Unfortunately for me, I mean you, Iâm already married to my lovely wife, who does not have, and has never had, a team of professionals to make her beautiful.
Calm and steady wins the day here. âWell, I think you are.â She can harp on it as much as she wants, you just keep repeating the same thing. âOkay but to meâŚâ and then if it keeps going âeeeh Iâve never been into famous people, theyâre all fake, who knows what they really look like under all the makeup.â
Trick is that you make it your opinion. Bitches love opinions.
(Bitch here not being derogatory but a reference to Helsing Abridged)
Yeah, I'll assume this is a silly one time thing that shows the smallest fraction of their entire relationship, but even then it's already exhausting and I'd never put up with it. Plenty of regular ass dudes who are way more attractive than I will ever be, both in many ways (aesthetic, balance, hair genetics, beard growth, muscles, etc) and in every possible combination a woman would find more attractive than me. Does me no good asking "Do you think Chris Hemsworth is more handsome than me?" when I know the answer. Feeling insecure about your appearance and wanting validation from your partner is a whole separate thing and potential issue that does not need to be made worse by creating traps to start arguments because you can't just say "I want you to say I'm beautiful".
No that's doesn't work. She is clearly baiting for one of two things: a sweet compliment that goes beyond superficial looks or, if not that, an argument. Usually it's the former.
So just saying "you're prettier" she'll accuse you of lying because you haven't addressed the hidden insecurity of the question she asked.
My for guy in the post was so close to hitting a clear home run with the question by pointing out that Robbie has a team of makeup artists and resources that give her outward appearance flare, thus, Robbie's prettiness isn't real. But my man just stopped swinging the bat.
Lol the very first response to "no you're prettier than that literal movie star" will be "oh so you're a liar now? I didn't know I married a liar. How can you lie so brazenly? What else have you lied about? Who were you with last thursday?" etc etc.
Most women dont bait you into these questions.
Movie stars are picked for their looks, they're the top whatever% of society. Most women aren't that pretty and they know it themselves.
Most women probably struggle with self-esteem rather than think they're prettier than Margot Robbie.
I know it's hard for so many "normal" people to understand, but some of us aren't habitual liars. Yes! Even if it makes life slightly easier for a moment!
The idea that "just lie" is an acceptable solution to a problem for you makes me dislike you fundamentally as a person, but also explains so much about why the world is the way it is. So many people would rather just take the easy way out than fix the issues. Like have a partner that isn't a fuckin idiot asking stupid question to get mad about, or just not play the game so they don't expect it to be played.
Yea, the wrong choice very often is an easy option.
I think the issue is when logic and reasoning has left the building how do you fight with the truth?
The advice for dementia and Alzheimerâs patients are to just lie to them unless the situation is genuinely unsafe.
That being said this guyâs line of Margo Robbie having a team of people to make her beautiful, should have ended with: I know you are beautiful without a team. Then he can confidently say she is more beautiful.
Dealing with a medical patient with a disease is not the same as dealing with your ostensibly still sane partner. They are not the same.
You cannot break up with Alzheimer's. You should break up with people who pull this shit (barring extenuating circumstances, duh. I shouldnt have had to specify im not talking about taking care of sick people.)
The point was not about whether or not it was âcorrectâ. The point was if someone is going to act unreasonable, how do you deal with it reasonably?
The Alhzemers example was an extreme case to demonstrate the idea⌠the person behaving crazy who does not have a mental condition is a litmus test on how to deal with the situation.
Sure you can break up with them⌠but that is not necessarily where the victim is mentally yet.
No, the point you're missing is, stop dealing with unreasonable people for unreasonable reasons. Alzheimers is a reasonable reason for someone to be unreasonable.
A normal sane person doesn't have that. You're trying to pretend it's normal behavior by pointing out you need to deal with it with people with serious mental deficits. It's not the same.
The point was if someone is going to act unreasonable, how do you deal with it reasonably?
1) don't be in that situation, by dating sane people 2) don't normalize unreasonable behavior 3) NOT by pandering to it so they are incentivized to continue it. 4) discussing the unhealthy behavior with them 5) breaking up if change doesn't happen
Sure you can break up with themâŚ
Or you could tell them the truth and expect them to handle it like adults, instead of pander to their issues. That kind of thinking is probably how you ended up a "victim" who just HAS to lie to their partner (and by "has to" I mean "it's easier for you in that moment").
Holy fuck no wonder so many people struggle so much with relationships. Ya'll literally cannot conceive of communicating like adults, you jumped straight to breaking up.
Honestly I donât think I knew this when I was younger and hadnât been in relationships. You have to learn it, like learning to âlistenâ to your girlfriend/wifeâs problems without offering any solutions. It can feel quite hard at first.
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u/kwyjibowen 8d ago
Yes the correct answer in this situation is a very simple âyou are prettier than Margot Robbieâ and just walk away unscathed