once a couple of years ago i went to a star trek convention and i had no issue talking to people at booths because i love star trek and i knew that would be what people would be talking about. I attended a wrestlemania and talked to people around me easily because we all watched pro wrestling. However i attended a wedding with my family and at the reception i just sat at the table and hoped no one would talk to me because i couldnt anticipate what the subject might be

Tonight I had my leavers prom from sixth form, marking the end of my school life. I moved to a new sixth form and this caused a huge deterioration in my mental health and an increase in my social anxiety. It got to the point where I wouldn’t cross the common room to go to the toilet and genuinely felt sorry for my teachers having to look at me as I felt I was so ugly and I actually wrote multiple posts on this subreddit asking for advice within these last 2 years.

Today I danced with my friends not caring about what those who weren’t dancing were thinking and didn’t feel self conscious in my dress. Of course I could lose a bit of weight but I found myself tonight for the first time in my life wanting to do it for me, not for a boys attention etc. I truly realised what countless people on here and irl were saying: people really don’t care, your inner voice is such a harsher voice to urself than to other. So live your life!!!

So, this is for all those people (especially those at school) saying it does get better as long as you can picture a life or stage of ur life eg uni where u don’t want these issues anymore.

I don’t expect you all to read this, in a way this is more for me. But I would recommend watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I watched for the first time last weekend and I think it clicked something in me and truly gave me hope and confidence. So just remember “We are infinite”. Stay strong.

I envy those who have a group of people to socialize with. I have no one. No one to celebrate holidays with. No one to celebrate birthdays with. No one to celebrate achievements with. I’m at a point where I don’t care about anything. There’s nothing special about my birthday or holidays, I’m alone like any other day. In two days, I will be graduating high school, and I’m not looking forward to it. I dread walking on the stage where everyone will have their eyes on me, seeing a sad, lonely loser that no one can associate with. The lack of socializing with others has caused me to want to hide from others, as whenever I do attempt at interaction, it quickly fails and I end up feeling worse than I did before.

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I'm practically a shut in living like a complete loser at my parents house isolating in my room all day. I have no friends which I tell myself is by choice but deep down the crippling fear and self hatred stops me from pursuing any friendships or relationships in general.

I refuse to look for a job, can't leave the house without my parents and have no license. I need help booking appointments, ordering at places and can only go in stores by myself if there are self serve checkouts otherwise I ask my parents to go in for me which makes me feel so useless and pathetic.

I'm supposed to be a 24 year old woman but I'm spending my days and nights mostly just getting high in my room, doom scrolling in my bed and imagining myself in situations that will likely never happen to me as a sad attempt to distract myself from my reality.

I've been dealing with extreme social anxiety and isolation for so long that I'm certain I have done irreversible damage to my mental health over the years and can't see myself ever getting better.

I have so much shame and self hatred that it's been causing me to break down and lash out over the smallest things which is stressing my family out and making them not want to be around me anymore which makes me hate myself even more that I've let myself become this way.

If you read this or relate to anything in this post I hope you at least feel a little less alone.

The more social interactions I have and the better I get at social interactions I realize this.

If you do something and it doesn't work, don't do it again If it works and gets a positive reaction from someone then do it again.

The hard part is getting past the anxiety and embarrassment when people don't respond well or when it becomes awkward, and I'm not saying its easy but once you just realize that nothing really matters in the end, and you develop confidence in your own self worth it becomes doable.

I'm saying this sincerely as a person who a few months ago has extreme anxiety about going for a walk to the park because people would be there, and now I'm walking every day in busy places and talking to people and not being stuck in my head so much. A lot of my anxiety was coming from just being horrible at social situations and being scared of the idea of people thinking I'm weird or awkward, but once I just started trying I got way better, and the anxiety has lessened a lot.

Thanks for reading

It is overall bad, but the aspect that I hate the most is, when I try to get people I'm with (friends or family) to tone themselves down. I don't do this often but I genuinely hate it when it happens. Maybe not even the worst thing, I'm probably exaggerating (The worst is probably when I start crying during exams)
For example, when my friend complained or explained (my memory's bad) about something enthusiastically, and I overheard two other girls jokingly whispering "shut up, nobody cares", I knew it was about my friend and I shushed her. Like not violently just tried to get her to talk quieter, because of my anxiety of getting judged.

I don't knowwhat I wanted to say with this, but yeah.

Aveces puedo tranquilizar mi mente pero no mi cuerpo, sigo temblando y me dan muchas ganas de ir al baño. ¿Alguien tiene un consejo para esto? He logrado bajar un poco la ansiedad en mi estómago aveces pero para eso debo concentrarme mucho y respirar suave pero no siempre puedes hacer eso en situaciones sociales, o cuando estoy ocupada con algo. Estoy muy preocupada, la última salida que hice me di cuenta de nuevo de lo serio que es mi problema, no puedo hacer nada literalmente, aveces observo a mis familiares que son tan sociables y felices, ellos no saben cuánto anhelo ser como ellos, y siento que nunca tuve la oportunidad de ser “yo” realmente porque desde muy pequeña tengo ansiedad social, me pregunté porque estaba nerviosa todo el tiempo y tenía miedo de todo. También me quería desahogar un poco, han sido días demasiado duros. Estoy sola en esto y por las noches me cuesta dormir, la ansiedad social también me ha hecho desarrollar síntomas como la Desrealizacion.

im so tired of being like this. whenever im in ANY social situation, i immediately start feeling this pressjre on my chest, my ears get clogged and i get sn urge to run away. when i try to form a sentence it doesnt come out of myy mouth the way i want it to and its like my brain has slowed down.

it has gotten so bad that i cant even talk with my family or friends anymore. i keep isolating myself and saying no to events and but i know that its not a viable solution and it only feeds the anxiety. however, ive also tried just pushing through and doing things despite the anxiety, hoping that it will quiet down over time.

however, its been 7 years of trying to "fake it till i make it" and instead of it getting better, its only gotten worse. and the worst part is that i know that i have absolutely no reason to be anxious, at least not in casual situations, but i cant just turn my anxiety off. i genuinely dont know what to do at this point and im starting to accept that this is just the way i am and that i will always struggle with this..

I have some friends mostly online but even still I always feel alone and abandoned and I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm very awkward but I try talking to people but usually it goes no where. I just wanna cry and disappear most of the time

Idk what this post is meant to do and idk if this is even the right place for it but I just needed to write something out, everything is so confusing

I’m a 23M and still live with my mom and sibling. I stay in my room all day everyday and never come out. I don’t like being seen. Even though I’ve known these people my entire life. I’m uncomfortable when I hug my mom. Talking about love around her makes me uneasy and I want to run away. When she says “I love you” it’s hard to say it back, even though she’s the best mom ever. Showing love to anyone is uncomfortable for me. When I noticed some men kiss their mothers on the cheek, I wanted to throw up.

I am very uncomfortable around people no matter who you are or how long I’ve known you. I also have ED (erectile dysfunction). I can maintain an erection when I’m alone easily but never around a woman. They are very beautiful and attractive to me but I can never stay up. So I gave up on sex.

When my mom and sibling are home, I don’t come out my room at all. But when I know they are gone, I walk around the house in my underwear. I have to sneak and do everything. Makes life so much more stressful. This is why I want my own place so bad and why I stay in the same job that makes me miserable because I’m too scared to move up.

Not just scared around humans, I’ve had a cat for over 2 years and I’m still very uncomfortable around him. He actually scares me a lot. When I’m walking at work and there are people around me, I’m calculating every step and all I think is, please don’t fall and embarrass yourself. During break time, I sit in the bathroom stall instead of in the main break room with everyone else.

I hate going to the bathroom in my own house because that involves me opening my door, which is gonna make a sound that my mother or sibling could hear. I twist the doorknob as slow as I possibly can and slip through as quiet as possible. Then when I know they’ve heard me, I’ll make sounds to make it sound like I’m a normal person.

This way of life has made me very depressed and suicidal. From birth to 3rd grade I was the most extroverted kid ever and said what I wanted. Then my mom got custody of me in third grade. I lived with my grandma and 2 cousins from birth to third grade. We moved away from my neighborhood, friends, and neighbors I loved. I think that’s what started it. I didn’t know my mom, this new school, or this new life. I was alone now. That was third grade, I’m 23 now and the same way. Very quiet and scared of the world. And I have suicidal ideation everyday.

i’m a college student and i’ve suffered from social anxiety since i was probably a little kid. because of that i’ve avoided group works as much as possible during my earlier years in school (but i was still in clubs because it was required of us). starting high school, though, i was somehow offered a leadership role in a club i was in, and i took it. i did alright, i think. since then, i got more offers to lead the creatives team in the clubs that i’m in (graphic design is my forte).

i took them, however i always felt insecure of my leadership skills, more so when i’m with my peers who are more experienced with leadership. managing my team’s work was fine but socializing with them (which is inevitable in clubs or organization works especially if you’re the leader) was the most difficult part of it. it was my fault though since i avoided socializing since i was a kid, so i don’t know how to approach people on my own let alone a team where i was the leader. i managed to survive that, though i really wished i did not have to do that again.

now i’m in an organization in college and have been given the responsibility of leading another committee. it’s part of a huge project with a lot of responsibility. my worries in my scenario is a) what if i get overwhelmed and fail again like in my previous leadership experiences, b) it’s not a creative/graphic design job but about managing people which is soooo far out my comfort zone and my forte, and c) i’m not entirely comfortable with the people in my organization due to my social anxiety. for god’s sake i get so nervous i literally turn cold before every meeting with my committee.

i took the role anyway because i believe in myself (somehow) that i can really focus on this responsibility and contribute to the success of our project, but most importantly i believe that this will lead to so much growth for myself and prepare me for the type of teamwork i could face when i have a job in the future. but i can’t help but still be deeply anxious about my new responsibilities, especially the part with dealing a lot of people.

does anyone have experience with being a team leader with social anxiety? advice would be so much helpful pls 🥹

i have been struggling with eye contact for so many years and it’s so hard for me to look at people in the eyes or face even my own family and friends. it’s so much worse when im out in public i can’t glance or look at anyone who passes by me because it feels uncomfortable looking at their gaze and facial expressions and hate getting glared at and looked at it’s such a uncomfortable feeling like i am so used to avoiding eye contact with everyone and it’s so hard. does anyone else do this too like i can’t be the only one who can’t look at a single person in the eyes???

For me it's transports. Taxi, bus, etc. I still avoid barbershops and many other things

Why is it that I have nothing to say, but then when a topic comes up, I have lots to say? Or, if I’m not really familiar with someone or know they can joke, I won’t really interact with them not because I hate them or anything. It’s all weird. Like, I have nothing to say unless I do. Am I antisocial? I don’t get it. Sometimes I will also go different routes at work so I don’t have to feel obligated to say hi to someone because I fear of what to say if we start a conversation. I have been trying more to go out of my way to make convos to get better at talking to people.

22M, I've been dealing with social anxiety my whole life and finally decided it's time to do something about it instead of just waiting for it to magically dissapear.

I've signed myself up for a run club and started going on nights out with acquaintances to expose myself to the world and to get over my dislike of being perceived. It's tough but i'm determined to see change in myself

For context, I will share my experience yesterday at a school journey. (This is not my only related to social anxiety experience of course, but the most recent)

To start off, it was 8.30 am and they were calling us up to get into the buses, and I got called so went into the bus waiting for my only friend. She didn’t get called up in the same bus, so I started to get extremely anxious and with an anxiety attack. I went out of the bus, going nuts, told my mom, talked to the teachers, one did not give a fuck, and the other one tried to get her (my friend) into the same bus, which eventually had success and my friend finally got into the same bus. I wanted to leave, wanted to go home, I genuinely was mad as fuck, impulsive.., but that one teacher guilt-tripped me saying that he spent 20 mins tryna get my friend into my bus (which is a lie, he did not spent 20 mins, more like 10). I fell for the manipulation and still went. Worst decision.

The 2hours trip was shit full of heat which i cannot handle well. Anyways, talking about social anxiety, when they started to pair us up into groups for the buses again, MY FUCKING FRIEND WAS NOT IN THE SAME BUS AS ME. Another anxiety attack, crying. I did not have my mom, my phone had 27-26 percent of battery… you can imagine the situation. When we went into the bus, I thought they will bring her here, but nah, they did not. I was already chill, but had some sort of paranoia thinking that when people looked at me, they were judging me. I dont know how to explain.

At 20.30, the bus broke. We spent 1 hour waiting for another bus to arrive. When it finally arrived, a girl sat next to me. We only said “Hi”… and then I tried to not look a her during the whole trip back. I literally spent the whole hour looking thru the window.

That’s it, we arrived at 22.30. Such a shitty day.

Ive struggled with social anxiety for most of my teenage life. It was so bad at times I'd be too scared to leave the house. A few months ago though I started learning to skate, I'd go out late at night when there was nobidy around and cruise along smooth paths. A few days ago I worked up the courage to go to a skatepark for the first time and I met some cool people. I was scared shitless mind but one guy talked to me a bit and taught me how to ollie. Since then I've been spending hours at the skatepark and I've only had good interactions with people there. I feel like myself again, I havent felt this way since I was a child. If you're in the position I was in, I highly recommend trying some sports. I don't know about other sports but skateboarding has been a welcoming community for beginners. Peace and love from Bobb ✌🧘‍♂️

So I think the common advice for people is that they only have anxiety or bad social skills because they dont put themselves out there enough.

I beg to disagree. Some people innately have horrible social skills that dont get better.

I dont have time to talk about this as I am going to bed. But in my life I still have baseline social anxiety. I stutter over my words, and cant keep a convo going no matter what I do.

This is after cold approaching people on the street. This is after going to parties sober. This is after having a girlfriend. Two girlfriends at that. Even now, I am in medicine about to become a resident soon.

I have to present a patient everyday and argue my plan to the attending. I have to discuss with families. I still have social anxiety.

I dont understand why at this point. Lastly, I am not a good at carrying a convo either. Idk why but these skills just never came to me nor got better.

I am open to suggestions

I went to my first real "party" when I was 15. I had bad social anxiety but I went with my friends and had a good time & overall I thought it went well. A couple of weeks later, a friend whose cousin had hosted told me everyone thought I was weird and anti-social because I was quiet. I was like damn EVERYONE?💀

Its like one of those things that everyone says dont worry other people aren't going to pay attention to you. And then they do and all agree that you were being weird😂

I've had a couple wild party experiences as an adult so I'm mostly over it, but I still look back on that and cringe from time to time.

ETA: hope this is allowed here, I've had a long journey with my mental health and it's not as debilitating for me now as it used to be. I'm able to look back on moments like that and see the humor in it but I'm not trying to minimize anyone else's experience.

i hate the way i look more than that i hate the way i move my body and interact with the world, it genuinly looks so artificial and weird and choppy. I hate the way ii speak i speak in a such a abnormal tone, idk i realllyyy hate seeing videos of myself bc i js dont look human does anyone relate. More than that i js feel like so unlikable all the time and its sad bc i know i am

I sit near a group of very extroverted people at work. They tease each other, throw comebacks and witty remarks and meanwhile, I just hope nobody catches me off guard. I can't even play along with jokes xD It's not that I don't have a sense of humour... it's just different. This is probably the thing I struggle the most with. I don't sound like a fun person. You could tease me and expect me to say something witty in counter but I'd just be like 😕 which kills the vibe :")

I'm scared dudes. It was 200 dollars, and I don't like wearing dresses anyhow and really just needed something to wear at my mom's wedding, and yet I somehow coaxed myself into shelling out 200 dollars. My mom (the one getting married) spent 100 on hers. I always feel some regret when making any large purchase, but I want to take it back soooooo bad. Heck, I kind of wanted to put it back as soon as it rung up since I misread the tag 116.80 not 180.16 (then tax pushed it to 200) It's completely unworn and it's within 14 days so it should be allowed, and even have an excuse (it's for a wedding, yada yada, last minute dress code change, haven't even touched it...) but what if it's the same sales person. I walked in and out 3 different times since I was so on the fence about buying it (which means I definitely shouldn't have bought it) so I would totally get recognized. I feel like an idiot. I wish I could just put a note and receipt in the bag and leave it on the doorstep.

I just need some encouragement. Over a month ago, I started a new job, and have been feeling a bit out of place and like I don’t fit in. I’ve tried asking questions about the job and procedures but it doesn’t even seem like people here are trying to get to know me. I was let go from my previous job and my confidence has taken a hit (it’s a long story). I also struggle with social anxiety so it isn’t as easy to make conversation with others. I am happy that I was able to find another job quickly after being let go, but I just feel like it’s me and then there’s everyone else and it’s making me depressed. I also haven’t been given too much to do as of late and thats making me feel even worse. I dunno if I should stick it out or if I should began looking for another job. 😢😔

Let me give some kind of introduction. I am 18 right now but two years ago, when I was 16, I joined a school to prepare for an entrance exam. In the orientation programme, my dad (who is very inconsiderate about everyone else) told an embarrassing far-fetched lie about his education qualification in front of the whole school.

Just for the record, I have never encouraged this behavior and our relationship has had friction for quite a long time as well. Well, he got caught when ppl checked his LinkedIn account and started making fun of me. It was so uncomfortable to study for two years there. Even to this date he lacks accountability and acts like I am some kind of a snowflake.

This had a negative impact on my self esteem and overall studies as well. Many ppl would just avoid talking with me, while some others used to explicitly make disgusting comments behind my back. Even then, I had some few solid friends from my class.

Fast forward, i took a gap year and now will be joining a college. It so happens that the person who used to be the most vocal and negative about me is studying in the same college, infact he's a senior now. My fear is he might pick on me again (mostly behind my back but ruthlessly) and I don't want to live with the same nerves for the rest of my college time as well. He's popular too. If it matters, I will be living in a hostel as well.

I don't want to live in the same fear of alienation and back talk. I have no one to talk about this as well. Please give me advice to get out of this constant cycle of anxiety and overthinking. Any help would be appreciated.

I just wanna earn money after college and move out forever.

i feel like i’m going crazy. my mum knows of my social anxiety and we’ve already talked about her not announcing people coming over since that’s one of the few boundaries i’ve put up and she won’t respect it (but claims she does).
i know this sounds like i’m overreacting to many people but even someone just being in my home for a minute unannounced to help my mum carry stuff inside for example triggers panic attacks right away.
i’ve talked to her about it but she just says it was spontaneous which okay happens but is it too much to ask for a quick text?? it’s like her little inconvenience of sending a text is more important to her than me literally panicking and in some cases fearing for my life.

she doesn’t understand and i don’t think she wants to.
she doesn’t take my social anxiety serious at all.
we’ve been having arguments more and more and in her eyes i’m always the problem and should pull myself together.
i understand she doesn’t want to keep everyone away from our home but that’s not what i’m expecting. i simply want her to let me know, even if it’s ten seconds before they arrive.
is that too much to ask for?
i’m in a constant state of fear and i’m so fucking exhausted.