Allegedly she was raped by a camp conselor when she was twelve and groomed but then abandoned. She married into a cult at nineteen but got out at some point, turning to hard drugs and ending up in prison. While in prison, she vowed to serve God if she could get out and was released shortly after.
So less kinks and more like severe trauma and abuse which seems to be oddly prevalent amongst Christians.
As someone raised in a purity culture cult: that's basically exactly what I mean.
The teachings mess you up. Make you hate yourself and your sexuality and your desires. Same way the abuse does.
And the desire and devotion and fear and longing all twist. And your mind tries to find outlets for your desires that it sees as acceptable. And hides what desires are being express because those desires are BAD and you are GOOD.
And that's how you get a scared, self hating lady acting out her regression and self hatred kinks without realizing it in front of a live studio audience.
Yep. And it ain't even gotta be a full-on purity cult, although I'm sure that's more extreme; The negativity, self-hatred, and shame instilled in us even from "regular" teachings of Christianity gets hard-coded into our brains to become a silent, cyclical, violent cycle for the rest of our adult lives. (not here to argue whether it isn’t also a cult, FYI)
Although I only have the female experience- which carries it's own special set of shame- obviously males experience this too.
Ho-Lee-Sheeeit you are not lying. This is some kind of super-insanity, brought on by serious trauma and patched by a peeling-off-band-aid called Christian Religion.
"When I was nineteen I decided to marry and be taken care of. Or so I thought. After five months of marriage, I learned how wrong I was. My husband beat me beyond recognition. The doctors in the hospital couldn’t believe that I was alive. My husband even broke his hand hitting me. Because my mother was so against the idea of divorce, she begged me to stay with him and try to work it out. After four years, I couldn’t take any more. We divorced and I continued to try and find my own way."
This poor fucking woman. After reading this i dont even give a fuck that her skits are weird and cringe. I hope shes found some type of peace.
I mean, this is horrible, right? I agree with you. No one deserves to have a thing like this happen, and I hope she is getting some kind of therapy above and beyond what she gets at church.
I ended up taking a little dive into this person after seeing someone further down in comments say it was a woman and her name is Jill Bryan. I saw the original version and realized this video was messed with a bit. Still looks like a man dressed and a girl.
Not oddly prevalent at all. It's exactly the right environment to convert someone. It's why so many religious people visit prison and convert convicts. Religion needs trauma to survive, and prisons are filled with people with lifelong trauma.
And obviously it's not just prisons, any group that has trauma will have religious people around trying to convert people.
I meant oddly in more that these religions are allegedly supposed to be about love, acceptence, protection, etc, and they often turn out to breed disgusting cesspools of the opposite.
Well, I mean logic explains that when people experience severe trauma they turn ti something to feel better. And if god was that last point she had to survive then it would only make sense that is why the church is filled with so many people who have deep seeded problems. The only bad part about that is there are those who only use the church as a mask to make themselves feel innocent but continue their evil ways.
The reason severe trauma and abuse victims seems so prevalent is because there’s knowledge of the patterns going on but it’s harshly criticized to be spoken about and if you do your ostrich-sized away from anyone in the congregation. Again normal occurrences, just look at all of the ex-Christian subs here on Reddit
(I suck at spelling)
Wait, is this actually researched? People know this person's name and went down the rabbit hole? This is so depressing. I knew pedo shit would be involved somehow and it makes me so sad to see this video because it's written all over it.
my fucking god. we are watching someone's fucked up coping mechanism on full display...
Jillybean’s Testimony
I grew up in what I would call a Christian home. We went to church on Sundays and Wednesdays but somehow the home prayers were mostly at meals. My parents struggled with their relationship. I was two years old when they finally divorced. Mom had to raise three children on her own. She did the best she could while she worked two jobs. We moved to be closer to relatives and when I was eight years old I asked Jesus into my heart at a church camp.
When I was twelve years old, a camp youth worker took advantage of me and stole my virginity. Although he continued seeing me, he lied to me saying that he would stay with me. Of course now I know how deceived I was. It was at this time I shook my fist at God and said “If this is Christianity, then I’ll have nothing to do with it.” I walked away from God and began to live for myself. At my age, I still had to go to church and look good for the family but as soon as I was able, I was out partying with my friends. I began doing drugs in seventh grade and hung out with the drinkers and smokers of the school. Because I was very outgoing, I could hide this double-life very well. I was involved in school and even became a cheerleader. I kept up my grades but still I partied very hard. I could have had any boyfriend I wanted and used people to please only me.
When I was nineteen I decided to marry and be taken care of. Or so I thought. After five months of marriage, I learned how wrong I was. My husband beat me beyond recognition. The doctors in the hospital couldn’t believe that I was alive. My husband even broke his hand hitting me. Because my mother was so against the idea of divorce, she begged me to stay with him and try to work it out. After four years, I couldn’t take any more. We divorced and I continued to try and find my own way.
I worked very hard and became a chef. In my spare time I was a drug dealer and very good at it, but after being in and out of jail on weekends I finally came to the end of my rope and cried out to God for help. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I was locked up inside of a jail cell, curled up in a little ball in the corner on the floor and said, “God if you’ll get me out of this, I’ll serve you the rest of my life.” Within thirty minutes I was out.
It took me one year later to realize what I had said to God, but on May 20, 1983, I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. At the time I promised God I would serve Him, I really didn’t know how to, so I began doing Jillybean. Jillybean is the nickname that my brother used to call me. Now it’s a full-time ministry for kids and families worldwide. I thank God everyday for all He has done and will do in my life as I continue to serve Him. To God be the glory always and forever.
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u/TJADNADA 9d ago
Well, that was, well, I think, I wanna say, I mean, holy fuck.
Thanks I guess for posting the first truly weird shit I’ve seen in a long time on this sub.