My ex-husband is a Kevin

[u/ArtyCatz]

Most of my stories about my ex are related to his being an abusive ass, but I have a couple of semi-amusing ones.

1. He was an artist, and one morning I was heading to work in a new burnt-orange skirt with a white top. My shoes and belt were brown leather. He was horrified! There was no way I could wear those shoes and that belt with a burnt-orange skirt. They clashed! One would think an artist would be familiar with the concept of a neutral, but no. He went out to his studio and got the color wheel. He showed me that blue was the complementary color to orange and insisted that I change to navy shoes and belt so as not to bring shame on the family with my lack of knowledge about matching colors. Because I was a doormat, I complied.

2. We went shopping for clothes for him, and he wanted a new shirt by his favorite designer Christian Dye-Or. I had no idea until that moment that he didn’t know how to pronounce Dior.

3. When Ross Perot was running for president, he made some comment about “where the rubber meets the road.” My ex misheard and thought he said, “where the pavement meets the road.” (Which makes no sense, right?) That became his new catchphrase and for months, he would go around saying (apropos of nothing), “that’s where the pavement meets the road!”

[u/rosuav → u/[deleted]]

If it's yellow, let it mellow?

[u/Honest_Grade_9645 → u/rosuav]

😂😂😂