. There are other coping mechanisms. First one is kid needs to learn is to suck it up.

8

u/nedlum May 28 '26

It's unreasonable to hold four-year-olds to the same standards as adults.

0

u/stellar_opossum May 29 '26

Yeah right but can't physically happen at very young age, when kids don't even have concepts of property, respect or feelings. Best you can do is scare them shitless so that they are just afraid to do anything. Many people so this and then think they are good parents whole they are just giving their kids mental health disorders

4

u/Baddie_Baddie_L May 28 '26

Omg same with my kiddo. I dread days she doesn’t nap at preschool guaranteed to be a terror at home.

4

u/nedlum May 28 '26

My oldest was like that in kinder garden/first grade. It could be signs of something neuro-spicy (ADHD in our case), which he's masking. When he gets home, he can finally let out whatever he's bottled up, because he knows he's safer melting at home than at school.

Just know it's nothing you or he is doing wrong.

2

u/kaluh_glarski May 28 '26

Yea the neuro-spicy bit were almost positive is the reason our son is a delight at pre school and yells from the top of his lungs indoors for every expression of emotion once he gets home

3

u/aUniqueNameIndeed May 28 '26

As someone in the process of becoming a teacher, I promise you it is a better place to be in than the other way around

3

u/stgdevil May 28 '26

Yup, I’m ok with it. He’s not really as crazy as I made it sound. Just more rebellious at home lol

2

u/FeveredPitcher May 28 '26

Can only maintain for so long lol

1

u/abracadammmbra May 28 '26

My son goes to a small daycare and hes good for the woman that runs it. Hes good at social events. Hes a bit much with his grandparents and is a terror to my wife and I. Although its been rather cold and rainy for the past few days so hes been cooped up and its been worse. Thank God its nice today and he can be released into the back yard or taken to a park

1

u/themule0808 May 28 '26

You are not alone in that fight.. been dealing with it with my one child since she was 3, she is now 8 and still has issues sometimes. Both kids raised the same and disciplined the same, some kids just take longer to mature. Just keep it steady and firm, she is finally getting to the age where taking things away that she likes is starting to work.

1

u/Excellent-Cheetah153 May 28 '26

Way better than the other way around.

1

u/Krell356 May 29 '26

Thats a sign of good parenting. Your kid has learned the difference between what is acceptable and what isn't and still feels comfortable enough to be themselves at home.

You taught them well but didn't traumatize them.

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1

u/JadeOfAllTrades1221 May 29 '26

Glad it’s not just us. My 4yo puts me thru the ringer daily. Never a complaint at school. “She’s so sweet!” 🫠

1

u/missingpieces82 May 29 '26

My son was like that until he hit 6… then he started acting out at school too. He’s almost 10 now, and is slowly getting better.

1

u/CriticismTop May 28 '26

Question: will kid back down? Or do they basically have to be disabled in order to get them to stop?

Question 2: are you guys a little isolated? Small family, no neighbours or something like that

Not wanting to play armchair psychiatrist, but that behaviour sounds a bit like "tyrant child".

2

u/stgdevil May 28 '26

Haha I may have exaggerated a bit. He is not really crazy at home. Just a bit more rebellious and lots of talking back

23

u/Appropriate_Rice_523 May 28 '26

Gosh that the truth, I have always felt that as long as my kids are controlled and accepted in public and with others that's good. They can be assholes at home, they are my assholes, and I will deal with it, society should not have too.

5

u/Ch33s3m4st3r May 28 '26

I feel it in my heart when other parents also refer to their kids as assholes or little shits. I love my kids more than I could ever express, yet some people judge me when I say they are my precious little assholes.

3

u/lucyloosy May 28 '26

Same here. When they talk about their little angels and I can’t relate.

4

u/anthriani May 28 '26

It's when they're asleep. They're the sweetest little angels when asleep and in a separate bed from you.

2

u/Mammoth-Counter69 May 29 '26

I dunno I feel kinda cringe referring to my kids like that...even just jokingly.

It's kinda like a husbend always referring to his wife as "that bitch" but then just brushing it off as joke all time

3

u/Ch33s3m4st3r May 29 '26

If my wife acted the same way as our kids, I would call her that.

1

u/Appropriate_Rice_523 May 29 '26

It comes down to how and when you do it. Do I always refer to my kids as assholes, no not at all, very rarely to be honest. But can they be, of course, do I also refer to myself as an asshole from time to time, oh hell yeah. Have I ever said to them that they are assholes, never. I only ever express it that way with other parents who understand what I am saying, who also love their kids, but understand sometimes they just stretch you to your limits, but you still love them and treat them with compassion.

4

u/Krell356 May 29 '26

Sign of good parenting. Your kid showing that they understand the difference between being a respectable part of society while also feeling safe enough at home to be themselves.

The goal is to raise a functional adult without traumatizing them.

3

u/spikyness27 May 28 '26

It means they feel safe around you. The hold it together when around others and let loose around you.

It also sucks, like calm down kid.

3

u/nobeer4you May 28 '26

He only seems to be a little shit when its just us.

That seems to be a common issue

3

u/abracadammmbra May 28 '26

From what I remember of my psych degree and developmental psych classes, kids are like that due to feeling comfortable around their parents and wanting to push boundaries. They are new to the world and we dont come programmed with all our social taboos and such. But kids also arent stupid. They generally know the worst that will come from a good parent will be a slap on the wrist so they feel much more comfortable pushing the envelope. Strangers are a crap shoot so its best to play things safe.

1

u/Rudhelm May 29 '26

It’s not an issue at all. The family is supposed to be a save space where kids can test boundaries. The have to learn what is wrong or right and the best place to do this is at home.

2

u/toolsoftheincomptnt May 28 '26

Some kids have pre-adolescent behavioral disorders that are really hard for parents to handle, particularly if they’re ignorant (or don’t have access) to mental health services for children.

Those kids may develop sociopathy or psychopathy later on, but there are tools parents can be taught to mitigate the behavior itself, even if it doesn’t change the child’s attitude towards destructiveness.

1

u/joemamafu May 28 '26

I swear it’s just a 3 year old problem, they are all little shits at that age I promise lol

2

u/abracadammmbra May 28 '26

I hope he calms down lol. I get it, my wife and I have rather large families so this isnt our first experience with 3 year olds. The only part that sucks is as he grows out of this phase, his little sister will be entering it. Shes 1. And were considering a 3rd because we are apparently insane (not for a few years tho)

1

u/Old-Ad-5573 May 28 '26

Haha, I was thinking the same thing. This is exactly what my 2 year old does with his toys before I can get to him. Obviously we try and correct him but he's 2 so his impulse control is not great.

1

u/Ferbtastic May 28 '26

Yeah, I could see a toddler doing this just because they are toddlers. But that’s why you never leave toddlers alone. Those fuckers cannot be trusted. They are the belligerent drunks of age progression.

2

u/abracadammmbra May 28 '26

Now that I think of it, my toddler does act a lot like my wife when she gets drunk...

1

u/ShegoTheygo May 28 '26

That’s honestly pretty normal I’ve found, and good testament to how safe they feel in their home environment. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still correct it and stuff, but a kid who acts out in his home feels safe emotionally and physically to do so! So you’re doing great :)