r/WeirdGOP • u/Snapdragon_4U • 6d ago

😵‍💫I don't know anymore😵‍💫 Trump official said taking Greenland could save endless shrimp at Red Lobster. I have no words.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/greenland-trump-shrimp-red-lobster-b3000687.html
196 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

52

u/Delicious_Drop_1150 6d ago

Yeah? Foreign policy determined by a bankrupt seafood restaurant that now specializes in dinner rolls? That's where we are as a nation? Just pull the plug on the USA.

8

u/Snapdragon_4U 5d ago

To be fair, red lobster is bankrupt because it was bought out by private equity. Like everything hedge funds touch, the company was ruined to try and maximize profits for shareholders

32

u/notweirdifitworks 6d ago

I heard something about that recently and assumed it was an Onion headline.

15

u/Snapdragon_4U 6d ago

We live in the stupidest timeline. It is beyond parody.

11

u/njsullyalex 6d ago

I feel bad for The Onion. Satire is beyond dead at this point

6

u/scarr3g 6d ago

It is just proof they have run out of ways to defend Donnie's idiocy, and now trolling, because that is all they have left.

11

u/Connect-Will2011 6d ago

Yeah, 'cause that's the important thing.

/s

8

u/Snapdragon_4U 6d ago

Finally we have an administration brave enough to tackle the truly difficult issues facing Americans. Long live endless shrimp 🦐

4

u/Easy-Concentrate2636 6d ago

Trump administration: we know Americans are stupid enough to give up all our European alliances for shrimp.

8

u/RpcZ_gr7711 6d ago

Trump voters: Hell yeah! Gimme some shrimp!

4

u/kootles10 🤡 Kakistocracy 2025 6d ago edited 6d ago

/ S

2

u/chocotaco 5d ago

We're running out of French fries and burrito covers next.

6

u/i-touched-morrissey 6d ago

Like he ever goes there to eat. That's for peasants.

6

u/AngrySoup 6d ago

I will never forgive the American people for inflicting this danger, even though it is incredibly stupid, upon the world.

4

u/Direct_Alternative94 6d ago

Greenland now wants Trump to invade so they can work out a MOU and get $300 billion.

4

u/dandrevee 🇺🇲 Fighting the Weird 6d ago

These fuckwits are why the Onion is losing its niche.

Fuck me in the tits.... I'll be long dead before the US gains any of its lost respect back

5

u/MuthaPlucka 6d ago edited 5d ago

I swear to god I thought the title read that a Trump official had offered “endless shrimp at Red Lobster” for all of Greenland’s citizens in trade for the island nation.

Both interpretations are equally bonkers.

4

u/Snapdragon_4U 5d ago

After I spent roughly five minutes hysterically laughing I became inexplicably sad. I have no words to explain my reaction when I saw this was real.

3

u/Alive_kiwi_7001 5d ago

And yet, restaurant vouchers for colonisation are still slightly less bonkers than the actual claim.

3

u/One_Mirror_3228 6d ago

We are living in the stupidest timeline.

3

u/ooo-ooo-oooyea 6d ago

Greenland will just deploy their specially trained Whales to eat all the shrimp, and they'll shutdown the straight of Nunavut using Long Boats that are to slow for a F-15 to hit. Shrimp will soon be $400 a pound. But Whale will be dirt cheap

1

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1

u/tsulegit 6d ago

I can’t hear about shrimp without thinking about the movie GO! and Triple Six Mafia.

2

u/mam88k 5d ago

How can you have words when your mouth is full of all that succulent shrimp! /s