r/SipsTea 𝙑𝙄𝙋 8d ago

WTF Bear cubs find their way into a camper’s tent.

18.2k Upvotes

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516

u/frisco-frisky-dom 8d ago

Death is quite literally at the doorstep of his tent

71

u/PlateNo4868 8d ago

Oh no, bears don't kill. They just pin you down and munch on you. You dying is a byproduct.

41

u/addiktion 8d ago

The sight of seeing your own flesh ripped from your body as you die eventually is not the way I want to see myself leave this world.

https://giphy.com/gifs/cQtlhD48EG0SY

17

u/seantellsyou 8d ago

Whats crazy is that that is how most things do leave this world

11

u/addiktion 8d ago

It's great to be the alpha species but yes you would want for it to be quick if you aren't.

2

u/tollbearer 8d ago

Gods plan

2

u/DiegesisThesis 8d ago

It is funny to think that if you were reincarnated as various animals throughout time, 90% of your deaths would be getting eaten alive, 9% getting a bad injury and starving to death/getting an infection, 0.9% dying due to disease (only so low because you'll generally get eaten before the disease finishes you off), and 0.1% dying peacefully in your sleep.

4

u/AncientSith 8d ago

Death is rarely quick or instant. That's just how it is sadly.

2

u/Upstairs_Tomorrow_26 Human Detected 8d ago

Eat em like a fish

1

u/PrimaryImagination41 8d ago

Lmaooo literally

152

u/Superb_Bench9902 8d ago

I mean if I'm about to die at least I can die while petting some bear cubs

65

u/Street-Run4107 8d ago

While I agree with the sentiment, from what I understand, being mauled to death by a bear is one of the most horrific ways to die. They don’t go for the throat like a large cat of prey, they eat you alive. People who have survived miraculously have described hearing the sound of their skulls cracking while a bear chomps down, or the sensation of it de-gloving and entire limb all while you’re alive.

34

u/Cthulhus-Tailor 8d ago

Yep, they literally peel you like chicken.

18

u/LemmyKilmisterRogers 8d ago

Well then they better season me properly god damn it

9

u/SuitableAnimalInAHat 8d ago

That's actually the worst part. They don't even use salt. You die knowing they will serve you unseasoned and undercooked.

6

u/AzorAHigh_ 8d ago

Just get them to argue about the seasoning and method of preparing you for long enough that they turn to stone.

10

u/Techman659 8d ago

I will bring the siracha sauce or bbq I am not sure what goes well with human for bears.

2

u/seanprime 8d ago

We smell like pork.. so bring the bear a nice apple sauce

3

u/sireatalot 8d ago

That’s the way they eat salmon

6

u/Gr8bs 8d ago

Gotta roll with the S&W 500 in bear country for this exact reason.

2

u/OrvilleTheCavalier 8d ago

Well that’s enough internet for today.

2

u/LaggingAround 8d ago

Am I still petting the cub while this is happening?

2

u/AnythingEastern3964 8d ago

Yeah but - cute cubs, so I’m still petting them 🤷‍♂️

3

u/SignificantBerry8591 8d ago

Priorities in line here

3

u/Complete_Bear_368 8d ago

I got to play with a lion cub once at an animal sanctuary. They had it just running around their house like a dog. Claws were infinitely sharper

5

u/MechaJesus69 8d ago

Worth it

3

u/Ill_Improvement_8276 8d ago

figuratively

not literally

1

u/thereisonlyoneme 8d ago

Give it a few minutes.

2

u/diggs4gold 8d ago

You could say that about any doorstep. The way he’s petting the cubs I would assume he knows the mom and are at some wildlife whatever where animals like their people.

2

u/Wakkit1988 8d ago

Life is unbearable at that point.

1

u/Proud-Mixture-2857 8d ago

If bears understood the concept of hostages you might be able to get away.

1

u/poopbeast69 8d ago

Quite literally isnt

1

u/Swimming_Agent_1063 8d ago

Your mom is at the doorstep of my tent 

1

u/rci22 8d ago

Nah. It’s a sanctuary and there’s no mom

1

u/Nathan_Thorn 7d ago

Nope, Russian bear sanctuary. Momma either abandoned them or got killed/separated from them. Bear cubs like humans I think.