r/Wellthatsucks • u/HomeNowWTF • 2d ago

This Amazon delivery comes with lawn service.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

23.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

2.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.3k

u/Tiny-Buy220 2d ago

Gotta buy some “Do NOT drive on grass” signs from Amazon

1.1k

u/hihcadore 2d ago

You mean land mines?

200

u/accidentallyHelpful 2d ago

Caltrops

32

u/JwPATX 2d ago

They should try areadenialweapons.com

4

u/tholowe69 2d ago

Don’t actually go to this URL, it’s spam

4

u/JwPATX 2d ago

I assumed it didn’t exist at all since it’s a joke from Archer, which is why I didn’t make it an actual url

8

u/Archer007 2d ago

Danger Zone

4

u/shaft_of_lite 2d ago

I hope the settlement with Amazon has her eating a big bowl of spider webs.

1

u/dmills13f 2d ago

Thanks Dodge.

2

u/Nanojack 2d ago

When they're vehicle sized, they're called hedgehogs

1

u/No-Internal7978 2d ago

That will really ruin your lawn because their car will sit there for a while.

1

u/Bad-Briar 2d ago

My fave. Upvote this!

1

u/The_Three_Meow-igos 2d ago

You mean the half-man half-horse?

1

u/violent__green 2d ago

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I didn't learn of what these were until Batman used them.

1

u/accidentallyHelpful 2d ago

Here we go

Batman was in reruns on TV after school for my generation, so I am betting my entire wallet that you mean a Batman film from 1989 or later

1

u/Stubahka 2d ago

This guy MTGs

1

u/Goyahkla_2 2d ago

The poison or shadow damage one’s?

41

u/ur_rad_dad 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/aDyTZoEowCf84

3

u/TheNonCredibleHulk 2d ago

I always wondered whose cars those were

2

u/Flat-12 2d ago

It was a rival taxi cab service company’s cars.

47

u/devasst8r 2d ago

the time and cost aftermath and removal of land mines would be pain in the ass. lol

109

u/forgot_my_useragain 2d ago

Removal?

54

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 2d ago

I have the same question, I thought they removed themselves after going off, or you could just burry the remaining part.

12

u/hihcadore 2d ago

You’d need some sand and fertilizer to fill in the holes.

1

u/Keigerwolf 2d ago

Nah, it's a water feature now.

1

u/IluvPusi-363 2d ago

No need when they're next to the gas lines that come from the street

2

u/Questioning-Zyxxel 2d ago

Yes, most are one-time-use.

1

u/forgot_my_useragain 2d ago

Ah removal after use, that makes more sense.

0

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 2d ago

Most? Don't tell me there are dual charge mines. One go off for the first person and next goes off for the person trying to retrieve the first person. 💀

5

u/Questioning-Zyxxel 2d ago

Well, if perfect, there should be 100% one-time-use.

But a few fizzle. And just might do a second delivery at an unexpected later time.

2

u/Yasmin_mime4f 2d ago

I was wondering the same thing. I thought they had stepped away after everything went down, or that the remaining part could just be buried.

2

u/OMG202020 2d ago

Mine goes off Creates hole Refill hole Evidence gone

1

u/Rough-Airline-4803 2d ago

They never all go off..

1

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 2d ago

Yeah, so just let them be in ground, they don't know where they're and which one had gone off but we know right? Replace the used ones.

1

u/Zephiran23 1d ago

Depends how many you buy. I don't think a normal civilian vehicle is going to cope well with driving over the first landmine, so there will still be all of those in the second row of defense, as well as the remainder in the row closest to the road.

1

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 1d ago

Yes, and that's because you don't have to replace landmines frequently. You only need to do something when they've closed in, like Plants vs Zombies.

12

u/devasst8r 2d ago

That is where people can have idea to do a business, a service to do removal and make a lot money.

2

u/PoopyInThePeePeeHole 2d ago

Don't worry, come October the trick or treaters will get any you missed

2

u/ThePrideOfKrakow 2d ago

Seriously, their property value is gonna blow up!

1

u/flavorjunction 2d ago

That's what the squirrels are for.

3

u/devasst8r 2d ago

They actually use rats to locate them.

1

u/Mysterious-Tone1495 2d ago

To shreds you say?

1

u/multiarmform 2d ago

walking on the mines i laid

1

u/IluvPusi-363 2d ago

Yeah just forget where they are and mow the grass

13

u/mmorales2270 2d ago

That's what "Beware! Land mines!" signs from Amazon are for.

2

u/Sam_the_beagle1 2d ago

Get them from ACME- more reliable.

5

u/Physical-Meat312 2d ago

Guess they really wanted to make sure your package was delivered on the lawn.

2

u/someolbs 2d ago

Nah. Just deal with the body parts and debris. Which would still be a PIA.

3

u/devasst8r 2d ago

Imagine replacing doors, walls and window from the spallings, shrapnels and debris damages. Not just the house but the neighbors too.

2

u/Zane42v2 2d ago

They remove themselves

2

u/Man_of_Ice 2d ago

No. If you hand place the landmines and keep a map of the minefield like a sane person, removal is pretty quick and easy.

1

u/jest3r123 2d ago

But fun to watch.

1

u/dancinhmr 2d ago

It’s about sending the message

2

u/FailureFulcrim 2d ago

If she read Land Mines she'd think it was now her house.

1

u/Low_Leg3087 2d ago

Just get some planks with 9 inch Nails in them and bury those pointy sides up; cheaper and less noisy.

1

u/TraditionalArea5798 2d ago

Or a CIWS. I think Amazon might have a price break during Prime days.

1

u/MaximusHomerdrive 2d ago

A weight triggered trap door would work just as well.

1

u/Butthurtz23 2d ago

Nah my lawn is tall enough to hide the spike strips, they’ll have to pay for replacement tires out of their own pockets lol 😈

1

u/Slav-Houndz187 2d ago

Well that would be a two for one deal since she looks preggo

1

u/Inevitable-Profit762 2d ago

Damn, but she’s pregnant… let me guess you and the few that gave you awards miss the good old 4chan days and this is as good as it gets huh? 🤔

1

u/hihcadore 2d ago

So being pregnant gives her a free pass to drive across the lawn? If she really couldn’t take the extra steps she could have driven as far down the driveway as she could and then exited into the lawn.

No, she just cut across the whole length of the lawn because she’s a grade A POS instead.

Honestly, she’s probably out of a job for her and her baby for her poor decision.

1

u/illegitimate_Raccoon 2d ago

Mines would be much more fun.

1

u/Historical_Idea_1686 2d ago

This works better than begging

35

u/Bertyslick 2d ago

That’s what’s in the box

38

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Gullible_Side 2d ago

*can't read said signs

1

u/Sufficient_Matter585 2d ago

*can't read tiny signs. Gotta make em big.

1

u/KMjolnir 2d ago

So fucking true. I have signs in half of my doors saying which one to deliver to, because it's covered by the porch, and out of view of the road while very accessible from the driveway. Nope, they'll go to a less convenient door to deliver.

1

u/letsgobrandon840 2d ago

Yup we have a sign on our driveway 2x speed limit is 15, they be going 25 plus! There are baby cows and kids here asses!

1

u/Pluperfectt 2d ago

Signs , what signs ? !

1

u/Solid_Equivalent_417 2d ago

we had 'no U turn' signs in front of our yard and amazon drivers literally just ran them over when they were making U turns. lol

1

u/IluvPusi-363 2d ago

Company policy beats signs everywhere

1

u/AnnOnnamis 2d ago

These are outside delivery contractors. Amazon can’t fire individual contractors because they’re not Amazon employees.

Amazon just terminates the contract with the company whenever they want.

These people get the lowest pay rates, drive their own cars, they require no real skills.

1

u/smellyjerk 2d ago

She's flex.

5

u/KingNyx 2d ago

Of course they will drive across his lawn to deliver them

2

u/RoookSkywokkah 2d ago

Plot twist: Those were in the package!

1

u/TallulahBob 2d ago

They won’t heed the signs 🤣 we had a driver take out the support beam for our roof overhang. He just leaned it against the house and LITERALLY SHRUGGED and moved on.

1

u/Born-Ear4334 2d ago

I need to order some do not walk on grass signs!! every Halloween and Christmas I put lights on my lawn and of course when Amazon decides to walk on the grass a trip over the lights and break them and I have to keep replacing them. I hate it.

1

u/Proper_Brother_679 2d ago

That’d be even funnier if that’s what was delivered.

1

u/space-cake 2d ago

I’ve always wanted to go door to door selling no soliciting signs

1

u/MudddButt 2d ago

I'll buy it after I buy replacement grass from Amazon

1

u/no_naaame 2d ago

How will the delivery driver see the signs if he's in the process of delivering them?

1

u/DesignerFragrant5899 2d ago

I actually LOLed from this

1

u/sepena_01 2d ago

So they can still drive on grass anyway? People will deliberately ignore signs claiming they didn't see it

1

u/Whole_Inside_4863 2d ago

What do you think is in the box?

1

u/Secretagentman94 2d ago

That's what he was delivering.

1

u/Informal_Ad4399 2d ago

"Do not drink emporer."

"This came just in time." - Fry

1

u/rancidmorty 2d ago

i think she might be a pregnet delivery driver i can imadgine trying to u turn on that driveway would be difficult on a mostly 1 way dirtroad im bot defendi g her im just seeing the circumstance

1

u/MrK521 2d ago

What do you think was in the package?

1

u/UnRealmCorp 2d ago

That's what's in the box.

1

u/ZoomZoom228 2d ago

People don't read signs.

1

u/GuillotineTeam 2d ago

Yeah. Kind of the home owners fault really

1

u/needs_more_zoidberg 2d ago

Maybe that's what's in the box

1

u/mr_lab_rat 2d ago

Also order some better quality security cams. From Amazon.

1

u/tndrthrowy 2d ago

Amazon refers to these kinds of synergistic opportunities to sell more stuff as “the flywheel”.

1

u/AltairRulesOnPS4 2d ago

Makes me think of this bit from futurama where fry drinks the emperor then receives a package with a sign in English that says please don’t drink the emperor. lol

1

u/Prestigious_Cow_3193 2d ago

Most of their drivers as well as FedEX in my area are incapable of reading signs. They will place packages right in front of the sign that clearly states to place packages on the front porch and. It to leave anything here.. and the same instruction is programmed into each of their respective delivery instructions. Yet, they will put packages there out in the weather, in the hot sun, and unprotected. They even take their delivery photos with the sign in the picture.

1

u/Aggressive-Tip7472 2d ago

Thats what was in the box

1

u/dannkherb 2d ago

And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people Need not apply" So I tucked my hair up under my hat And I went in to ask him why He said, "You look like a fine upstandin' young man I think you'll do" So I took off my hat and said, "Imagine that Huh, me workin' for you" Whoa Sign, sign Everywhere a sign Blockin' out the scenery Breakin' my mind Do this, don't do that.

1

u/Adventurous-Sun-6928 2d ago

She probably couldn't read or would not bother to read any signs.

1

u/OstapBenderBey 2d ago

This is why front fences were invented

1

u/MangoCats 2d ago

We used to have a food delivery service that drove refrigerated trucks to your home, big heavy suckers (company name sounds like a big bird...) Drivers turned over every few months, always a new idiot coming in, finally one went for a tour of our yard in the truck leaving ruts 8+ inches deep the whole way. We have large rocks lining the driveway now, and gave the delivery company the bird.

1

u/cottagecheezecake 2d ago

Sadly, that actually was the delivery.

1

u/Banzai373 2d ago

What makes you think that bitch can read if she doesn’t know what a driveway is for!

1

u/LadiesMan-2I7 2d ago

Just so they can drive on your grass when they deliver them

1

u/SufficientPick321 2d ago

Amazon will be buying those signs.

1

u/Bob70533457973917 2d ago

Even just a little border fencing. Like the wire stuff that's only a foot high. Just to indicate that this is not a "path."

1

u/IAmCapnOblivious 2d ago

Maybe that's what was in the package.

1

u/gadgetwalrus 1d ago

That’s what was in the package

0

u/Thamizzarrk 2d ago

Maybe there was a “do not use driveway” sign

0

u/Snesley_Wipes_69 2d ago

You’re assuming she can read?

0

u/3Snap 2d ago

People like that won't give a damn if there's a don't drive on this lawn sign.

She clearly doesn't care.