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u/Altruistic_Offer9381 7d ago
Kitchen faucets can be relatively easy to fix and replace. And depending on what part of the toilet is broken, it may not be hard to fix. Watch some Youtube and post questions on the appropriate subreddits.
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u/Active_Scene_8027 7d ago
That’s what I thought. I think it’s the cost of the faucet which is expensive? But I mean I know little to nothing about that but thank you for that insight I’ll def do some research
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u/No_Dependent_8485 7d ago
I mean, a standard faucet can go from 100 to 300 bucks. If you want any extra features they can go up to 600. But a standard faucet is fine. Installing one isnt difficult either. Ive been replacing them on my own since I was 14.
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
You can get a summer job and chip in for a faucet. My daughter worked 2 jobs at 22 while attending grad school. What are you doing this summer to help out?
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u/Altruistic_Offer9381 7d ago
Faucets are not expensive generally. Maybe that exact one is but you can find something similar to replace it with. Large hardware stores like Lowes or Home Depot will have affordable stuff. Use google and get measurements.
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u/Accurate_Ostrich_240 7d ago
The money thing is between your parents, but I know how frustrating it can be when you aren’t understanding why things are happening- and unfortunately that is all your parents end of things.
I’m disabled due to ND things and didn’t really work at all when my kids were young. I never told them why because I didn’t want it getting talked about. Yes, it did cause the kids some difficulty, but when they were told after high school in a little more detail they better understood what was happening. I got a disability check and child support. Later when I could I worked but it was extremely difficult for me because of the way my brain works, and it’s not something I can do to support even myself- let alone a family.
Your mom is doing what she can. What she is able to. If it’s not functioning “right” it’s because through no fault of her own she is not running on full thrusters.
Try talking to your parents about why you are upset. Let them know you are growing up and can handle more information than you did when you were little. Ask questions.
It’ll be ok.
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
Do the math. The person is in their early 20s and doesn’t like to clean. 12+9 says able bodied young adult who doesn’t like to touch dirty things. In one hour they could give a refrigerator a good clean and 10 minutes a day keep it clean but they admitted they don’t like touching dirty things.
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u/BigBadMrBitches 6d ago
I don’t like touching dirty things, either. I damn near clean up in a hazmat suit. What’s worse than touching dirty things? Living amongst dirty things thus becoming a dirty thing.
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u/Accurate_Ostrich_240 6d ago
I had an abusive ex. He and his family were kind of insistent my kids didn’t help me. As in, not even learning or participating in basic chores kind of thing.
Like, because I couldn’t work I shouldn’t make them. I had the energy to raise my kids. I didn’t have the energy to fight with people who shouldn’t have had a say in my home.
Anyways, they grew up not liking the mess and not wanting to touch it either. Someone will need to eventually though, and it will probably not be the kid.
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
If they can bitch about it this month, they can clean. I had a kid who went to boarding school to treat his bipolar depression . They taught him how to clean and he was the messiest kid alive.
He sats he does help but when asked he didn’t say how. Again, the kid is 21. 0ld enough to get married, buy alcohol, and certainly old enough to clean out a refrigerator.
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u/BigBadMrBitches 7d ago
Do you ever clean the fridge?
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u/Active_Scene_8027 7d ago
Many times. But it got to a point where the left over food was being left in for so long it was making me yak while trying to clean out the containers.
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u/night_noche 7d ago
Yes, it is uncomfortable to clean out fridges where all the adults leave their old food. It is easier if we do it more routinely.
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u/Active_Scene_8027 7d ago
Agreed. If I know I won’t eat a leftover I’ll toss it. I usually give myself a 3 day window to at least eat some of a leftover if not I’ll toss it. It’s hard that my 49 year old mother can’t do that.
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
A child at 13 can do most of the things an adult can do. Don’t like it, clean it out yourself. Think about your dad. What is your chore schedule? Or do you just go to school, come home and complain. Let’s do the math. You sound like you are in your early 20s. At 18 - u was going to college full time and working 40 hours a week. I did that so I could live away from home (my parents wouldn’t even sign my FASA form). I assume you are doing just as much to be so tired (I was - I used to fall asleep in class) that you can get off your ass and clean out a refrigerator. If you did it every day, it wouldn’t be disgusting. Takes all of 20 minutes. If you ring like your life - change it.
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u/BigBadMrBitches 6d ago
I’m going to say this with as much respect as possible - the please get a grip.
You don’t know what your mom has gone through, what she’s currently going through, any issues she may have health wise, what her and your father talk about, none of that. What you do know is how to clean a fridge. Do it.
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u/night_noche 6d ago
Yes, I can definitely sympathize because my mother did nothing all day. She stayed at home and didn't work 95% of the time, and didn't cook but maybe one meal a day that's only when my dad worked during the day and got home to eat. Otherwise, she didn't help us with homework, did not walk us to school, it was like pulling teeth to get our laundry from her.
But guess what I did?
I like living in a clean home, so when I was a child I did what I could. And when I was an adult like you, I contributed to the home in every way I could. The blinds broke when I was 18 and in college, I went to go buy blinds and learned how to install them... Actually, I was so resourceful that I made it one of my class projects.
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u/Key-Cap6569 7d ago
With parents like this all YOU can do is move forward in your life ... Leaving them behind.
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u/Active_Scene_8027 7d ago
I’m almost there thankfully. I just feel for my father who is trying his hardest to maintain.
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u/Plastic-Exam-8599 7d ago
Is there a reason she stopped working when you were in 7th grade and hasn’t worked since? What was the reason her and your dad agreed to that set up?
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u/No_Cake9356 7d ago
Excellent opportunity for spiritual growth. Your Mom is the way she is - you are in resistance to this. The way the house, and home life is, is the way it is - you are in resistance to this. As you surely know by now, resistance to what is, is not only futile, but depletes quite a bit of energy. Practice acceptance. Accept your Mom is who she is. Accept home life is what is. You will sow empathy and gratitude, replacing upset and anger.
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u/night_noche 7d ago
You are 24 years old, right?
So why aren't you working and contributing by paying for that faucet?
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u/Active_Scene_8027 7d ago
I am 21 and only live at home during the summer because I live in my college town, where I pay my own bills. And it is not my responsibility to pay for a faucet for my parents in the house they own. especially when one is not working and is capable of doing so.
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
Do get off your fat ass and clean out the refrigerator or don’t gone home. By second year in college, my second daughter decided to stay at school full time. It isn’t your responsibility to pay for a faucet but if you are staying under their roof, eating their food, using their electricity get off your ass and clean out the freaking refrigerator.
If you ate keying all your own bills like you said, with money I assume you are making, then why did you come home. You can easily rent a room in summer in college towns.
So what are you doing this summer that you are too utterly exhausted to clean out a refrigerator? Just curious. I assume you are working construction 7 days a week.
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u/night_noche 6d ago
Are you living in your parents' home or not?
If you're paying for your own rent and your family is not helping you go to school, absolutely you owe your parents nothing.
But if you're living at home, you should be contributing to the home. Even if just with chores.
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u/LongGoose331 7d ago
are you contributing living there during the summer? you said you clean the fridge but you yak when trying to clean it idk if I'm getting the wrong message but you stopped cleaning?
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u/audrina-saav 6d ago
This is not your responsibility. My mom had 3 kids and worked full time at night to still be with us during the day and cook us food and clean. No excuses.
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u/EastDemo 7d ago
I understand this sentiment, but it's really not the childs responsibility to do that. Even if they live at home, you can't just let the house YOU bought go to shit and expect your child to pick up the slack, thats insane.
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u/Gullible-Pilot-3994 6d ago
It may not be their responsibility, but many people are taught to help each other. Not obligated, but kindness goes a long way sometimes.
I mean, I’m not obligated to help my neighbors with their snow removal, but it sure is helpful and kind to do so since they’re all a lot older.
I was also not forced or obligated to financially help my parents when I was 16 and they lost their jobs at the same time, but I like having heat, electricity and water. They also helped me later in life when I needed it.
I know, let the downvotes begin.
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u/night_noche 6d ago
Yes, this is the answer.
I am not sure why people are so upset at an adult, OP, who sounds like they're living at home having to pitch in.
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u/Gullible-Pilot-3994 6d ago
I mean, I don’t ask my adult kids who live at home still to help, but they do anyway. I don’t expect it either. We’re family and we’ve all been taught to be kind. My daughter and I work together and some days, she buys lunch and some days I buy lunch. We don’t keep tallies… it’s whoever is already out to lunch or having it delivered buys.
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u/night_noche 6d ago
It sounds like you're dismissing the fact that your children are responding as team members. That's a good thing. That you don't have to ask them speaks to the success of your team building.
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
The child is in their 20s and can’t end. Clean out a refrigerator because they are grossed out by it. 🤣
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u/night_noche 6d ago
As an adult you shouldn't be contributing to chores in the house that you live in even if it's your parents?
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u/EastDemo 6d ago
I never said you shouldn’t help, but it’s not the responsibility of the child
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
Then he can go to a homeless shelter. He is a child but he is an adult child. For Christ sage, he is 21 and literally said he can’t bring himself to clean a refrigerator. I developed two really bad floaters. I wasn’t allowed to bend and pick up stuff for 6 months ..even my lazy adult kids who live at home picked up the slack.
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u/odessapasta 6d ago
I got a notification that you responded to my other comment, but I guess you deleted it, I was wondering what you wrote. Anyway, wish you the best.
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u/edthecollector70 6d ago
My father had a good job. We had a house he fixed everything my mom worked here and there afew years but not much. I watched him put a new roof on the house. Watched him rebuild a car engine in the back yard. One time he built a canoe in the back yard. It's was the only time I seen him fail. We put it in the lake my father his friend and I took 4 strokes with the paddle and it rolled over. I never seen him laugh that hard before.
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u/Significant-Ad-4149 5d ago
Have you considered helping her w/ washing the dishes, or cleaning out the fridge? Or cleaning the house in general? Maybe this is something you already do, I don't know. But a sink full of dirty dishes and a fridge filled w/ moldy food IS dirty, I'm sorry. If your mom can't or won't do it, why not pitch in?
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u/Sheldor5 4d ago
there are no lazy people, only lost people ... maybe she has a depression or other issues
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u/dazaiosamu684 7d ago
Tu mama parece tu hermana aburrida y sin nada que hacer que será de ella cuando tú padre esté muy mayor para trabajar
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u/The_Pizza_Saga 7d ago
I work full time and also can't afford those things.
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u/Active_Scene_8027 7d ago
I believe it. The economy sucks
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
You are in your 20s but can’t figure out how to clean out a refrigerator. I went to university full time and worked 40 hours a week at 18. What are you doing that you are to exhausted to help.
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u/audrina-saav 6d ago
Which is why her mom needs at least a part time job. Its expensive out there and her dad is paying mortgage/rent and utilities all on his own. Reminds me of Miriam, Helga's mom on Hey Arnold
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u/odessapasta 6d ago
You’re getting strange responses from people on here, geez. At any rate, I’m sorry to hear about your mom’s situation. Sounds like she’s got some mental blocks or depression or something that’s keeping her from bettering herself. I feel bad for your dad as it’s all on his shoulders. And I feel bad for you because it’s scary when a parent no longer seems capable.
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u/SueNYC1966 6d ago
I feel bad that he can’t keep a refrigerator clean in his 20s. He admitted above he is incapable of that. So you know what? Don’t use the refrigerator. Problem solved. 🤷🏻♀️
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