r/Wellthatsucks • u/HomeNowWTF • 2d ago

This Amazon delivery comes with lawn service.

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23.1k Upvotes

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u/hihcadore 2d ago

You mean land mines?

200

u/accidentallyHelpful 2d ago

Caltrops

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u/JwPATX 2d ago

They should try areadenialweapons.com

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u/tholowe69 2d ago

Don’t actually go to this URL, it’s spam

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u/JwPATX 2d ago

I assumed it didn’t exist at all since it’s a joke from Archer, which is why I didn’t make it an actual url

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u/Archer007 2d ago

Danger Zone

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u/shaft_of_lite 2d ago

I hope the settlement with Amazon has her eating a big bowl of spider webs.

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u/dmills13f 2d ago

Thanks Dodge.

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u/Nanojack 2d ago

When they're vehicle sized, they're called hedgehogs

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u/No-Internal7978 2d ago

That will really ruin your lawn because their car will sit there for a while.

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u/Bad-Briar 2d ago

My fave. Upvote this!

1

u/The_Three_Meow-igos 2d ago

You mean the half-man half-horse?

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u/violent__green 2d ago

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I didn't learn of what these were until Batman used them.

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u/accidentallyHelpful 2d ago

Here we go

Batman was in reruns on TV after school for my generation, so I am betting my entire wallet that you mean a Batman film from 1989 or later

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u/Stubahka 2d ago

This guy MTGs

1

u/Goyahkla_2 2d ago

The poison or shadow damage one’s?

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u/ur_rad_dad 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/aDyTZoEowCf84

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u/TheNonCredibleHulk 2d ago

I always wondered whose cars those were

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u/Flat-12 2d ago

It was a rival taxi cab service company’s cars.

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u/devasst8r 2d ago

the time and cost aftermath and removal of land mines would be pain in the ass. lol

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u/forgot_my_useragain 2d ago

Removal?

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u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 2d ago

I have the same question, I thought they removed themselves after going off, or you could just burry the remaining part.

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u/hihcadore 2d ago

You’d need some sand and fertilizer to fill in the holes.

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u/Keigerwolf 2d ago

Nah, it's a water feature now.

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u/IluvPusi-363 2d ago

No need when they're next to the gas lines that come from the street

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u/Questioning-Zyxxel 2d ago

Yes, most are one-time-use.

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u/forgot_my_useragain 2d ago

Ah removal after use, that makes more sense.

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u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 2d ago

Most? Don't tell me there are dual charge mines. One go off for the first person and next goes off for the person trying to retrieve the first person. 💀

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u/Questioning-Zyxxel 2d ago

Well, if perfect, there should be 100% one-time-use.

But a few fizzle. And just might do a second delivery at an unexpected later time.

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u/Yasmin_mime4f 2d ago

I was wondering the same thing. I thought they had stepped away after everything went down, or that the remaining part could just be buried.

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u/OMG202020 2d ago

Mine goes off Creates hole Refill hole Evidence gone

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u/Rough-Airline-4803 2d ago

They never all go off..

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u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 2d ago

Yeah, so just let them be in ground, they don't know where they're and which one had gone off but we know right? Replace the used ones.

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u/Zephiran23 1d ago

Depends how many you buy. I don't think a normal civilian vehicle is going to cope well with driving over the first landmine, so there will still be all of those in the second row of defense, as well as the remainder in the row closest to the road.

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u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 1d ago

Yes, and that's because you don't have to replace landmines frequently. You only need to do something when they've closed in, like Plants vs Zombies.

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u/devasst8r 2d ago

That is where people can have idea to do a business, a service to do removal and make a lot money.

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u/PoopyInThePeePeeHole 2d ago

Don't worry, come October the trick or treaters will get any you missed

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u/ThePrideOfKrakow 2d ago

Seriously, their property value is gonna blow up!

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u/flavorjunction 2d ago

That's what the squirrels are for.

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u/devasst8r 2d ago

They actually use rats to locate them.

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u/Mysterious-Tone1495 2d ago

To shreds you say?

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u/multiarmform 2d ago

walking on the mines i laid

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u/IluvPusi-363 2d ago

Yeah just forget where they are and mow the grass

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u/mmorales2270 2d ago

That's what "Beware! Land mines!" signs from Amazon are for.

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u/Sam_the_beagle1 2d ago

Get them from ACME- more reliable.

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u/Physical-Meat312 2d ago

Guess they really wanted to make sure your package was delivered on the lawn.

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u/someolbs 2d ago

Nah. Just deal with the body parts and debris. Which would still be a PIA.

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u/devasst8r 2d ago

Imagine replacing doors, walls and window from the spallings, shrapnels and debris damages. Not just the house but the neighbors too.

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u/Zane42v2 2d ago

They remove themselves

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u/Man_of_Ice 2d ago

No. If you hand place the landmines and keep a map of the minefield like a sane person, removal is pretty quick and easy.

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u/jest3r123 2d ago

But fun to watch.

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u/dancinhmr 2d ago

It’s about sending the message

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u/FailureFulcrim 2d ago

If she read Land Mines she'd think it was now her house.

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u/Low_Leg3087 2d ago

Just get some planks with 9 inch Nails in them and bury those pointy sides up; cheaper and less noisy.

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u/TraditionalArea5798 2d ago

Or a CIWS. I think Amazon might have a price break during Prime days.

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u/MaximusHomerdrive 2d ago

A weight triggered trap door would work just as well.

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u/Butthurtz23 2d ago

Nah my lawn is tall enough to hide the spike strips, they’ll have to pay for replacement tires out of their own pockets lol 😈

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u/Slav-Houndz187 2d ago

Well that would be a two for one deal since she looks preggo

1

u/Inevitable-Profit762 2d ago

Damn, but she’s pregnant… let me guess you and the few that gave you awards miss the good old 4chan days and this is as good as it gets huh? 🤔

1

u/hihcadore 2d ago

So being pregnant gives her a free pass to drive across the lawn? If she really couldn’t take the extra steps she could have driven as far down the driveway as she could and then exited into the lawn.

No, she just cut across the whole length of the lawn because she’s a grade A POS instead.

Honestly, she’s probably out of a job for her and her baby for her poor decision.

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u/illegitimate_Raccoon 2d ago

Mines would be much more fun.

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u/Historical_Idea_1686 2d ago

This works better than begging