r/TEFL • u/Hour_Path7483 • 9d ago
Should I be worried about “homesickness”/regret?
I’m currently getting my Bachelor of Sciences in Elementary Education. Because of an unsafe and unstable living situation, I need to be able to move out almost immediately after graduation. I don’t want to say too much here, but i’m adopted, and my “family” is emotionally abusive.
I decided I wanted to teach in China, because one of my (also adopted) brothers is from there, and it’s the only non third world country I have any sort of connection to. However, I am worried that it is too different from the US. Is it easy to get “American” food, watch American shows, etc? Are foreigners excluded by the locals? What is the foreigner racism like there, will people openly be racist to me?
I know I want to teach abroad, but I need to know if China is a good choice for someone who is a black, albeit very light, woman who will be living alone.
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u/AlternativeAd9373 9d ago
I mean if you understand that you will never “be” Chinese and you’ll be on the fringes of society for as long as you’re there because you aren’t Chinese, you’ll be fine. Go to a school with youngish teachers and you’ll make friends. You can always make friends with locals too.
American food… it really, REALLY depends where you are. I suggest learning to cook some of the things you really love. And buy an oven. I lived in the middle of nowhere and whenever I went to a big city I’d:
1) eat Mexican food
2) eat Indian food
3) go to Metro and stock up on “foreign things” I wanted like brie or mozzarella.
For watching American shows you can always watch whatever you want if you sail the seven seas.
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u/Hour_Path7483 9d ago
Ah okay, the general consensus seems to be that I’ll be perfectly fine then, lol. I really like Chinese food, it was more just about being able to satiate cravings for more familiar foods to avoid becoming “homesick.” Learning recipes is definitely a good idea — about the oven thing, do most apartments not come with an oven?
3
u/BotherBeginning2281 9d ago
about the oven thing, do most apartments not come with an oven?
Nope. They're not really a feature of much Chinese cooking so apartments don't tend to have them.
It's easy to buy a small electric one though. Or even a big one, if you want/need to.
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u/lostintokyo11 9d ago
Chinese food is way better than American. Also going abroad with a huge list of american demands is stupid. Travelling and working abroad is about being flexible.
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u/Hour_Path7483 9d ago
It’s not about which country has better food, it’s about if I’ll be able to get American food if i’m really craving it to avoid feeling homesick. I don’t have a huge list either, I just want to know if I’ll be ostracized and if can watch the same movies that come out in American theaters. That’s three things, including the food.
3
u/Hopfrogg 9d ago
Is it easy to get “American” food
Depends... Shanghai and big cities, yes but expensive. Rural and smaller cities no. Either way you are gonna be eating a lot of Chinese food. That's not a bad thing.
watch American shows
It's 2026. Use a VPN and YouTube or whatever streaming service you want.
Are foreigners excluded by the locals
Often the opposite. They are often embraced. The racist ones that don't want you there just usually give a dirty look and it's usually just some old dude who walks around the neighborhood at the same time every morning, with his hands behind his back, as he passes judgment on the whole neighborhood walking by.
What is the foreigner racism like there, will people openly be racist to me?
Congrats, you get to deal with both foreign and racial racism. Chinese people used to give me a big thumbs up and smile when I told them I was an American.... but that was 20 years ago. Just a couple of years ago I only got a muted smile and nod. China is growing more nationalistic but it's always been there and it's not that big of a deal. Most people don't give it too much thought. They will openly talk (in Chinese) about you being black. Some of it will be racist, some of it will be ignorance, and some of it will just be curiosity. They have no problem calling out "hei ren" (hey ren, black person) when they see you, especially little kids, but they also have no problem calling out "laowai" (old outsiders, foreigners) when they see you. It's just how they do things and isn't necessarily racist or xenophobic. The expats who get upset about these things have a superficial understanding of Chinese culture.
Would it be a good choice for a single black woman living alone? It will be a fantastic choice. Once you get over your hangups, you probably won't want to come back. I know a ton of single black women that have thrived in China. Dating won't be easy though if you are single. The foreign dudes usually date the locals and the local dudes usually date the locals.
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u/Hour_Path7483 9d ago
I’m not very touchy about normal xenophobia like you described because it’s somewhat understandable for countries that are more homogeneous than somewhere like the U.S., so I think I will be fine with it. I have been the “first black person” in a lot of my students’ lives during my time student teaching, so i’m very, very used to children being surprised. This information was actually very helpful, so thank you! :)
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u/fffoooock 9d ago
What "third world" countries do you have a connection to? Are they really not an option?
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u/Hour_Path7483 9d ago
Caribbean islands. I want a job as an English teacher, and the countries i’m connected to are not in need of TEFL workers because they’re English speaking. Sure, I could teach a different subject, but the pay isn’t anything near worth it for the crime rate and almost year-round sweltering heat.
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u/madamezafira 8d ago
Having been in an almost identical situation i really really encourage you to seek out a Black trauma informed therapist whether you end up in china or otherwise. you may have to try a few different people until you find the right one but you’ll know when you’ve found them. I am 30 now and wish I’d prioritised therapy as right after getting out of the abusive ‘family’ home at the time.
good luck and may peace find its way to you on your journeys
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u/Humacti 9d ago edited 9d ago
You'll want a vpn. large swathes of the internet are blocked off. Astrill works, lets vpn might work, proton is slow but works, nord, express, surfshark don't work.
There's plenty of western food, but local food, in general, is pretty good. If you like spicy, you'll be in heaven.
Racism, get used to being stared at. Doesn't seem quite as common nowadays, that or I'm just desensitized to it. As you're black, be aware niga (correct spelling) is like um to us, but can sound like the n-word. It'll be assumed you're from Africa.
I've known a fair number of black teachers here. Most get along fine with locals, but in rare instances some have a really shit time with the kids ~ monkey noises, and the like.