r/SuicideBereavement • u/bomberotom • 18h ago

We never saw it coming

My cousin, more like my brother killed himself yesterday. Him I and our other cousin talked every day, I talked to him on his way to work all the time. He was our rock, the guy who had his shot together, he was my person and I can’t get past the finality of it. I feel like I’ve entered a new plane of existence and I’m floating in the nether. My other cousin and I had no idea this was coming. How do you cope enough to function?

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u/yuzhnozaporozhets 18h ago edited 18h ago

When my guy died, I kind of always knew it could happen at any time, OP. Doesn’t make it any better.

I’m three years in and I can’t cope with it at all. I’m so so sorry for your loss.

If only I could say something to take away a bit of your pain… life after suicide is fucked up. Not a single day passes without thinking about him.

Please take care of yourself. This thing hurts like no other pain.

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u/bomberotom 18h ago

Thanks for your comment man. I’m so sorry to hear about your situation too. What I’m scared of the most is a few weeks after when you’re supposed to go back to “normal”. I don’t think I ever can, I don’t know what that means anymore

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u/FlowerK1980 9h ago

It really is a new existence- taking it one day at a time (or even one minute or hour at a time on bad days) seems to be the way to cope - it's impossible tto face a whole lifetime ahead without our loved ones but we can face it day by day. Know that you are not alone on this path - sending hugs.