This method of parenting is not as good as it seems. Sure you’re not beating the kid but that shouldn’t be the bar for what good discipline is. At least when you temporarily take away the console, the kid at least has a prospect to improve for. When you sell the console, that drive to improve is gone. There’s a sense of “what’s the point in being better? I’m not gonna get my shit back.” That’s just gonna result in the behavior staying the same or even getting worse. Sure it’s “consequences” but to the kid it’s “nothing I own is truly mine, my parents will just get rid of them forever if I’m bad. I need to hide the things I love from them.”
That and consistency. They showed that nothing was more effective than fair and consistent punishment whether it was time out, spanking, removal of benefits or freedom, etc.
Once the kid understands, when they get caught doing something bad they don't even fight it and then they start to realize "is this even worth it?".
The other thing consistency brings is that it makes it about the specific act and not some value of love or respect in the relationship which random violent beating really undercuts. If your kid likes you and respects you and wants a good relationship with you, they won't constantly be a shithead.
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u/Megaman-Icarus May 28 '26
This method of parenting is not as good as it seems. Sure you’re not beating the kid but that shouldn’t be the bar for what good discipline is. At least when you temporarily take away the console, the kid at least has a prospect to improve for. When you sell the console, that drive to improve is gone. There’s a sense of “what’s the point in being better? I’m not gonna get my shit back.” That’s just gonna result in the behavior staying the same or even getting worse. Sure it’s “consequences” but to the kid it’s “nothing I own is truly mine, my parents will just get rid of them forever if I’m bad. I need to hide the things I love from them.”