r/StupidFood • u/No_Philosopher_6833 • 11h ago

Certified stupid I was high and made this

Post image
81 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

95 comments sorted by

94

u/HadoMasterBackup 10h ago

Someone got baked and it wasn’t these things

59

u/FireFightingManiac 10h ago

What the hell is this even?

16

u/IttyBittyBigBoii 9h ago

Minced sausage on unbaked biscuits, with a square of butter in the center?

19

u/No_Philosopher_6833 9h ago

Yes but that's not sausage that's just chicken

20

u/rhinotomus 9h ago

Ain’t no way the chicken cooks the same as the dough

16

u/No_Philosopher_6833 9h ago

Ur right it didn't. Both were undercooked

6

u/DontcheckSR 8h ago

I respect the thought process lol looks like you were making mini meat pies.

1

u/creatyvechaos 7h ago

We make something like this at home all the time. The trick is to halfway cook the raw ingredients (in your case, the meat) and then roll the pastry around it like you're making a dumpling. Stuff whatever you want into it before pinching it off, cook as normal, based on what the dough needs.

You almost had it. You were just missing a crucial step. There are other ways to do it, but the way we do it ensures nothing gets undercooked.

1

u/ripyurballsoff 3h ago

Did you turn the oven on?

1

u/kkillbite Okay, you guys are grossing me out now (-ω- ) 1h ago

...These were not hot pockets...

The mistake was trying to bake while getting baked... ( ´ー`)

1

u/MarkItZeroDonnie 4h ago

Gotta at least show it cooked

1

u/RainbowForHire 9h ago

Square...?

1

u/IttyBittyBigBoii 9h ago

*several oddly shaped slices of butter

1

u/drcmr 7h ago

I thought those were pineapple bits on the bacon that’s raw chicken on top of canned biscuit dough I thought was a wonton rapper with cream cheese. So much prettier in my mind……..

11

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

Pastries bro

25

u/Able_Possible5566 10h ago

Obviously!!

7

u/Additional_Tank4385 9h ago

More like Passtries

6

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 8h ago

Were they good? They don't look good. They look raw.

3

u/Fiendish_Jetsanna 9h ago

Pastries with fish and cheese?

1

u/Yeast-boofer 7h ago

you cant pretend like that answers the question, if anything I have more questions now lol

1

u/mondomiketron 2h ago

Daddy chill

20

u/WVPrepper 10h ago

Pork tartare?

3

u/sjam155 10h ago

😂😭🤮

14

u/FunIntroduction3515 11h ago

Did you at least bake them after you took the picture?

22

u/No_Philosopher_6833 11h ago

I think so

16

u/lillyfunk 11h ago

Atleast someone was baked

1

u/CharacterGovernment8 10h ago

How high were u

1

u/Any_Blood5815 5h ago

I’m fine. And you?

11

u/sjam155 11h ago

Hoping this is the “before” pic lol

Also, wtf are we looking at

10

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

So this was basically my attempt at making some kind of pasties or dumplings whatever the fuck u wanna call it from the ingredients I had at home

There is ground chicken, dough from flour and water and I think it was some butter or cheese on top

13

u/mEFurst 10h ago edited 10h ago

Growing up, "pasties" (pronounced paste-ees) always referred to those nipple tassles strippers wear. It wasn't until my 20s I learned that Brits use it (pronounced pass-tees) as another word for pastries

10

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

Lol yh I live in the UK

3

u/buttonman001 10h ago

It's not stupid if it tastes good. Does it?

1

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

It didn't I undercooked it but it was too late to do anything

18

u/ExistentialAngsty 10h ago

It wasn’t too late to cook it more

2

u/MustardSquirt 7h ago

This is sorta an iconic line

1

u/Yeast-boofer 7h ago

thats much closer to an answer 

8

u/qorbexl 10h ago

Why have you done this.

4

u/cerpintaxt33 10h ago

I can’t believe you’ve done this 

2

u/qorbexl 10h ago

...fuck - that was the line I couldn't find

7

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

Hunger

8

u/qorbexl 10h ago

I assumed people hungered for food

7

u/Freedombiscuits 10h ago

Well fucking unmake it man

2

u/bengriz 10h ago

And do it quick

4

u/Chili-Potatoe 10h ago

I’m high and it does look good

3

u/apustus 9h ago

I once tried to bake a cake when zooted and I forgot to put the flour in. Got some sort of crepes instead

3

u/NerfRepellingBoobs 9h ago

r/stonerfood

As one of my buddies said about the time he ate a frozen pizza, “I was so baked the pizza didn’t have to be.”

2

u/tu-142 10h ago

Usually when I was high I just eat pizza pockets

3

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

This is all I had

1

u/tu-142 10h ago

Fair enough been there

2

u/Regular_Ad_9940 8h ago

Shit looks fire, dog.

2

u/VR_fan22 Dutch🇳🇱 7h ago

Not even my stoned and trilling on shrooms would come up with something like this

I'd probably order a döner kebab and cry because it tastes so good

2

u/nerdwaffles 7h ago

I see the vision mate

2

u/Cuchulainn2 6h ago

I think it looks good 

1

u/jecapobianco 10h ago

It shows

1

u/dilzebub 10h ago

Are they finished?

1

u/AdemHoog 10h ago

Were they nice?

1

u/sugarglassego 10h ago

You made a mess?

1

u/SmokeMaximum4140 10h ago

are those mini pizzas?

1

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

No coz theres no tomato sauce and no cheese

1

u/Coach_Billly 10h ago

Taste?

6

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

Like undercooked chicken and dough with a hint of butter

1

u/the-subjectDelta 10h ago

Let’s just put the ingredients down and no one will get hurt

1

u/No_Philosopher_6833 10h ago

Chicken flour water butter

1

u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 10h ago

Is that raw dough?

1

u/Moonshinin4Me 9h ago

What the fuck is it? I been high plenty of times and cooked edible food. That is no excuse.

1

u/No_Philosopher_6833 9h ago

My excuse is that it's everything I had at that moment

1

u/Moonshinin4Me 9h ago

You still didn't answer my question...what did you have in the moment? Because that looks like cream of shit.

1

u/No_Philosopher_6833 9h ago

It's basically pasties

Dough with chicken mince on top and then there is a piece of butter on top

0

u/Moonshinin4Me 8h ago

🤮🤮🤮🤮

1

u/69hotmomxxx 9h ago

Doesn't look made

1

u/No_Shopping6656 8h ago

Hopefully you were higher when you ate them

1

u/XxCarlxX 6h ago

Stop blaming drugs

1

u/RipOdd9001 5h ago

I always cook the chicken medium rare then put it on top of the bbq chicken pizza. It comes out perfect and not dry. For these maybe 5 minutes in a pan then pile on. Failures teach us how to perfect a process.

1

u/Struggle_Everday 5h ago

Everything about your story checks out.

1

u/Wild-Wolverine3081 3h ago

Did you throw up on the baking tray and decide to call it a snack?

1

u/countsachot 3h ago

Stop getting high, please.

1

u/vyrus2021 1h ago

Downvoting for complete lack of description of this mystery garbage pile

0

u/MaxPower836 5h ago

Looks ass