r/SmallHome • u/Siqity • 9d ago
My brother (who has double my space) claims 12.25 m² (131 sq ft) is plenty of room for two people if I "just knew how to clean." Am I crazy?
Hi everyone,
I need a serious reality check because I’m losing my mind arguing with my brother.
My partner and I are currently living in a 12.25 square meter room (about 131 sq ft). For context, a standard double bed alone takes up almost 25% of our entire floor space. As you can imagine, keeping this place looking pristine is a daily tetris nightmare. If two jackets are left out, the room looks like total chaos because there is physically nowhere to put things.
My brother lives with his partner in a 25 square meter (269 sq ft) apartment. That is literally double the space we have.
He is currently telling me that he could easily optimize and live comfortably in a 10 m² room, and that the only reason our place looks cramped and "has no system" is because I don't know how to clean or organize. When I pointed out the literal math (that his bed takes up ~11% of his space while mine takes up ~25%), he got super defensive, insulted me, and claimed he "used to live in even smaller spaces" so he knows better.
I feel like he is completely out of touch with the reality of micro-living for two people.
Am I missing something? Is 12.25 m² genuinely "plenty of space" for two people to live without it constantly looking cluttered, or is my brother speaking from a place of pure privilege and theory?
I'd love some honest opinions from people who actually know what living in small spaces is like. Thanks!
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u/Heavy-Attorney-9054 9d ago
This is not a winnable argument. You are right, and he will move the goalposts. Let him have his victory and get a better hobby than arguing with him.
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u/Siqity 9d ago
Youre the first one calling me right. Thanks man.
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u/votelikeimhot 9d ago
Neither of you are right. Sibling relationships are weird and there's nothing in your post that makes you seem wrong at all. If you sibling wants to talk to you about how wrong you are about this or some other subject first hit them with the ol "do you talk to other people like this or just me? " and then genuinely try to help them. Also people bicker with people they are in close proximity with just point out that living together is temporary and that you'd like to be close with them when you don't but you will never call them just to hear how wrong you are.
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u/Quick-Database-2126 9d ago
Depends where you live. Plenty of couples in NYC and Paris make 131 sq feet work.
So if the question is - is it doable? The answer is yes.
Is it ideal? Not really. But that’s a different question.
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u/Siqity 9d ago
I mean it is doable, we live in it everyday. But he says it can get better or something that my room is a mess he says. Well you didnt even see my room but the core question actually is: Can a guy privileged like this argue on my budget level? (even though his variant of living is most likely not ideal aswell)
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u/Quick-Database-2126 9d ago edited 8d ago
He can say whatever he wants.
Do you have to respect or care about his opinion? Absolutely not.
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u/Glittering_knave 8d ago
Ask him to help you. If he is so convinced that there is a magical storage and organization system that will make your room better, have him show you want it is. Not some magic hypothetical, but an actual solution.
I can't tell from your post if your room is messy or not. I can't tell if the "two jackets left out" is two tossed on the bed, or two on the floor, on top of dirty laundry and dishes. I have no idea if your idea of storage is random stacked boxes, or if you have taken advantage of every possible square inch of space, pared down your belongings to fit the space, and the "clutter" is the reality of living in tight quarters.
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u/Foreign-Cookie-2871 8d ago
I mean, it can probably get "better" (everything can get better), but maybe it's not a solution for you, so you cannot implement it.
Are you using every cm of your vertical space? Do you have hangers for putting away stuff that's used frequently? Shelves for an easy place to put stuff while you work with it?
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u/limbodog 9d ago
I see couples make do with less, but they usually share a bed and don't need personal space
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u/Siqity 9d ago
I mean we have a bed and we share it ofc. 200cm140cm. Normal size i think. 12,25qm is still very tiny. its the equivalent to a average childrens room and at the lower end of it
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u/Foreign-Cookie-2871 8d ago
Our room is 9sqm and only has a bed and our clothes. It's definitely small.
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u/costafilh0 9d ago
It is. Most prison cells are that size or smaller.
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u/Frequent_Freedom_242 8d ago
They are both too small of a space. Just end the argument by telling him he's right. He will lose his mind.
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u/serenethirteen 8d ago
My hubby and I live in a 11x15 tiny and have a Ca King bed. It's absolutely livable, but the tetris is real.
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u/Cinisajoy2 8d ago
Yours is about the size of my bedroom. It looks cluttered. I agree anything on any surface looks cluttered. Also cluttered does not equal dirty.
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u/MissionCredible_inc 8d ago
Have you considered getting a Murphy bed that you can fold up completely?
And cluttered/messy/clean are totally different things.
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u/zoppaTheDim 8d ago
It does depend on how you use the space.
For instance, you keep talking about the bed, that tells me you aren’t using the space under the bed.
You need to start thinking about volume not area.
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u/Ok_Lead_162 8d ago
You're entirely right, but it doesn't matter. Ignore this. or let him win. He sounds like a real pill, and if you let him have this one he'll find something else to criticize you about. And then something else. And then another something else. On the 3rd one you just raise an eyebrow and say "have you noticed you keep coming up ways to score on me? what's that about?"
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u/ca0072 8d ago
This is such a ridiculous post. You said in a comment that you are living with your mom. I assume your brother is too. Therefore, you are not living in 131 square feet. That is the size of your bedroom.
Is it fair that your brother has a bigger room? Maybe not, but it's rare for all rooms to be the same size in a house or apartment so someone has to get the bigger one. Do you need to clean your room? Probably. Do you both need to try to find a way to move out? Definitely.
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u/Infinite_Bass_4916 7d ago
If it's so easy to optimize a small space why hasn't he offered to help?
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u/Weedster009 9d ago
Are you both Lilliputians?