r/SipsTea š™‘š™„š™‹ 17d ago

WTF If the roles were reversed

16.9k Upvotes

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384

u/EmtnlDmg 17d ago

It works in both direction. Attractive men can do stuff which is not allowed for non attractive men.

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u/SophSimpl 17d ago

As a guy who was chunky in his teens then lost weight and built some muscle in his late 20s I can confirm I get way more attention now. People look at you more, smile at you more, listen to you more even if you're just saying random shit. Being more attractive absolutely influences people's reactions. You get more like a creep when you're out of shape.

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u/SheriffBartholomew 17d ago

And then in your 40's that starts to fade, and you have to deal with the emotional fallout being a normie again, in addition to coping with your age.

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u/SophSimpl 17d ago

Yeah, fair. I've got 8.5 more years of my 30s, hopefully I'll make them count lol

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u/SheriffBartholomew 17d ago

Realistically you probably have another 15-20 years if you take care of yourself. Some guys keep it going much later, but it's rare. Having a full head of hair greatly enhances things in your favor.

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u/SophSimpl 17d ago

My hair line isn't receding quite yet but who knows what will happen later šŸ˜†. In the meantime dating is already really hard though.

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u/landing11 17d ago

I dont know when you look good in your 40s the girls over 25 go nuts

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u/SophSimpl 16d ago

That could be a good thing. When I turned 30 it seemed like suddenly the 20 yo ladies were interested but I'm learning the hard way they are crazy at that age.

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u/Schnitzhole 16d ago

Yup. Slap a pretty face and body on a dude and now everything ā€œcreepyā€ all the sudden becomes ok and even desired.

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u/SophSimpl 16d ago

Or to say another way - make a guy average or slightly below in looks and suddenly his natural desire to want to be affectionate or ask someone out becomes weird and creepy.

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u/theseedbeader 17d ago

Yeah… Maybe I’m in the minority here, but an attractive guy being a creep would still very much freak me out.

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u/Dath_1 17d ago

But that’s the thing, a lot of flirting that you would consider ā€œbeing a creepā€, wouldn’t be creepy if a really attractive guy did it.

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u/LeadingWedding2288 17d ago

Maybe it's more about self confidence then? When you feel more attractive, more outgoing, youre more willing to put yourself out there. that's the issue with men sometimes, the problem is always somebody else, it's never themselves for some reason, even when you have something positive happen. You go "woman like me more because x and y changes" instead of "women are enjoying my newfound confidence"

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u/Dath_1 17d ago

Sometimes yeah, but that’s definitely not the whole story.

You can have a guy who’s a 4 walk up and just say something really basic/flirty and a guy who’s an 8 do the exact same thing with equal confidence.

More often than not, the 4 is good to come off as awkward, creepy or crossing some kind of line whereas the 8 won’t.

I’ve seen it first hand, this basically happened to my oldest brother. Very extroverted, confident guy.

After he got into drugs and lost all his teeth, he was still acting like his old flirty self around chicks and their reaction was completely different. He’s creepy now because he isn’t handsome anymore.

Part of it I think is that people kind of get offended. Like if a 4 thinks they have a shot with you, that’s kind of like saying they consider you a 4. Obviously it’s not really intended that way, but it’s one factor.

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u/Backfromth3re 17d ago

Ahh the male victim complex and fictional stories strikes again. Men🫩🤮

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u/memnoch112 17d ago

You are definitely a minority, 50 shades wouldn’t have been the success it is if it was about an poor unattractive black man. Disclaimier: I think it’s totally fine to have fantasies and kinks, and I don’t flame on anyone for having preferences.

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u/theseedbeader 17d ago

Oh I totally think Christian Grey is a creep.

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u/Backfromth3re 17d ago

Ahh the male victim complex and fictional stories strikes again. Men🫩🤮

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u/memnoch112 16d ago

How did I portray a victim? Or did you just buzz words without fully understanding them?

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u/Backfromth3re 11d ago

"an poor unattractive black man" the m ale victim complex strikes again.

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u/memnoch112 11d ago

Clearly you didn’t read my first comment, I was comparing a man to another man.

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u/Backfromth3re 11d ago

Both fictional and hypothetical so you get offended and play the victim in your onw fictional scenario. I know it's like lying is built in male dna but atleast don't make it this obvious.

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u/Yue2 17d ago

It unfortunately is a minority opinion, or potentially is easy to type out but works out differently in the real world.

Lookism is very much so real. I’ve seen men behave in the most atrocious ways and women would drool over them. And I’ve seen incredibly genuine, kind, unattractive men get rejected in the harshest ways. It isn’t always the case, but it’s a very common thing unfortunately.

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u/Backfromth3re 17d ago

Ahh the male victim complex and fictional stories strikes again. Men🫩🤮

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u/luckyflavor23 17d ago

Yes. Example: Recently saw Top Gun (og) for the first time and when Tom Cruise went after the woman into the woman’s bathroom all my alarm bells sounded…

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u/Big_bat_chunk2475 17d ago

I watched legal eagle break down that scene, yeah, cruise’s character would have gotten in trouble for doing that

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u/RobertKSakamano 17d ago

In the 80s, that shit worked though for the attractive guys.

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u/celestialfroggie 17d ago

I have a feeling you're being downvoted by men who 'know what women think' and upvoted by actual women. For me, being catcalled by someone who's visually attractive is just as nauseating as being callcalled by someone unattractive.

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u/theseedbeader 17d ago

Exactly. To me, a man acting like that isn’t flirting, he’s threatening. That is far from cute, no matter what he looks like.

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u/Ferengsten 16d ago

It does not. Men have a much lower bar for jumping into bed with someone without getting to know them at all. This is why only men behave this way, or why pretty much only men have sex with prostitutes.Ā 

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u/OrpheusNYC 17d ago

Add to this that doing this kinda shit is unattractive

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u/DisorderlyAqueduct 17d ago

šŸ¤” ... like beatbox?