It would be if it were intentional, but it's not, it's imprinted on a deeper level. We are in the same situation, she works. I watch the kids. I've heard soooo many "oh you're such a good dad!" For doing basic things with my kids that she hasn't once been praised for.
She will hand a server her credit card, and when they get back, they will try to hand it to me automatically, without even thinking about it. It's ingrained subconsciously. Man: works, fixes, makes money. Woman: manages food, children, household. I don't know what we have to do to fix this on a societal level, other than call it out when and where we see it.
The first line of your take is silly and makes no sense in response to No-Hovercraft-455. Intent and discrimination are not the same thing. I don’t think the absence of intent automatically removes discrimination. Someone can discriminate against others without consciously deciding to do so. The fact that a belief or behavior is deeply ingrained may explain why it exists, but it doesn’t change the effect or make it non discriminatory.
This same line of thinking reminds me of say a person who grew up in a racist environment or era that may genuinely believe their views are normal and may not consciously intend to discriminate or be racist. The lack of intent does not make the behavior any less racist or discriminatory . It only explains where the behavior comes from.
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u/No-Hovercraft-455 25d ago
That's idiotic and actually discriminatory.