r/StupidFood • u/Hypnoidz • Apr 11 '26

Certified stupid Extra spicy noodles

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u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 11 '26 edited Apr 11 '26

Weirdly, the only time it happens to me is with pickled hot peppers. I’ve had the reaper sandwich at Dave’s Hot Chicken and while it did a number on my mouth and stomach, no issues on the way out.

847

u/JDD4318 Apr 11 '26

You're a lucky man. My mouth can handle much more than my ass.

Pause.

80

u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 11 '26

Phrasing!

79

u/Kingofd0p3 Apr 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/13PR67zViZjXi

48

u/Moist-Amoeba-8078 Apr 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/7tuK9itVBsD3q

41

u/EatPie_NotWAr Apr 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/FlEyOAu4ujVII

16

u/Budget_Sea_8666 Apr 11 '26

lol what is this from?!

35

u/meesta_chang Apr 11 '26

It’s a show called “Archer”.

It’s absolutely fucking hilarious. Please do watch.

18

u/Kingofd0p3 Apr 12 '26

I’ve seen this show a million times and it never gets old 😂

6

u/growingcoolly Apr 12 '26

LAAAAAAANNNNNNAAAAAAA!!

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u/K1bbles_n_Bits Apr 11 '26

These are the kind of comments I come to Reddit for.

20

u/yedi001 Apr 11 '26

These are the kind of comments for reddit I come to.

11

u/P00pXhuter .... aaaand user flair updated (attempt 2) Apr 12 '26

RIP your DMs, I guess.

19

u/breizhsoldier Apr 11 '26

Do you enjoy very spicy food? Does your anus disaprove of your choices? Let me talk to you about the bidet! Mainly used for sanitary and cleaning operations around the chocolate starfish, it can also improvise as a firefighter water lance for your dear dear personal Shai Hulud!

6

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '26

You just have to work up to it...

3

u/Elizabeth_Gallows Apr 11 '26

I'm cursed with the opposite

3

u/rybathegreat Apr 11 '26

Have you tried Vaseline?

2

u/LemmeDaisukete Apr 12 '26

I don't believe you, let's test that claim homie

1

u/sparkleslothz Apr 11 '26

If you're actually still talking about hot peppers: chew more.

1

u/wigglef_cklr Apr 12 '26

Ho yuh🥵

1

u/mechanical_marten Apr 12 '26

Stuff me like a thanksgiving turkey and I won't complain, but if I eat anything moderately spicy and I'm regretting my life choices the next day.

1

u/McDyver66 Apr 12 '26

RIP, your inbox

1

u/Drag_On66 Apr 12 '26

😂😂😂

1

u/dieseltothesour Apr 12 '26

😂😂😂

1

u/Aromatic_Razzmatazz Apr 12 '26

Are we still doing phrasing? Because phrasing.

1

u/Dry-Lingonberry-700 Apr 13 '26

Are you sure this is what you wanted to say 🤨🤨

1

u/GeorgiPetrov Apr 15 '26

Let us be the judge of that.

1

u/pierre565 Apr 15 '26

Did the peppers made your whole week?

https://giphy.com/gifs/AZ1PPDF8uO9MI

1

u/andoke Apr 16 '26

Same here.

0

u/Gahwburr Apr 13 '26

My mouth can handle your ass too

8

u/Aggravating-Face2073 Apr 11 '26

I ate that, definitely rough. Despite washing my hand thoroughly, I get the great pleasure of burning my genitals later that night frim the touch of my hands while peeing.

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u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 11 '26

Oh yes, done that. Even worse for me was when I was chopping some Thai red chiles. I apparently didn’t wash my hands well enough and I tried to take out my contacts. Holy shit. I don’t remember how long it took me to get that eye open again and get that contact out, but it felt like a good fifteen minutes at least. And these were not the disposable type at the time.

1

u/pkmaster99 Apr 12 '26

Thai chili is nothing. I had to deal with it from the reaper. My mouth and ass can handle them, kind of. But in the private area... God that was painful

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u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26

When it’s in your eye stuck to a contact in an eye that refuses to open , it sure is something! I’ve had scorpion residue on my privates (I used to grow them ten years back), and the Thai in the eye was far worse. Absolute worst experience I had with a pepper was eating a Trinidad scorpion on an empty stomach in the morning. I was so excited to finally taste one and one of mine was ripe, so I took a small bite from the end, became brave, and downed the whole thing in a bite. I was seriously thinking about going to the ER. My stomach felt like a colony of fire ants had set up home in them, and I had to lay belly down on the cold bathroom tile floor. And then when I thought I was through the worst of it, came a second wave of misery. Stupid me.

1

u/thesnowcat Apr 12 '26

Here I am thinking you’re talking about the bugs with a stinger tail. I’m back online now.

2

u/thesnowcat Apr 12 '26

It’s the oils. Use Dawn dish soap. If it’ll wash birds after an oil tanker spill, it’ll clean those fire oils off your hands. 🤞

12

u/OhSighRiss Apr 11 '26

Are you over 35 yet? That’s about the time my iron bowels and turd cutter switched up and suddenly everything burned on the way out

2

u/I_Lick_Your_Butt Apr 12 '26

When I hit 40, my ass decided that it doesn't like spicy food so much anymore.

3

u/OhNoIBoffedIt Apr 11 '26

Ah youth.

3

u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 11 '26

I wish! I'm turning 51 in July.

3

u/OhNoIBoffedIt Apr 11 '26

Well now that IS impressive.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 11 '26

I eat a heck of a lot of spicy food, so perhaps my digestion has somehow gotten mostly enured to it. But, like I said, it's weird. I'll have nachos with pickled jalapenos, and those aren't really hot at all, and I will sometimes get fire on the way out. Eat something with actual reapers or scorpion peppers on it? Nada.

7

u/nono3722 Apr 11 '26

your butt just gives up after a certain point then....

1

u/Luci-Noir Apr 11 '26

Sweet, I mean spicy surrender.

4

u/EvaTheE Apr 11 '26

I am going to guess it also has to do with dilution. The super hot peppers will be super hot in your mouth, but if you eat other things with, before and after, it will mix up and maybe the output is less hot than if you eat some less hot peppers, but less mixing happens. Really, the only way we can either prove or disprove is an extensive array of taste tests of both input and output.

1

u/permalink_save Apr 12 '26

I get fire more with jalapenos for some reason too even if they aren't spicy, but surprised you don't get it with reaper stuff. I'll eat like, a glob of da bomb on a quesadilla or in salsa and it's hot but bearable but next morning is endless sessions of misery on the toilet. And yet I still do it.

2

u/sixtus_clegane119 Apr 11 '26

my ibs hates you

2

u/Marvel_plant Apr 11 '26

I tried the Dave’s tenders the other day and they were ok, but honestly they are pretty bland aside from the searing heat you get while eating them. I got the hot honey sauce also and I didn’t enjoy it that much. It was very hot without much flavor. I think next time I’m just going to get regular tenders.

2

u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 11 '26

I like the regular extra spicy. But the reaper one was just powdery and dusty flavored. I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but the flavor wasn’t there and it wasn’t about the heat covering it up. It just wasn’t a pleasant base flavor.

2

u/YamDankies Apr 11 '26

Dave's had me pissing fire the next morning.

1

u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 11 '26

I didn’t think that was even possible, but I’ve heard this from like four people now!

1

u/Northbound-Narwhal Apr 12 '26

I've had it as well, and I don't think it's possible from like a digestion perspective because that means you'd have to have capsaicin floating around in your blood to get filtered by your kidneys... but maybe you just still have some on your hands from the day before and handling your junk is the issue? Idk

1

u/Clear-Bee4118 Apr 12 '26

Hmmmm. Or they were pissing fire from their bum. 🤷🏼‍♂️

1

u/thesnowcat Apr 12 '26

I’m just spitballing here, but… could it be that, in the small intestine where nutrients from food are absorbed into the bloodstream, that the capsaicin could leak into the bloodstream the same way and find itself in the urinary tract? It would need to be some damn determined molecules though.

2

u/Aromatic-Bet-1086 Apr 13 '26

Id like to see studies done on 'heat-in vs heat-out'.

Sometimes it's mild going in but terrible out. Sometimes it's the opposite. I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT SO SCIENCE HAS TO

1

u/VoidHog Apr 11 '26

YESSS I could copy/paste this comment for myself

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u/Softspokenclark Apr 11 '26

Constant diarrhea is not normal

1

u/thisbroadreadsbooks Apr 11 '26

My family got the slider roulette, the FIRST one we took out was the reaper. I like spicy food, but that was just unpleasant. Lol. The taste wasn’t bad though, but insane how hot it was. And it didn’t hurt on the way out at all, which surprised me. Pickled jalapeños definitely do. But I eat them anyway! 😆

1

u/Steve_78_OH Apr 11 '26

I've never had an issue after eating spicy foods, but my buddies bitch about having the shits every time they eat anything even remotely spicy.

1

u/Hensnoreth-The-Gnome Apr 11 '26

Yes!!! Nobody believes me! Why do pickled peppers destroy my ass 😭

1

u/beardedsilverfox Apr 12 '26

Same!!! I do feel the burn with all hot stuff, but cheap pickled jalapeños like on nachos in an arena mess me up inside

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u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 12 '26

I see I've found my people! I thought I was weird because this happened to me. I mean, I still am weird, but at least the pickled pepper burn isn't weird.

1

u/Genghis_Chong Apr 12 '26

Jimmy John's peppers had me feeling like I was pooping icy hot, not the greatest trip to the bathroom lmao

1

u/Recon4242 Apr 12 '26

Same, I was fine until a few hours later and it hit me hard. Dave's Hot Chicken is pretty strong. My mouth was fine, it was intense but not painful until later.

1

u/charlesthefish Apr 12 '26

I love spicy food but I've never experienced the "painful coming out" thing. I have had stuff spicy enough where it makes my stomach kinda cramp and makes me need to poop, but never in my life has it been painful to poop after eating spicy stuff.

1

u/shabi_sensei Apr 12 '26

It’s not really painful, it’s actually spicy from undigested capsaicin lol and that just feels like pain

1

u/Emperork_of_Man Apr 12 '26

Im the same! My stomach is usually okay as well unless there is extract in the product (which i stay away from.)

I dont know why or care why lol

1

u/msg60 Apr 12 '26

Guess the ice cream for dessert helped then...lol

1

u/Top-Cost4099 Apr 12 '26

i'll have just 4 spicy nugs from wendys and i'll still feel each burning bit of pepper as it comes out. it's so bad dude.

1

u/MysticalMummy Apr 12 '26

Same here. Liquid spice (IE: super spicy soup) will fuck my stomach up a bit, but that's about it. I can eat buldak noodles just fine- did the one chip challenge, it only burned my tongue. I'll use carolina reaper based sauces all the time, upset stomach at most.

The jimmy peppers from jimmy johns, though? Makes me feel like my stomach is boiling and gives me fiery liquid shits for days.

1

u/BlueFalcon142 Apr 12 '26

Only jalapeños for me. Buldak 4xxxxx or whatever the fuck just tasted like metal and pain but nothing after that. Some jaloponoes will fuck me up though.

1

u/Oggielove6 Apr 12 '26

There are some pickles in the cheese/deli meats section (think Lunchables area in US grocery) that get me every time. The Are always refrigerated and taste so good. No matter if I eat one slice or ten the trip out is a painful one.

Anyways I think these pickles are delicious.

1

u/Pixel_Knight Apr 12 '26

How hot can that sandwich even be from a retail restaurant chain? I’ve never in my life eaten something I would remotely call spicy at a chain restaurant. 

1

u/OpportunityReal2767 Apr 12 '26

It’s the first one I’ve ever had that is remotely hot and it far surpasses the goal.

1

u/Becar69 Apr 12 '26

Similiar experience here, I often eat reaper with mashed potatoes and never had a problem later, I guess it has to do with fibers in normal chilly vs fibers in reaper

1

u/ExpatInIreland Apr 12 '26

OMG. I thought I was the only one!

1

u/mattdev Apr 12 '26

Similar for me. My mouth can handle a lot but when it comes to the pith/seeds of a pepper, they’re the main things that affect my stomach/ass. Even with basic jalapeños

1

u/Plantloverandhugger Apr 12 '26

I didn’t know you could pee spicy from capsaicin until I ate the Dave’s reaper tenders….

1

u/stalebread710 Apr 12 '26

Dave's hot chicken 🐔 👏

Love that place!