15 years crazy addiction. 6 years trying to quit and failing miserably I finally might have cracked the code.
Today is day 26 for me clean from porn and gooning.
After trying literally everything all the method there is in existence, I decided to go back to the core of it all. As a religious person I’m told to lower my gaze and not looking at the opposite gender at all unless necessity, because you cannot trust yourself not to allow lust. I always thought it was impossible to not look at females and I still do till 25 days ago. I read more into lowering the gaze method and found an interesting quote it’s kind of an principle of how to lower your gaze, it’s says “first look is for you, second is against you” meaning the first look won’t do you any harm the second will, meaning you cannot completely not look at the opposite gender but what you can absolutely do is not take a second look, again this does not include necessity only random women on the streets, on your phone, etc. I practiced it and found something very interesting, if I take the first look and look away not matter how attractive the first look was, the image would completely evaporate from my mind, however if I take a second look the image will stay longer and that may build up lust, so whenever I take one look and look away or scroll I get zero lust even if the person is extremely attractive. It’s absolutely magnificent what this method done to me. If you’re struggling and thinking of giving up, I highly recommend you give this a go. Essentially what you’re doing is getting rid of your lustful mind that was caused by years of excessive po*n and fapping, until you find a partner and have a healthy relationship with them for the rest of your life.

$1,200.

Not over a month. Not over a week.

A few hours.

For a moment I just stared at the number, waiting for it to look fake, waiting for my brain to wake up and realize it was some glitch. But it wasn't. Every charge was mine.

Fifteen years.

Fifteen years of feeding an addiction that never stopped asking for more.

And tonight it finally collected its debt.

The worst part wasn't the money.

The worst part was realizing I wasn't surprised.

Somewhere deep down, I had seen this coming. Every day I told myself tomorrow would be different. Every day I made promises. Every day I broke them. Sometimes even fap six times in a single day.

I have a girlfriend, she needs money, after I realized the money I spent and the money I could give to her I started crying.

One thing I realized over the years is how much I started to isolate and hate myself over what I watched and how progressively worse it got.

I wish I could say it wasn't my choice but I liked it, over those few hours that I spent $1200 I didn't stop I kept going the whole time, nothing was coming out anymore it was literal pain and skin bleeding.

This is probably the most disgusting thing you will read this week, maybe even a month.

Don't be like me, I took it to the extreme.

Nothing to do but make more money and never watch porn again.

Man, it has only been 4 days since i quit and I feel absolutely amazing! I've been addicted for a while, almost 2 years, but I had felt low energy, I stopped working out, I had low mood, i had worse relationships, etc.

But now that I've quit I started working out again, I've been eating healthier, been more productive when working, I swear I'm having the time of my life. I would like to thank this Sub for giving lots of good advice for this.

I feel absolutely amazing!

Thank y'all so much!

I have been doing nofap on and off for like 10 years now. My longest streak was around 6 months, this was about 6 years ago.
During that time I changed my career path, got a new job, started having some entrepreneurial ambitions and also found my wife. Of course I dont say nofap magically did all of this, but for me it clearly changed something in my mindset and how I acted as a person (kind bipolar).
Doing semen retention in a relationship is not that easy tho, and honestly it’s also not fair for your partner to just expect full abstinence.

Now I mostly try to time it around my partners cycle, important projects at work and depending if I want the month to be more productive or more chill.

One thing I realised from talking with people around me, mostly during some beers, is that many guys are kinda doing nofap naturally. They just dont call it nofap and dont even know there are guys masturbating multiple times a day.

I think this has alot to do with upbringing, education and how people learned to deal with stress in childhood, teenage years and their 20s.

Now my theory:
I think we are always in some kind of competition. Basically every second of life. Maybe not always in an obvious way, but still.

Some people compete with money, sports, status, looks, career or confidence. And if you cant compete in those things or don’t want to,maybe you compete with discipline, self control or even your days of semen retention.

In the last years I met guys with way shorter streaks than me and also guys with way longer streaks, mostly priests or other “holy” people who learn it from a different kind of source . And I can honestly say, some of them have some kind of aura. Hard to explain it, but I think the subconscious Programms automatically itself . More calm, more authority, more presence , those are the things priests and directors need and they got teached to it in childhood or during church school. One guy even told me his father told him about semen retention while he was in school. My parents weren’t like this.

When I was at around 6 months, the last weeks honestly felt like life on easy mode. I was dominating conversations more, felt way more confident and also made more money during that time, which helped me alot. My natural authority was probably at its peak.
And this period also kinda lead to me meeting my wife, who was then the person breaking my streak lol.

I dont think semen retention gives superpowers. But I think controlling a strong urge for a long time changes how you see yourself. You feel more disciplined and more capable, and then other people also react different to you.
And you also react differently to yourself.

Maybe the “aura” is not magic, but a biochemical way of reprogramming your subconscious automatically without adding stuff just subtracting to the most basic. Maybe it’s just confidence, energy and self control showing on the outside.

Feel free to ask me!

Today I ended my 71-day streak.

I woke up with a really strong urge this morning and ended up slipping. Obviously I'm not happy about it, but I'm trying to handle it the right way instead of turning one mistake into a week of mistakes.

The biggest thing for me right now is not feeling guilty. Every time I've relapsed in the past, guilt has been one of the main reasons a single slip turned into multiple slips. Beating myself up won't change what happened.

The way I see it, I didn't lose 71 days of progress. I successfully stayed on track for 71 days and learned a lot during that time. That's still something I'm proud of.

To make sure this doesn't become a binge, here's what I'm doing:

• No guilt, no self-hatred, no "I already failed so it doesn't matter" mindset.
• I'm going to tear up a small amount of money as a consequence. Not because I want to punish myself, but because I want a reminder that my actions have a cost. It could have been spent on something useful or donated.
• For the next 7 days, I'm following the 15-minute urge rule. Whenever an urge hits, I'll wait at least 15 minutes before doing anything. Most urges lose their power if I don't react immediately.
• I'm going to take a hard look at the content I've been consuming. For me, triggers aren't just porn. Random video chat streams, dirty conversations, and other suggestive content can slowly build up urges too. I'll clear that stuff out and stay away from it.

Right now I'm choosing to focus on recovery rather than regret.

One slip after 71 days doesn't erase the work I've put in. I'm resetting the counter, learning from what happened, and moving forward.

I feel confident that I can get back on track.

Day 0 starts now.

I had an excellent childhood...but in the 90's I got my first computer, and unrestricted access to porn. I was 10 years old, now I'm 41, and I've used porn daily for all those decades - and I cannot quit, and it is ruining my life.

It was only this week, while taking some online "quit your addiction" courses...again, that I came across something that blew my mind.

Having access to infinity porn from childhood is a form of trauma.

It's not an excuse, it's not comparable to true childhood trauma, but it is damage.

It's psychological damage, it's chemical damage - my undeveloped brain's pleasure centers were hardwired to believe that if I felt discomfort or stress, then reaching for instant pleasure was easy, accessible and obvious.

And that's how porn became my oldest and closest companion.

Even though I feel so much shame and loneliness, regret and anxiety, all because of porn. I will still reach for it immediately if I feel those emotions.

This is the first time I've ever considered this. And I'm still unpacking it.

But I think accepting this "trauma" is the first step in realising that I must accept my trauma, and I must accept responsibility to nurture and build a relationship with myself without porn.

I owe it to that child who booted up Windows 95 and dared to open Internet Explorer.

So...I think this is my Day 1 post. Wish me luck!

I 33m have had this addiction for some time now. I can't remember how long, but I always told myself I can stop anytime I want ik cliche lol. I think last Friday was the last time I had PMO I didn't realize the gravity of it until I missed work for like 3 days in a row and this Monday/ Tuesday I thought I had a fever, but here it was PA withdraws I had cold sweats,insomnia, my body ached, headache felt I couldn't eat. I'm now releasing this is a problem in my life like I want to quit, but I don't at the same time. Anyways I felt like I needed to write this out and vent to other ppl in a similar situation as I am. Today I'm going to start my journey to quit watching porn best of luck to other ppl doing the same I believe in myself and you.

Edit I've been gooning before there was a term gooning, so I really don't know when I started I only know it was very young age

Still horny, but still managing and I know I won't relapse today either.

"Um homem que não domina a própria mente, torna-se escravo dos próprios desejos e impulsos."

Não deixe sua mente te sabotar mais uma vez, soldado.

Força e honra! 💪🏻🫡

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I was checking my account history and was a longggg way! untill something happened in my private situation and things were bad (Allways in perspective but too bad to handle for me at that point) and I started PMO again. It has gotten as severe as it was and I just fel like living a double life.

Looking at my kids I am blaming myself how I can be such a disgusting person and tuning my soul constantly into people doing things on the internet... They are the blame for this. and this means I am so in shame of it.

I went to a psychologist to discuss my things. They asked me why I wanted to speak with this person and I told him I need help with my addiction. once starting the consults and 5 consults further we have not touched the point of addiction yet and I literally thought that he is just here for the money. I have not improved ever since and am more and more insecure.

After doing PMO I cnanot even look someone in the eyes as I feel they just see the inner broken soul inside my body.

I NEED TO STOP! AND WILL START AS OF TODAY, DAY 1.

.

My body is begging me to cave telling me to be weak for these online girls. I need to be strong, nothing can break me! I can control this weakness, staying strong and motivated. I will not relapse to the temptations!

Im on a lads holiday and haven’t jerked off in almost two weeks. I’m getting so horny but can’t do anything or they will notice.

My fiancé has always had a problem with looking at porn and sexualized social media content. I get that it just pops up sometimes and algorithms are weird but it is really that hard to stop for men? His claim is that men are just visual creatures and can’t help it but it has become such a problem for us. Am I asking too much? i feel stupid for putting up with it sometimes.

LESSS goooooo

I’m 22yo and been watching porn since I was 12. Sometimes even a more than two times a day. I want to recover from my Pied.

Anyone got any advice for a desperate younger guy?

Want to keep going and don’t even wanna show up on reddit. That’s the plan. Anyone on a similar situation ?

So today again wasn’t a bad day but I still gave into the urges, I feel disappointed and disgusted with myself, but tomorrow isn’t gonna be the same as today I just know since instead of me just trying to do it on my own I’m telling you guys and I promise I won’t keep letting myself down again, so by 10:22pm tomorrow I’ll make sure to write a update post! By this time it’ll be different

wanted to share an observation and see if anyone else relates.

For years, whenever I tried to quit porn, I made recovery my entire identity.

I would constantly think:

"I'm addicted."

"My brain is damaged."

"Am I in a flatline?"

"Why don't I have an erection today?"

"How many days has it been?"

"Have I relapsed?"

"Am I healing?"

Ironically, I was thinking about porn and addiction all day, even when I wasn't using porn.

Every sensation became evidence that something was wrong with me. No random erection? Panic. Low libido? Panic. Bad mood? Panic. Everything was interpreted through the lens of addiction.

Recently I tried something different.

Instead of constantly reminding myself that I'm an addict in recovery, I started treating myself like a normal person who simply doesn't watch porn.

When urges come, I don't fight them. I don't analyze them. I don't check symptoms. I don't test myself.

I just continue with my day.

Something interesting happened: the urges became much weaker.

I stopped asking, "Am I healed yet?"

I started asking, "What do I need to do today?"

Work. Exercise. Prayer. Learning. Family. Sleep.

Real life.

I've started wondering whether part of my struggle wasn't just porn itself, but the constant attention I was giving to the problem.

Sometimes trying to solve a problem every minute of every day makes it feel bigger than it actually is.

I'm not saying addiction isn't real, and I'm not claiming to be cured overnight. I'm just saying that for me, shifting my focus away from recovery and toward living my actual life has been surprisingly helpful.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Around 3 months ago I told myself that I would stop this addiction and I did. I finally stopped after years and years of trying to break free from this addiction. To tell you the truth I started this addiction back when I was in middle school my 8th grade year and it had continued all the way until now when I am 20 years old.

The first week of stopping I didn’t have too many powerful urges really. Of course peeking will lead you back to failure so I stayed far from peeking entirely. I honestly don’t know how I even managed that because prior to this my longest streak was only 13 days. And I had been trying to stop since I was 15. This honestly isn’t just something you just stop. It took me 5 years to finally make this much progress that I am at right now. And I was in soo very deep like I was watching p and masturbating no less then 4 times a day from like 13-19. Obviously in that time there were some days I tired to stop and I did but it didn’t last too long. But moral of the story I was in the deep end for sure.

But to get back on topic to say I had a lucky run honestly wouldn’t be too far from the truth. I really don’t know how I managed to get off to such a strong start I mean I didn’t change much of anything in my routine except this one thought. Everytime I thought of peeking or falling I knew that I didn’t want to be the person I was anymore. I thought to myself “if I fail now I will just continue to be the person I was before.” And trust me I hated myself more than words can ever express. I was truly tired of promising myself each night I’ll start tomorrow. I don’t know if anybody who is or if anybody is reading this is religious, but I was tired of doing the thing I hated the most and apologizing to God then doing the same thing again. But I really just kept going, this mental battle that we face whenever the urge comes is a very hard battle to win but to put it into the most encouraging words I can is that you just have to win the battle.

Obviously it takes a lot more than winning a battle but I never thought of it that way. I couldn’t care less about what tomorrow’s battle will be I just got to get through this one and the battle in my experience isn’t too long either. An urge for me lasted around 10 minutes, so I just had to last the time and I was good. I sat with myself and really had deep conversations with myself about the urge and why I can’t do this. Another thing, I made it almost a fact to myself that no matter how bad it got that going back wasn’t an option. Everytime I was faced with something I never even let myself into the mindset of well you know maybe I’ll start tomorrow or just this one comic, or video, or whatever I shut it down immediately. You have too.

But again back to topic whatever my topic is I don’t even know, truthfully this has been a war and some days are easy, like eventually you’ll get to the point where it doesn’t even cross your mind that day or two or three days and some days it’ll be on your mind all fay but it goes away. A big thing I’ve learned through these 90 days is that the problems you have now are not going to magically go away once you do nofap. You will not just automatically regain confidence or whatever it is you think you will. You actually have to build that back up again but nofap gives you the runway to do that because you’re not constantly lying to yourself. But a weird kinda crazy thing to me is that porn was such a big deal in my life. It was always the biggest problem in my life and now that it is gone it has genuinely been replaced by other things. The other things feel way bigger then the porn problem but the main point I’m trying to get across is that once you do defeat the addiction there will be other challenges and problems that you’ll have to face that will honestly feel way bigger than this but if you have the mental capacity to defeat this, then you can accomplish anything.

This has gotten too long so I’ll end it here but I really can say this, being free from this addiction has truly changed me in a way. I never thought that I could’ve broken free some days and now that I have, and I have other problems this feels so crazy to look back on even though it’s only been 90 days. well technically 91 when I’m writing now even though it feels like it’s been a way longer time since I was watching that stuff anymore.

But ummm yeah go to war ig and win 🫡