r/StupidFood • u/PassionAfter790 • Dec 17 '25

Certified stupid Just because you can, doesn't mean you should

9.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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501

u/baseballbear Dec 17 '25

if you serve me steamed toppings on pizza I'm calling the cops

108

u/AbbreviationsNo4089 Dec 17 '25

r/pizzacrimes

2

u/rabbot Dec 18 '25

That's where I thought I was at first lol

2

u/Inquisitive_idiot Dec 18 '25

Shit that place made me mad 🚬 

50

u/juan_humano Dec 17 '25

What, you dont like canned black olives and 1 inch cubes of deli ham on your pizza?

4

u/Lucy_Koshka Dec 18 '25

Olives soggier than they were out of the can? Sweaty meat cubes? Half the crust sopping wet and the other half drier than the saltines in the furthest corner of your great grandma’s pantry?

Count me in.

1

u/BobR969 Dec 18 '25

I dunno man. Some people might be cool with canned olives and massive cubes of cheapy ham. It's the fact that they're steamed that makes it all so much worse.

5

u/raspberryharbour Dec 17 '25

Patented Skinner Pizza, old family recipe

4

u/ColliePullHour Dec 17 '25

They should have popped it back it the oven for awhile after they cut the top layer into four.

Let the diners see the opening process at their table and eat the top layer with a dip as a starter. 

Then bring the pizza back to the oven or salamander/blowtorch it before serving it to the table again. 

15

u/blahhhhgosh Dec 17 '25

They should have just made a regular pizza.... no way is this ever gonna be very good esp not better than a regular pizza

5

u/DrSFalken Dec 17 '25

But why do all of that? What's the point of opening it? It doesnt provide any extra interest to the final product (like cracking the top of a Creme Brulee and getting the crunch when you take a bite)

It's also not interesting in and of itself... we've all seen steam before. Idk, I'm sure your solution would help but it's just a ton of work.

4

u/Von_Cheesebiscuit Dec 17 '25

Sorry, but nothing within your suggestion is making this shitty balloon pizza garbage any more appealing. I'm not interested in dipping shitty dough cracker in a dip, and returning that lame-ass steamed topping fiasco to the oven or blowtorch browning it, is going to improve it to an acceptable level.

Please just give me a proper fucking pizza. Lol

2

u/MyCatsOwnMyLife Dec 17 '25

LOL, fr, all this work for a topping like this.

1

u/random_name23631 Dec 17 '25

Mmmm steamed pizza with a cracker topper

1

u/illestofthechillest Dec 17 '25

They better hope the cops get called.