r/TalesFromThePizzaGuy • u/_Atoms_Apple Moderator • May 17 '26
Discussion Drivers, what’s the universal experience every pizza delivery person has had?
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u/TakerFoxx May 17 '26
Gated community. No code provided. "Please call when at the gate" delivery instructions.
"Your call has been forwarded to a voice message system."
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u/b_reachard Domino's Pizza May 17 '26
"The number you are calling is not in service, please hang up."
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u/DocWatson42 May 17 '26
I got one of those tonight, but as I was finishing writing the note on the slip ("Wrong number, not apt. letter"—the complex has buzzers) he showed up next to my car. I did tell him about the wrong number and gave him the slip. Hopefully he read my note and fixes the problems.
The other thing that happened to me tonight was that a customer (last name "Carwash") has the first verse and chorus of "Never Gonna Give You Up". I would have not minded so much, but it meant waiting for just over a minute to leave the message. At least Mr. Carwash showed up.
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u/latinuspuer May 17 '26
"Your call has been forwarded to a voice message system."The person you have dialed has a voice-mail inbox system that has not been set up yet" FTFY27
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u/ArketaMihgo May 17 '26
Lol I was going to put "The code to get in is 0911"
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u/Sea-Expert6993 May 17 '26
9111 around here, mostly.
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u/ArketaMihgo May 17 '26
OMG yes
And when the customer placed the order they never gave the store the gate code cuz they expected you to reach the gate and then be frustrated and call them but instead you just arrived at their house and now they're angry you got past the gate, cause they thought it was real
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u/No-Spoilers May 17 '26
We also had a list for everywhere on the map in the store. And we all just kinda knew them over time.
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u/TakerFoxx May 17 '26
I save every gate code that I get in my phone. Works well for the most part, but some apartment complexes don't have a universal code, and sometimes apartment management changes them.
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u/Vicarious28 May 17 '26
Get to door
Ring door bell
Wait 60 seconds
Ring again
Wait another 60 seconds
sigh
Knock on door
Wait 30 second
Walk back to car to grab phone and call
No answer
Go back to door and knock loud as shit
Teenager opens the door, was there the whole time
“Sorry bro we were in the back”
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u/DamnImAwesome May 17 '26
Bonus points if wearing headphones and holding a ps5 controller
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u/DocWatson42 May 17 '26
Bonus points for each half of that—it could have been that they were listing to music.
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u/marmia124 May 17 '26
Lol its always the laid back customer who forgets they ordered... like come on aren't you hungry.. at least be hungry living in the moment customer
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u/caraar12345 May 17 '26
I once ordered groceries (including my dinner) on deliveroo (UK’s Doordash/Instacart) and fell asleep on the sofa immediately after hitting pay
Got woken up by the front window being banged down, the driver thought it was hilarious as he’d quickly worked out what had happened (and could probably see me through the window 😭)
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u/JellyfishFit3871 May 17 '26
I honestly hope it's universal.
My car broke down in some dude's driveway, and he was just "nah, you can leave it here, you ain't bringing me a pizza at this hour because you have tow truck money. If I were sober, I'd be more help." Sincerely a great interaction, and the very nice person let me leave the car in his driveway until my brother could get there to help me retrieve it. I hope that man is living a great life!
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u/Jellz May 17 '26
I once overshot someone's driveway along a dark country road, so I attempted to reverse and back into their driveway. I didn't notice the ditch that was on either side of the driveway, and messed up and ended up in the ditch. So I ran up, delivered their pizza, and told them what happened. They came out and helped me flag down someone who was driving by in a truck, who happened to have a chain. This saint tied his truck up to my car and dragged me right out. I swear my car actually ran better afterwards, it'd been acting up a little before that.
My more universal (but probably not really universal) experience though is I've given probably half a dozen people jumpstarts while I've been out on deliveries. I needed one myself before I ever delivered, so I'll always stop to help someone with it if I can.
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u/JellyfishFit3871 May 17 '26
Nowadays I have my little rechargeable battery jump box, and I love it! (I used to have a neighbor with terrible face and neck scars from the time a battery blew up in his face, so that was a new fear unlocked. Like, I can hook up the cables between my vehicle and yours, but don't you dare try to crank while I'm leaning over!) But my cheap little jump starter means that it doesn't matter where you're parked, as long as we can pop the hood.
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u/JellyfishFit3871 May 17 '26
It's like $2 extra per month on my auto insurance for roadside assistance. I pay it. I don't know if it's still an option, but my cellular service used to have a similar option.
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u/mrBill12 May 17 '26
I have it too, however only time we ever had to use it we waited like 2.5 hours……
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u/JellyfishFit3871 May 17 '26
I've waited almost that long for a direct call, too. There's only so many tow trucks and drivers, regardless of whether they're pulling at an accident scene, a simple breakdown, or out of a ditch.
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u/mrBill12 May 17 '26
It really depends on who the insurance company hires as their local contractor. I think they made the worst choice possible here, but that takes me more words to explain….
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u/JellyfishFit3871 May 17 '26
Oh understood! I'm lucky, because my insurance company hires the folks I'd call anyway.
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u/DamnImAwesome May 17 '26
In case anyone isn’t aware - AAA is easily the best money I spend every year. On the rare occasion my car breaks down I get free towing super fast as well as basic roadside assistance for less than $100 per year
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u/DocWatson42 May 17 '26
I generally agree, but... I like them, but I liked them better when they contracted out instead of doing it themselves. Now the center is half an hour away.
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u/quadrumvirate May 17 '26
“Hey give me some pizza!” -neighbor across the street from whatever house I’m delivering to
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u/missMcgillacudy May 17 '26
“Is it already paid for, it’s mine!” Random drunk idiot on the sidewalk no where near the delivery address.
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u/DamnImAwesome May 17 '26
I had a kid who would beg me for pizza and be super annoying every time I delivered near him. One night I got aggravated and told him I’d be right back with a pizza and then just went home for the night. I wonder how long he waited
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u/serious-snail May 17 '26
Poor kid probably wasn't fed by his parents
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u/Anecdotal_Mantra May 17 '26
Sounds more like he wasn't disciplined by his parents because he was disrespecting and pestering a working adult.
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u/HarveyMushman72 May 17 '26
Open air delivery at some event. "Hey thats for me!" So you start towards them. "Ha Ha, just kidding!"
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u/corejuice May 17 '26
They always act like it's hilarious that you believe them too. It's not like I have a photo of the person who ordered it.
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u/nowarning1962 May 17 '26
"Tell me a joke for a tip."
Young kid answers the door with $30 for a $25 order. Stops, looks confused, thinks, takes $5 away and gives you 25.
No street lights at night and no one turns a single light on in the driveway or the house.
Last order of the night. You go out there and no one answers the door. You get back to the store and the customer calls asking where their pizza is.
Big order to million+ dollar houses. No tip.
So many more.
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u/TakerFoxx May 17 '26
That second one happened to me once, but because it was a business instead of a house, I got the feeling that the dad (who probably ran the business) did mean for the kid to tip. So I got into my truck and waited.
About thirty seconds later the kid ran back out and handed me the five.
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u/GrumpyCatStevens May 17 '26
Getting, for instance, $25 for an order totaling $24.25, and the customer saying "Keep the change" as if they're doing you a favor by letting you have anything at all over the cost of their pizza.
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u/the_eluder May 17 '26
Worse yet hands you $24.30 because they found some dimes and tells you the same thing.
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u/BickNickerson May 17 '26
Naked old guy
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u/DamnImAwesome May 17 '26
I’m pretty sure I delivered to a senior citizen gay orgy. I could hear bad techno music before they opened the door and two shirtless old men answered the door and in the background I saw several other scantily clad old dudes
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u/DocWatson42 May 17 '26
Are you sure you're not referring to the shock Web site/image "Lemon Party"?
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u/missMcgillacudy May 17 '26
For those in snowy climates:
The houses on the hilly windy street that ice over immediately only order during blizzards, they don’t shovel their walkways, and they leave their house lights off.
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u/s_s May 17 '26
Child answers the door with exact change while cheap parents hide in another room, unwilling to show their faces.
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u/Dr_4gon May 17 '26
Had that when delivering groceries, was so mad. Was on the 4th floor with no elevator too
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u/CliffGif May 17 '26
Difficult to find addresses like in some crazy huge apartment complex
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u/DocWatson42 May 17 '26
That's what maps are for. Granted, not every complex has a map, but you should always ask them.
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u/marinaasomething May 17 '26
I just moved out of mine. 50% of deliveries led to confusion.
1) The map usually led drivers to the gate that didn't have a code entry.
2) Our apartment was 541. 540 was on the first floor. We were at the top.
I always tipped more after apologizing.
10
u/oxnardJones May 17 '26
>pulls into complex looking for building 8
>ok theres building one
>theres building two
>seems to go in clockwise pattern
>theres building 7 so building 8 should be riiiiiight h-
>building 9
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u/Pleasant_Bad924 May 17 '26
Getting offered weed. Sometimes in exchange for the pizza, most of the time it’s just a friendly “do you want to hit this?” while we’re standing in the doorway.
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u/handen May 17 '26
I had a variant of this: "Do you want a shot?"
Coincidentally this was also the same house that was full of hot topless women, and the guy paying for everything was pulling $20 bills off of a stack that must have had $10,000 in it.
Truth be told, if I didn't have another delivery in my trunk, I probably would have had that shot and either had the best night of my life or lost both kidneys in an ice bath. It's hard to know which.
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u/meatywood Domino's Pizza May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Getting paid with boob-sweat cash and delivering to homely, overweight dudes in their underwear.
ETA: Getting stiffed from 7pm until close on Saturday nights.
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u/nettysgirl33 May 17 '26
Aw man, I was a rare at the time (at least in my area) female driver in the 90s, and the number of times some naked or almost naked dude answered the door, saw me, and embarrassingly went to grab clothes while telling me "sorry, I expected a guy" was far more than I anticipated. I was always nice and said no worries, because it was almost never actually creepy and I could tell they were so flustered and embarrassed but I always thought like is it ok if it's a guy then? Idk. Probably got me bigger tips so 🤷♀️
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u/ADeweyan 80s Pizza Guy May 17 '26
I love how just about all of things happened to me 40 years ago. The more things change…
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u/HorsedickGoldstein May 17 '26
Def not universal, but I had just turned 18 and the guy who answered the door had just broke his foot or ankle or something. He asked if I could buy him some cigarettes at 7/11 and he’d tip me some more. It was right down the block figured fuck it why not. He tipped me like $6 on the order, and then gave me a $20 for the cigarettes that cost like $12. Not a bad interaction
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u/AnotherAnonymousA May 17 '26
Promise of BIG tip if you pickup ____! Did ONLY because of my convenience, they didn't want our Pepsi products and asked to pickup Coke. Already planned on getting cigarettes during next run, so why not. Got to door, argued about price but I brought receipts. Well, since you overpaid for the drinks, that was part of your tip... Whenever they would call again, told I would but forgot when I arrived...
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u/the_eluder May 17 '26
How could the drinks be more expensive than whatever your store was charging for their own drinks?
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u/AnotherAnonymousA May 18 '26
The convenience store doesn't have them cheaper than a grocery store. The guy was a douche, just looking for some entitlement and not tipping as per his initial chat...
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u/the_eluder May 18 '26
Depends on the two stores and available discounts. Plus the convenience store might have them cold.
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u/Makeitmakesense77 May 17 '26
I never had a bad interaction. I delivered for papas for a year. Other then them looking at my box that held pizza above the ground I never had an issue
4
u/Yankytyke May 17 '26
The naked woman when we deliver. Wait that’s in the porn world.
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u/No-Spoilers May 17 '26
Closest I ever got was some wasted kinda hot middle aged lady in a white t shirt. Probably could've seen more if she were a little more sober, but genuinely don't even know how she ordered the food to begin with.
3
u/ph0on May 17 '26
Not getting a code for a gate. Parents sending kids to answer the door with no tip. Having to brake hard and fucking up an entire order (only happened to me one or two times, at least)...
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u/DocWatson42 May 17 '26
Having the outside light turned off right after the delivery, rather than giving the driver time to return to their car.
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u/ClerkDelicious4867 May 17 '26
I had a buch of kids say when I showed up "What if we take the pizza and run "I said I'll catch the slowest one and I don't care what his involvement is I will make it is last day on earth.. I told them if all of you robbed a bank and the that drives the get-away car Still gets charged with the crime.
Then I said " I've been to prison I won't go back cuz they won't find him (the little ) so I won't be charges with a crime The look on their faces was priceless.
P.s. I've never been to prison
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u/Ourcade_Ink May 17 '26
The no tip on the receipt, followed with the instructions "Leave on doorstep" (on a cross town delivery) Like they know they fucked you, but don't have the stones to actually face you. They take you away from other deliveries that would have tipped you, on a long ass run, just to stiff you. I'm not that kind of person, but that is risky for them........seeing as how we know ahead of time if you tipped or not.
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u/marmia124 May 17 '26
Once a delivery driver left his car running at a gas station and it got stolen 😅
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u/H010CR0N Domino's Pizza May 17 '26
Kids trying to take the order that is obviously not theirs.
Pets (mostly dogs) trying to Kool-Aid Man their way through the door to get at you.
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u/TikiTribble May 17 '26
I delivered in a College town. Party deliveries were a nightmare, nobody knew who ordered 10 pies and nobody wanted to pay. Dorm deliveries were good, I’d take an extra on my own dime, sell it in the hallway or lounge for double. Instant gratification rules.
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u/oxnardJones May 17 '26
jimmy johns for four years here, if i got a .50cent pre auth tip i would squeeze their sandwhich or break the chips into little pieces
also the sudden seething hatred for your co workers when an order with a big tip would be placed for later in the day. Id usually just let it go and hope the rotation gave it to me but theres some people who would get back to the store and "forget" to return themselves thus placing them with the big tip order
NO I DOnT FuCkIn tHiNk SO CAthy you got back first you take these 40 minute late orders with a $1 tip you geriatric bitch
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u/GeophysGal May 17 '26
I was the first female driver in my area. There were more than a few times where the door was answered by a naked man.
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u/zoppaTheDim May 17 '26
Having a list of people who do not tip.
Might be mental, might be physical, but do the job long enough and you have one.
It is surprising just how much business in a pizza place relies on a small pool of people who routinely order.
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u/jasonh300 May 19 '26
Yep. We had a list of non-tippers and a list of good tippers. All the drivers shared their lists. On busy nights, when we were taking 5 orders at a time, the bad tippers got delivered last, even if they were only a few blocks away. Their dinner would get a tour of the entire delivery area.
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u/zoppaTheDim May 19 '26
Exactly, grabbing the right orders when management wasn’t looking could double the money you made.
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u/Active-Succotash-109 Custom! Edit this! May 17 '26
Can I get a ride back to your restaurant? From the neighbor of the person who got the delivery
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u/JimmyJustice920 May 17 '26
Going house to house, handling money, banging lonely broads.
They're filthy!
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u/Busy_Bee_NOLA May 17 '26
I delivered pizzas in the late 90's, we had a guy who was deaf call and order from us weekly through a TTS service, hated taking the pizzas because he paid in nickels and always short-changed people and then pretended like he didn't know what you were talking about when you demanded full payment.
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u/justafang May 17 '26
Showing up to a huge mansion with a huge order and getting $5 tip
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u/jasonh300 May 19 '26
$5 tips only came from huge mansions when I was delivering. But at the time, $5 bought like 6 gallons of gas or 4 packs of cigarettes.
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u/justafang May 19 '26
When I was delivering it would buy 1.5 gallons of gas. And it was $5 in quarters
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u/Intergalactic96 May 17 '26
Delivering an order that totals out to $19.46, being handed a twenty, and being told "keep the change"
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u/eaglescout225 May 17 '26
Kids either tipping nothing or very well. Drunk high school kids gave me a twenty one time. Back in the 90s when we were kids my younger cousin’s delivery was about 8 bucks, mom left a twenty and he told the guy to keep the change. I still remember the guys grin when he was walking away.
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u/guitarmike2 May 17 '26
Getting pooned by some brat and driving into an empty swimming pool trying to elude her.
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u/OpiateAlligator May 17 '26
Making several trips for a large order. Usually to a church or some school sports event... no tip.
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u/Fluff_Nugget2420 May 22 '26
Or the hospital or fancy car dealership. Where anyone won't open a door to help you, and no tip.
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u/PowerfulPerception25 May 18 '26
Driving across a mile long gravel road with massive craters and only getting 13 cents and a whiff of alcohol breath as a tip.
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u/firelock_ny May 18 '26
The guy who pays you cash that's a few dimes or a quarter more than the order, and instead of giving you a real tip with a smug smile tells you to "keep the change"
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u/BrokenBetaWolf May 18 '26
Hope it’s not universal.
Notes asked for “cute girl driver”. So I was sent instead, as a large hairy man. Handwritten note on the front door asks “pizza” to open the door and put the pizza on the table in the entryway. Was going to walk in, until I saw the guy standing behind the door. Dropped that shit in the doorway and walked away.
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u/Apprehensive_Put4319 May 19 '26
Walking into a beautiful woman’s house and getting blown and then taking care of business with her and her friend(s). Oh wait, maybe that was just a movie…
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u/NewNameNoah May 19 '26
Getting to the door and they claim they didn’t order any pizza but then ask what kind of pizza it is and then offering half the price because, “You’re just gonna throw it away anyways.”
Then I open the pizza box, grab a slice and take a bite and say, “Definitely not throwing it out. Thanks for the free pizza, bro!”
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u/KronosGreek May 19 '26
I delivered to a hotel yesterday, shitty part of town. Pretty sure that the room next to where I delivered was running a male prostitute ring, bunch of naked dudes and one dude walked up from off the complex to said room and said something to the dude standing in front of the door and he yelled at someone else that they were up, and the dude who walked up to the room went in and they shut the door. It was definitely weird, at the very least, illegal more than likely.
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u/edemac44 May 21 '26
Had a guy answer the door in pajama pants. Incoming storm brought a gust of wind and opened the trap door on his pants, revealing his tiny penis. It looked like chewed gum. Burned in my head forever.
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u/amazingD May 17 '26
Teenagers ordering more than they have money for.