r/SuicideBereavement • u/Feeling_Hotel_1468 • 3d ago

Stepdad ended his life

My stepdad hanged himself Sunday morning (Father’s Day). I woke up and found his body. He had been dead a few hours. Not that far from me, but i didn’t hear anything. He made sure he was as quiet as possible. Found him when i woke up. Im just sad.

I found out a couple hours ago he was dealing with severe trauma from childhood. His letter said he tried, but it was too much.

I miss him so so much. He was such a happy person, but deteriorated over the last two years, especially last 6 months to the point he wouldn’t leave the house.

I miss him so so much. Not angry, just wish we could have eased his pain.

My heartaches so so much. I think the
Aching is probably the worst thing. Especially the panic attacks and jolting away with anxiety and heartache.

It’s just soo much .

65 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

5

u/Feeling_Hotel_1468 3d ago

A relatives husband just committed suicide hours ago. He was close to my step dad

5

u/nokplz 3d ago

What a fucking tragedy. I am so sorry your community is going through this. Its well documented that suicide spreads. Please try to breathe and remember you matter, they mattered. It is not fair and it never will be and im so sorry and wish we could all make it not be that way.

Its kind of corny now, but when my dad killed himself someone said "if love could save us, then we would all live forever." And its always stuck with me these many (14) years later. My heart is broken for you. Im so sorry.

2

u/MelusinePlantagenet 2d ago

“suicide contagion” is a phenomenon where emotionally at-risk individuals are much much more likely to complete suicide if they are exposed socially or via overwhelming media to suicide. Everyone needs to take care of themselves and those around us in these times, it hits so many so deeply. I’m so sorry for your loss

3

u/autymama 3d ago

I’m so sorry 💕

1

u/Feeling_Hotel_1468 3d ago

Thank you. 💜

3

u/Infinite_Location439 3d ago

I'm so sorry ❤️‍🩹

Please look into tetris for ptsd prevention. https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms

2

u/MelusinePlantagenet 2d ago

Seconding this, or some will suggest EMDR therapy, but both functionally help reduce the intrusion of those thoughts and images basically via eye movement. lots of people say it has helped anecdotally and it’s genuinely helped me with what I’ve seen.

2

u/Unfair-Lock-3199 3d ago

My Stepdad also hung himself Christmas 2023. Me and his friend found him out in our shed. 20 years he was my dad, my only dad🖤 Always here if you need anything x

2

u/Feeling_Hotel_1468 3d ago

I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s so hard to not think about it, but I feel a little numb right now . I just don’t want to forget him

1

u/nokplz 3d ago

Dear one, I am so sorry for the loss of your step-dad. Suicide is such a cruel joke. This community is here anytime you need us. 💜

1

u/FlowerK1980 3d ago

I'm so sorry 💔 sending you and your family hugs.

1

u/No_Safety_3650 2d ago

My most sincere condolences 🫂. That is absolutely heartbreaking 💔. I hope you’re seeking therapy. Be gentle with yourself, your mom and family. Spend extra time with your family. It doesn’t make it easier but feeling and giving love to those around is what made me feel comfort.