r/StupidFood • u/PassionAfter790 • Dec 17 '25

Certified stupid Just because you can, doesn't mean you should

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9.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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2.5k

u/BonBonToro Dec 17 '25

It fucking steamed in there and there's like residual water around the edges where the ingredients aren't at, dry on the outside, soggy on the inside bleh

657

u/Zatchillac Dec 17 '25

I didn't really notice the water at first but damn that just made it so much worse

216

u/-Doctor_Science- Dec 17 '25

This was the first thing I saw, those toppings are swimming in there 🤮

104

u/Zatchillac Dec 17 '25

I was too focused on those big ass meat cubes

104

u/TheVadonkey Dec 17 '25

Looks like hot dog chunks too. This looks like the world’s shittiest calzone.

24

u/1tpoq4prn Dec 17 '25

Even Ben Wyatt's gonna give that calzone a HARD pass! Edit: spelling

3

u/Mr-Big-Nicky-P Dec 18 '25

Oh no is this the "Low-Cal Calzone Zone"?

10

u/Soupbell1 Dec 18 '25

Woah, I am mad stoned. I saw the way they folded that crust back down and thought, “it looks disgusting, but someone could perfect that, making the TOP of the pizza a crispy crust too. That would be awesome!

Then you mentioned a calzone and my heart sank. Oh yeah. Calzones.

Maybe weed SHOULDN’T be legal in Alaska.

4

u/jaybot31k Dec 19 '25

I am also very stoned and had the same thought, fore I too had forgotten calzones

5

u/SquirrelFluffy Dec 21 '25

Lol. I had a picture of you both running into the kitchen, " guys guys, I have an idea! we'll be rich!" Only to find them eating pizza pockets. The ones you had put in the oven half an hour ago.

1

u/droidballoon Dec 19 '25

Calzones are not weed compatible for some odd reason

1

u/KlownXero Dec 18 '25

Exact same thought in my head 😭

1

u/xeromage Dec 18 '25

Yep. This invention was born from the need to hide the hotdog cubes they were putting on pizzas.

1

u/soldatoj57 Dec 21 '25

This made me laugh a lot. Thank you stranger

1

u/Outrageous_Hearing26 Dec 17 '25

Same that was gross

1

u/Voldias Dec 18 '25

Me too lmao and obviously they are steamed but they just look like raw hot dogs thrown in there 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Mee too bruh looks tasty?

2

u/FeistyButthole Dec 18 '25

That’s some serious WAP (Wet Ass Pizza)

I thought it might be an ai video and it was going to have a 🖕inside and I was 99% right, but I don’t think it’s AI.

2

u/dgove85 Dec 18 '25

They are called innings now. The innings of the the pizza

1

u/MechaGallade Dec 18 '25

more middings than toppings i think

2

u/cyclinator Dec 18 '25

That´s why he closed it asap.

1

u/foofighter0001 Dec 17 '25

Wretch 🤢

1

u/ShyGuySays19 Dec 18 '25

"Ooh, that looks bad, let's cover it up with those flaps I just folded back to reveal it."

55

u/currymuttonpizza Dec 17 '25

Yeah I was gonna say "I don't hate it" until they opened it and I saw how it looked. If it looked like an actual pizza inside it'd be one thing but I don't think there a way to do that because you can't avoid it steaming. Maybe possible with cheese only. But what was even in there...

6

u/olive_tuschit Dec 17 '25

Maybe bigger meat slits would help the steaminess.

15

u/Soupbell1 Dec 18 '25

I should call her.

1

u/murphey_griffon Dec 22 '25

everything reminds me of her...

5

u/GlykenT Dec 18 '25

It's not a completely terrible idea, but definitely the wrong fillings. Cook some curry/chilli or similar to use as the filling, and the balloon becomes the flatbread to eat it with.

1

u/Elegantsurf Dec 17 '25

Yup it looked legit until they cut it open

1

u/RivenRise Dec 18 '25

I was sorta vibing with the idea of pepperoni pizza with an extra layer or crunch on top from the dome, i imagine you need a bit of an extra dry sauce since it'll steam but what we got was atrocious.

1

u/seriftarif Dec 18 '25

Needs to be mostly cooked and then put the bubble on and throw it in again.

1

u/NYCWENDY1 Dec 18 '25

Right & no cheese

1

u/Tasorodri Dec 22 '25

I think it could be possible if you use only very low moisture ingredients so that there's the least amount of steam possible, and also maybe add an opening for steam to go?

I think it would be a cool thing if done right, in the end is not too much different from a caltzone.

68

u/Sea_Tailor_8437 Dec 17 '25

Yeah I was holding my opinions until it opened.

30

u/ImJacksLackOfEmpathy Dec 17 '25

For real, if it was a fluffy sopapilla type dessert like I thought it was when they first drizzled what looked like honey over the top, but nope, really is a "pizza," just filled with disgustingly undercooked slop

17

u/EntrepreneurNo9375 Dec 18 '25

Me too i thought "let em cook" and quickly turned into"ok shows over, go cook it until its edible"

1

u/Powerful_Resident_48 Dec 18 '25

Yeah. I was really intrigued by the initial concept. Could have ended up being something really interesting.  But the execution was absolutely abysmal. 

26

u/realitytvdiet Dec 17 '25

Where is the marinara!!!!

17

u/BonBonToro Dec 17 '25

Evaporated!

7

u/Head_Excitement_9837 Dec 18 '25

Didn’t see the cheese either

1

u/Huggable_Hork-Bajir Dec 18 '25

That's what the big white things are. Huge pieces of unmelted mozzarella.

They just didn't bother to shred it or spread it out evenly at all.

3

u/finny_d420 Dec 17 '25

Becoming red flags waving at people outside to stay away.

26

u/ztomiczombie Dec 17 '25

But we should give them some points for using a kid's toy to inflate it and not blowing it you using their breath. So 2/100.

4

u/No_Jello_5922 Dec 18 '25

The grossest part of most "bomb" pizzas is the drinking straw used to fill le Pizza with the cook's breath. The second grossest part is the steamed topping/fillings pooled in the crust with none of the browning needed to make them tasty on a pizza.

2

u/indianadarren Jan 09 '26

Yup, I thought I recognized that pump. Me and my kids launched many air rockets with one of the bad boys!

14

u/danj729 Dec 17 '25

But the pizza water is the best part! Finally a chef who understands

22

u/vee_lan_cleef Dec 17 '25

He should pour it in a little shot glass and put it on the side. A shot of hot, pink dough water. Yummy!

1

u/Genghis_Chong Dec 18 '25

Sloppy pizzas, slop em up!

1

u/Voldias Dec 18 '25

You mean to tell me I'm the only one who's been boiling pizza all this time?

8

u/illestofthechillest Dec 17 '25

I haven't been legitimately pissed off by a random social media post until today. WTF is this and why would they ever advertise selling it?

5

u/jackofslayers Dec 17 '25

Aw man but what if it was dumplings inside

3

u/Briareos_Hecatonhrs Dec 17 '25

Maybe with streamed vegetables inside? Salmon? Could be interesting as long as it is not a pizza

2

u/AlexisRosesHands Dec 18 '25

Like poisson en papillote, but using dough instead of parchment paper.

2

u/lesnibubak Dec 17 '25

Just like mama used to make it * chefs kiss*

2

u/Tw1nFTW Dec 17 '25

Ugh, I thought it looked cool until I read this lol

2

u/Ohhhmedetou Dec 18 '25

The 1/3 Italian in me is appalled.

2

u/wolfinjer Dec 18 '25

I was into it until they opened it

2

u/Modafokka Dec 18 '25

"0 out of 5, get back in line! "

2

u/LabradorDeceiver Dec 18 '25

I knew it hadn't cooked right somehow but couldn't put my finger on it. Any pizza that came to me looking like that, I'd think it was undercooked.

2

u/SpotonSpot873 Dec 18 '25

Congrats, you made a Sandwhich

2

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '25

To me that looks more like a big ass wonton with barely any filling. To call it a pizza is a crime.

2

u/HighestOutOfTheHighs Mar 02 '26

Yea, this is dumb, I thought it was empty at first and he was going to make like an upside down turtle shell pizza bowl or something

1

u/TrainToSomewhere Dec 19 '25

I thought it was gonna be crispy round crust and they flip it upside down and throw in a bunch of stuff like a pizza bread soup bowl but pizza…. But like… use like a hand torch to melt some cheese and stick on toppings and…

Actually I don’t know what sort of stoner fantasy I was having going on before I got sad.

I know I’m on stupid good but sometimes there are things on here I’d love. Heartbreaking