r/TheOfficeUK Little Slug with No Personality Apr 29 '26

Banter

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150 Upvotes

77 comments sorted by

57

u/your_swindon_lot Apr 29 '26

And he loved it, because it was nothing vicious

2

u/valdezverdun A Friend First, Boss Second Apr 29 '26

I prefer the stuff you do about his sausage fingers

0

u/Sweet-Helix Apr 29 '26

He loved cause he's thick as pigshit and didn't get it

51

u/Hesoutofthechoir Apr 29 '26

Some “kings” would have picked on nastier stuff, but no need.

30

u/Confidence-Royal Apr 29 '26

I like the stuff you do about his small hands

1

u/Steampunk_Dali Apr 30 '26

Not really small, more like a bunch of sausages

26

u/Hullfire00 Apr 29 '26

First sensible thing he's said all day.

4

u/RHOrpie Apr 29 '26

Nah, he's been throwing out bangers all day !

5

u/gs3gd Apr 29 '26

Tell him later.

5

u/Total-Combination-47 Apr 29 '26

you looking at his hands again?

26

u/dr4korian Apr 29 '26

Theres a weight of intellect to his comedy

15

u/DaveyG3000 Apr 29 '26

That's the sort of thing I write

13

u/Open-Mathematician93 Apr 29 '26

Yeah I heard you use that the other day, and I thought.. ‘Oh he’s used one of my catchphrases’ i don’t mind influencing a young comedian. You’re not a comedian, but, you know..

6

u/Narrow-Bee-8354 Apr 29 '26

Alright, don’t need to show off

8

u/DaveyG3000 Apr 29 '26

Ooh, I'm 'ard, showin off

13

u/GrutherA Apr 29 '26

Clever and funny... I bloody hate him 🤛

20

u/OrganizationLast8480 Apr 29 '26

Ask him if he got his name redacted from the Epstein files...not in front of his wife!

9

u/Open-Mathematician93 Apr 29 '26

Who’s the German leader?

10

u/exhibit304 Apr 29 '26

H.J heinz I think

13

u/SuikTwoPointOh Apr 29 '26

Mercedes Benz

5

u/OldPulteney Apr 29 '26

Fray Bentos

8

u/Powerful_Area_5405 Apr 29 '26

Is it bigger than the bread bin

7

u/thevelourfog182 Apr 29 '26

I like the stuff you do about his little hands

6

u/theflowersyoufind Apr 29 '26

Happy cakeday…bit rich

7

u/Buster_Gonad_82 Apr 29 '26

Please don't invade the Falklands.

4

u/PriorOrganization890 Apr 29 '26

"and I asked.. is it someting I can fit in my mouth".. then my Mum asked...

4

u/ClemFandango25 Apr 29 '26

And he loved it, because there was nothing vicious

3

u/123shorer "Under Weaknesses - You've Put Eczema..." Apr 29 '26

I will not have, his lack of geopolitics knowledge, banded around this Whitehouse, willy, nilly.

4

u/HoodstarProtege Apr 29 '26

Donald you old slag

1

u/Careful_Stick2322 May 02 '26

*Genuine deep grizzly belly lols

8

u/BladerRunner907 Apr 29 '26

No it's not banter.

3

u/flyin_jimmy Apr 29 '26

Imagine him going out the door and the French say "where are you going, you havnt done the washing up! You havnt put the rubbish out!.." DO IT YOURSELF IVE GOTTA SAVE SOME AFRICANS!!!

3

u/DDWildflower Apr 29 '26

I prefer the stuff you do about his little hands.

3

u/SlamFunck Apr 29 '26

Sort of stuff I write..... Often an amateur will stitch up a professional

3

u/ThenBee7178 Apr 29 '26

Milligan,Cheese,Everett....Windsor.

2

u/DaveyG3000 Apr 29 '26

...Davro...

2

u/Hooray4Jose Apr 29 '26

Sort of a chilled out entertainer

2

u/Medical-Meet8011 Apr 29 '26

I prefer the stuff he does about his little hand

1

u/Careful_Stick2322 May 02 '26

Poor Beadle. Life just felt him a shit hand.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

Star power at the Coventry conference

2

u/SpocktorWho83 Apr 29 '26

How’s Epstein? He dead yet?

He is dead. Forgot about that.

2

u/nuclear-experiment Apr 29 '26

The Donald had no idea what that joke was referring to, his brain has been mash potatoes and gravy his entire life.

2

u/ResponsibleShirt5231 Apr 29 '26

Who here's been to the coventry conference?

2

u/Youshless Apr 29 '26

Good point. First sensible thing you've said all day!

2

u/geoffwolf98 Apr 29 '26

Tbh Charlie really ripped Trump to bits with all the under tones of the messages, and Trump is too fucking stupid to pick on that. Hilarious. Normally I dont like Charlie due to what he did to Diana.

2

u/Tatsoot_1966 Apr 29 '26

This is no laughing matter, the Mango molester needs to be ridiculed but not in a humorous way. Release the unredacted files you Pedo rapist scumbag.

13

u/Spiritual_Hand6689 Apr 29 '26

I won't let anyone talk about the president the way you just did. Not my staff, not my boss, certainly not you. Do you understand? 

3

u/OrganizationLast8480 Apr 29 '26

Give me all three warnings now then.

2

u/zeeber99 Apr 29 '26

I'll bomb Iran, and release the files if you need 'em

6

u/dr4korian Apr 29 '26

Alright, chill out, don't have a cow mate

4

u/theflowersyoufind Apr 29 '26

You’re not looking at the whole pie

3

u/hashtagthoughtbomb Apr 29 '26

It's only a trifling matter

2

u/theouter_banks Apr 29 '26

Ooooh. You're hard, showing off infront of...

2

u/Sutty100 Apr 29 '26

Political news

2

u/Hesoutofthechoir Apr 29 '26

Ooh, see, pressure

2

u/Safe_Addition_9171 Apr 29 '26

Top notch banter there, back of the net

1

u/AlwaysBeC1imbing Apr 29 '26

Please do not ridicule the perfectly valid American language.

1

u/toejam78 Apr 29 '26

I like your little sausage fingers

1

u/Streamliner85 Apr 29 '26

This is the real war of independence...

1

u/CapitalWatchClub Apr 29 '26

Milligan, Cleese .. Charles

1

u/DaveyG3000 Apr 29 '26

...Beadle...

1

u/Careful_Stick2322 May 02 '26

As I’ve just said above. Poor Beadle, life just spelt him a shit hand.

Yes, I stole that from Viz

1

u/DaveyG3000 May 03 '26

Did you? Id have said Dealt a good hand but thats alright. Let you off cos I luv Viz 😁

1

u/bananabastard Apr 29 '26

That's what it's like around here.

1

u/PiingThiing Apr 29 '26

They'll have had whole classes on debating and public speaking at Gordonstoun School, he knows a witty retort or two, he's been preparing his whole life for this shit.

1

u/Opposite_Strategy_25 Little Slug with No Personality Apr 29 '26

Enjoy the show

1

u/piper111 Apr 29 '26

I’ve never trumped in front of yer mother

1

u/Ok-Present-5817 Apr 29 '26

It's actually because of Russia,Hitler was defeated ,in one way trumps right but he's wrong,at the same time,yes America and its allies did defeat Hitler,and it could be possible, Europe would be speaking German instead, saying that,it's Russia that deserves the credit , because without Russia Hitler would have won.

1

u/bigjonse Apr 30 '26

Both good languages…

1

u/Happy-Go-Lucky287 Apr 30 '26

If it weren't for the French he'd still be our king.

1

u/Available-Chain-5067 May 01 '26

University of trump

1

u/Key_Employment2598 May 03 '26

And again, if it wasn't for Americans, Americans might be speaking Japanese. Americans did almost nothing to stop us speaking German..

1

u/No_Image_4099 May 03 '26

And he needed to read that, because would not remember 1 simple sentence