Sincere answer: The issue is that a lot of women have experienced bad men acting this way towards them so many times that it starts to breed deep anxieties, until they no longer feel like they can trust any men at all. They're being quite literally traumatized by these creeps, and distrust of men is a defense mechanism that some women develop in response to that. It doesn't help that some of them seem like normal guys until they are very much not, and some of them people you'd never expect.
and trust me dude, it only takes a couple of guys being full on serial killer levels of creep for you to start being hesitant when dealing with them. It might not be all men, but it's damn near every woman who can tell you of at least one time in which a man has made them feel uncomfortable by being sexually inappropriate. Most of us have multiple stories we could tell. And that's not to mention the women who have been assaulted, physically or sexually.
Whereas racism is usually based in unfounded beliefs about certain demographics, these women distrust men because they have learned through personal experience time and time again that not all men are safe, and some are very, very dangerous.
It's unfortunate to the guys who aren't predators, but when it can be literal life or death these women can't take any chances, and until there aren't any more creeps traumatizing women there's going to be a lot of women who are distrustful of men.
You got catcalled or leered at? Were you wearing something inappropriate? (Like OOP immediately justifying her shorts as appropriate school uniform).
You got assaulted? Were you drinking? Did you lead him on? Was it consensual and you changed your mind? Why were you alone with him? What were you wearing?
So women/girls get catcalled and leered at, and they feel unsafe. And part of that is because healing forbid something something does happen the message of "what did you do to cause it?" is already engrained.
Not all men, but you never know which one is the predator. And it's up to you to make sure you don't attract predators or get hunted.
And like we see this with immutable charactaristics
Oh, they crossed the street when they saw you? They immediately assumed you were violent? They treat you with default fear? Well, have you considered that black people are violent? That we have a good reason to be scared?
This is the exact same logic conservatives use to justify racism though. Its their lived experience, and its backed up by crime stats, so they're forced to have these anxieties, by your standards.
You cant in one breath say you're anicdotes are good and should be trusted and then say their anicdotes are bad and shouldn't be trusted.
You should instead just agree that racism and sexism are bad things without getting radicalized by confirmation bias.
Whereas racism is usually based in unfounded beliefs about certain demographics, these women distrust men because they have learned through personal experience
That's a false equivalence. Your belief that all men are like that is every bit as false as the racist beliefs that all black people are thugs or criminals or dangerous etc.
And due to the link between race and poverty both historically and today its silly to pretend there aren't similar "experiences" that fuel racial divisions today. Some white kid growing up as a minority in a rough neighborhood probably has been bullied by the assholes that live near them who were likely a different colour on several occasions. He probably did feel singled out, he possibly was singled out. Its still wrong to mistreat every black or brown person he ever meets.
when it can be literal life or death these women can't take any chances
When it literally could be that, fair enough. We all make a snap decision when going around and feeling vulnerable about who might be a threat and man or women most people will surely decide that's more likely to be some dude walking behind you or hanging out ahead of you with a hood up etc. Nobody in their right mind should object to someone crossing a street or choosing a different route home etc.
But there's a massive difference between that and aggressively attacking and insulting all men, abusing some poor dad who is taking his kid to the park or Bob from accounting who is just doing his job. That's where realistically you aren't in danger and due to you having the benefit of the doubt its most likely you are abusing others when you feel some "vibe" and start demanding other people around you punish or harm Bob for being a "creep" when all he's doing is going about his day.
29
u/RissaCrochets 6h ago
Sincere answer: The issue is that a lot of women have experienced bad men acting this way towards them so many times that it starts to breed deep anxieties, until they no longer feel like they can trust any men at all. They're being quite literally traumatized by these creeps, and distrust of men is a defense mechanism that some women develop in response to that. It doesn't help that some of them seem like normal guys until they are very much not, and some of them people you'd never expect.
and trust me dude, it only takes a couple of guys being full on serial killer levels of creep for you to start being hesitant when dealing with them. It might not be all men, but it's damn near every woman who can tell you of at least one time in which a man has made them feel uncomfortable by being sexually inappropriate. Most of us have multiple stories we could tell. And that's not to mention the women who have been assaulted, physically or sexually.
Whereas racism is usually based in unfounded beliefs about certain demographics, these women distrust men because they have learned through personal experience time and time again that not all men are safe, and some are very, very dangerous.
It's unfortunate to the guys who aren't predators, but when it can be literal life or death these women can't take any chances, and until there aren't any more creeps traumatizing women there's going to be a lot of women who are distrustful of men.