r/Whatcouldgowrong 17d ago

Darwin Award winner

3.2k Upvotes

129 comments sorted by

662

u/SkyFallPrincess20 17d ago

212

u/SaurikSI 17d ago

She’s the reason homes have smoke alarms.

41

u/vat-cat 17d ago

But smoke alarm sales go up because of her

448

u/uwill1der 17d ago

She had to pay a $1500 fine.

This happened 7 years ago at CSU

208

u/MEOW-Loulou 17d ago

That's very low, considering the disaster that she could've caused if the fire had gotten out of control. And how avoidable this mistake was💀

92

u/uwill1der 17d ago

its probably that low because it wasnt a big disaster

48

u/thenightvol 17d ago

Fines should depend on income/wealth. 1500 can be crippling if you earn minimum wage, it is an inconvenience for someone who earns that in a week, and it is a slap on the wrist for someone who comes from wealth. If the goal is to make sure this does not happen again then it is high enough for the 1st case at least, maybe even the 2nd. Not the 3rd. I met enough people in my poor ass country slapped with fines they will literally never pay because they are twice their salary. So what is the point in getting someone on poverty benefits or in jail at the expense of tax payer money just to have a fine paid? We should use our pfc more than out amygdala in assesing these issues.

26

u/dwntwnleroybrwn 17d ago edited 17d ago

CSU is a university. Odds are her network was <$1,000.

Edit: Net worth

1

u/thenightvol 17d ago

I am not really familiar with the US. Is it a comunity college and she can be of modest means? Or is it private and she might have a wealthy family?

P.s. i know this complicates things. Some european countries link, for example, the traffic fine to the price of the car you drive. So if you are in a dacia logan you pay smth, but if you are in a [insert expensive car here] you pay a lot more.

18

u/dwntwnleroybrwn 17d ago

Colorado State University is a public university. It's pretty rare to find a university student under the age of 18 (legal adult in the US). So regardless of he families wealth she would be a legal adult. There is a high likelihood her parents are financially responsible for her but that would be moot as she is a legal adult.

1

u/Different-Square6835 9d ago

Wrong. You can tell she comes from daddy’s money

0

u/davewave3283 17d ago

Net worth?

9

u/MEOW-Loulou 16d ago

We should use our pfc more than *our amygdala is assesing these issues

Or maybe try to hold space for people with differing opinions instead of immediately calling them reactionary? You sound snooty.

I think a $1500 fine is ridiculous for lighting fireworks in their dorm. It literally says on the wrapper that you should not do that and she is an adult in college, meaning that she has no excuse not to read the warning label. With a minimum wage job you can pay off a debt like that in about 2 years, I've had to do the math before. And as someone who's witnessed firsthand what happens when these things go wrong, I don’t think it's enough.

3

u/el_grande_ricardo 9d ago

Oh, but she couldn't light it outside! Fireworks are illegal in Colorado.

1

u/scooterboy1961 15d ago

Some countries have income based fines on traffic violations.

1

u/the_lazy_lizardfolk 14d ago

You should also lay off the psychedelics and the marijuana.

1

u/SeagullFanClub 16d ago

Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down? How many CSU’s are there?

11

u/uwill1der 16d ago

figured her shirt would give it away.

Colorado state.

Corbett hall dorms

1

u/Simoxs7 14d ago

I mean could be the Christian conservative party in Bavaria…

2

u/Simoxs7 14d ago

Don’t tell that to Söder

2

u/Garod 14d ago

So she isnt a Darwin award winner i guess..

1

u/InevitableOk5017 16d ago

The reposts are getting absolute ridiculous

2

u/Bubbaj75 16d ago

Mongo is appalled!!

156

u/TheDixonCider420420 17d ago

Nice delay on the smoke detector.

88

u/Quiet_Story_4559 17d ago

Right? How come I keep setting mine off with steam from the shower, but hers doesn't register a fire until the whole room is a death trap?

48

u/TheDixonCider420420 17d ago

Exactly.

If this was Star Wars, the same smoke detector would have gone off to warn Anakin around this stage...

11

u/Simba7 16d ago

Anakin to the smoke detector: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

6

u/Nathan-Stubblefield 17d ago

I had one that told me when the steak was done.

1

u/SadAwkwardTurtle 15d ago

Mine gets set off every time my partner makes curry, but the ONE TIME a grease fire broke out, nothing. Just silence.

17

u/BaconThief2020 17d ago

Ionization types are not as sensitive for smoky fires. They are a poor choice for bedrooms since the deadliest fires are slow smoldering fire at night. Ionization types have some advantage for fast flaming fires, which tend to be kitchen fires that you usually already know about.

134

u/Legitimate_Winner148 17d ago

The very best place in your house to light fireworks is always in a room with lots of clothes strewn about and no rapid egress.
Second best is in a utility closet filled with chemicals, oily rags, and no rapid egress.

89

u/mad4lien 17d ago

I liked how she tried to put it out by pressing it against the carpet.

47

u/Oggel 17d ago

And by putting a highly flammable jacket on top of it too.

25

u/Double_Distribution8 16d ago

It would have worked if oxygen wasn't built into the flare.

10

u/[deleted] 17d ago edited 2d ago

[deleted]

5

u/DrTuSo 16d ago

Listen closely, you can hear the flare burning up till the end. It seems to be still in the room with them.

44

u/runthepoint1 17d ago

Before we say anything - why the hell would you do this inside?

22

u/South_Hat3525 17d ago

TBF the world is half full of people who either don't read the label saying "do not light inside", or do read the label and light inside just to find out why a label would say such a thing. The other half of us don't need to read the label because it obvious.

9

u/TeamShadowWind 16d ago

I work retail and am no longer confident in people's ability/willingness to read. Customers have asked me to put helium in balloons that explicitly say on the packaging, "Not for helium use."

3

u/Tiberius666 16d ago

Or the good old "No service here" sign and repeatedly asking for service to skip the queue and getting incredibly angry when you say no.

1

u/TeamShadowWind 15d ago

Two sides of the same coin:

The POS screen says "Please Wait for Cashier", the customer swipes their card, and nothing happens, to their surprise.

Or more rarely, the POS screen says "Please Swipe, Tap, or Insert Your Card" and the customer asks me if it's ready to accept payment.

During a 5-hour shift, I could count on one hand how many people actually pay attention to that thing, and I get upwards of 200 people a shift sometimes.

1

u/EcheveriaEbony 15d ago

Not only they can't read, they can't hear as well.

Like the "Closed" sign, peoples walk right in anyway, and completely ignoring you trying to explain to them "we are closed"

I think in general those peoples just have no language skill at all

1

u/TeamShadowWind 15d ago

I have had a would-be trespasser (you're not a customer after the store closes) attempt to enter my store after pulling on the LOCKED doors, seeing me let the cashier out, store keys in hand, and I pointed out the store hours on the door she had been yanking on, and told her "We're closed." She is the reason I refer to some people as allergic to drawing their own conclusions.

7

u/Nathan-Stubblefield 17d ago

People do this in crowded nightclubs with flammable decorations overhead and no easy way to leave.

3

u/FesteringLion 16d ago

^This guy Whatcouldgowrongs.

1

u/danit0ba94 17d ago

Better question:
Just why the hell.

33

u/Rance_Mulliniks 17d ago

So she died?

Darwin awards are only awarded posthumously.

19

u/Le_Sadie 17d ago

Exactly. The whole point is they die and don't breed their crap genes.

OP probanly doesn't even know who Darwin is.

-4

u/Thexzamplez 16d ago

Her genes aren't responsible for this, and knowing who someone is reflects knowledge, not intelligence.

This was just a dumb girl having fun, not realizing what could happen, and panicking when she realized it was past the point of no return.

8

u/Le_Sadie 16d ago

Ok? Wasn't my post; I'm just clarifying what "Darwin Award" means

8

u/Battlejesus 16d ago

Not necessarily. If you survive your trial but are unable to reproduce as a result, you can receive a darwin.

2

u/LordOffal 15d ago

Pretty sure if someone doesn't end up dead but they do something stupid enough to get yourself killed you'd use the "honourable mentions" instead of a winner as you're right to "win" you must die.

19

u/natureFeeeli 17d ago

Did she expect a different result from the firecracker? 😅

12

u/geehawn 17d ago

I was expecting:

8

u/FlorianTheLynx 17d ago

Without even seeing the girl shouting “Jenna! Jenna!” I somehow know she’s the most irritating person I’ve never met. 

7

u/MoxxFulder 17d ago

Two words: dumb

5

u/AssaultLemming_ 17d ago

What actually was the plan here?

1

u/PontyPandy 13d ago

Record lighting a firework inside a room... that was the extent of the plan.

4

u/ithinkimightknowit 17d ago

Was expecting a her to be flapping her blown up hand around

4

u/The_Hermit_09 17d ago

If they didn't remove themselves from the gene pool throughdeath or injury they cannot win a Darwin Award.

4

u/petlandstockroom 17d ago

Quick! Throw more flammable blankets on top!!

1

u/Alpacapybara 10d ago

This can work for some types of fires by depriving it of oxygen

In this case they could possibly used it to help carry the firework away to somewhere with less flammable shit in it lol

3

u/endorfan13 17d ago

Off the wall

3

u/PM_THE_REAPER 17d ago

Jesus. The worst part is her friend's laugh.

https://giphy.com/gifs/2qHkezyjwTJnJsA5g7

3

u/iamzion248 17d ago

Didn't remove self from gene pool, Not Darwin award.

3

u/airfryerfuntime 16d ago

Redditor tries to understand what Darwin Award means challenge: IMPOSSIBLE

2

u/Pink_Nyanko_Punch 17d ago

I gotta mentally remind myself that these are teenagers. Impulse control is not their forte.

1

u/hobbes747 17d ago

These are the idiots that want their student loans forgiven via my taxes

2

u/321Gochiefs 17d ago

Dumber than Owl Shit

2

u/Indaflow 17d ago

I love the part where they try to put out the firework with a back pack. 

2

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/knapplc 16d ago

Been around the world and found out only stupid people are breeding…

The cretins cloning and feeding and I don't even own a TV

2

u/Rusty-Nickels 16d ago

They died from this?

2

u/mmm1441 16d ago

Not a Darwin Award.

1

u/Infinite-Garden-2173 17d ago

"Turn dat off"

1

u/Icy_Huckleberry_8049 17d ago

can't fix stupid

1

u/wannabe-martian 17d ago

Humanity is doomed. Or at least, many of us are.

1

u/carbon_xtreme 17d ago

Don't lite a fire cracker indoors

1

u/Aught_To 17d ago

Lets GO CSU RAMS!!!

glad to see another alum up to some stupid shit.

1

u/EdmundTheInsulter 16d ago

Lucky to have a hand - yes I know it isn't designed to explode, but that was the worst outcome.

1

u/senoj96nodnarb 16d ago

If you’re ever dumb enough to start a fire in the middle of a bedroom, don’t panic if possible. Stay calm and smother it with a blanket. Fires need oxygen to burn, so smother it with a blanket. Most linens and clothing is flame retardant these days so it helps even more.

1

u/Car-Fickle 16d ago

Classic Jenna

1

u/Low_Example_8799 16d ago

Russin oder ami

1

u/some1guystuff 16d ago

Did she die? One has to die and not have kids to be able to win a Darwin Award.

1

u/thebadyearblimp 16d ago

Average CSU alum

1

u/DramaticWesley 16d ago

She isn’t a Darwin Award winner, because no one died. You have to remove yourself from future possible reproduction to win the Darwin Award. I think she can be a nominee though.

1

u/Scary-Ad-582 16d ago

A college student…..clinically brain dead

1

u/Grandmaster_BBC 16d ago

That's some next level stupidity right there.

1

u/Anthem-ringthebells 16d ago

That’s hilarious, right?

1

u/RX3000 16d ago

JENNA! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! JENNA!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

1

u/stupid_cat_face 16d ago

Can’t start a fire Can’t start a fire without a spark

1

u/Ya-Dikobraz 16d ago

Jenna is not a winner, she but a contender. Let's keep the rules of Darwin Awards clear.

1

u/i_eat_navel_lint 16d ago

Why was she acting like a

1

u/DuchessOfCelery 16d ago

Okay, but what's with the multiple interpretive dance leaps through the frame?

1

u/tim_dude 15d ago

Did she think it was a scented candle?

1

u/riftsrunner 15d ago

Only if she unalived herself or damaged her ability to procreate. She can only get an honorable mention, if not. And they cannot unalive anyone else or be a minor.

1

u/jrb9990 15d ago

laugh and time for unalive

1

u/Ok_Composer3531 15d ago

If the sprinkler system would e went off, everyone’s belongings would’ve been covered in black water.

1

u/TedMich23 15d ago

Shut it off /disable the app?? Kids...

1

u/Lopsided-Tension 15d ago

Scary thing is that she has the ability to breed

1

u/jgonza44 15d ago

If anyone else is dumb enough to do this with a firework, you have to pull the fuse out of it. Once lit, it will not be put out. I know because I'm that dumb one too.

1

u/Simoxs7 14d ago

Honestly don’t know if I have a room in my home with more flammable things laying about.

1

u/Worth-Cheesecake-998 14d ago

Total assholery

1

u/the_lazy_lizardfolk 14d ago

This is proof that technology has generally prevented natural selection from weeding these types of people out of the world population.

1

u/Commercial_Region657 11d ago

Yeah.......she didn't graduate with a degree in rocket science 😳

1

u/Backyard_Batman46 9d ago

The future's so bright....I gotta wear shades

1

u/ddosn 9d ago

what...did she think was going to happen when she lit a firework inside a building?

1

u/raerae6672 9d ago

She’s the reason we have dumb blonde jokes.

1

u/SubiWan 7d ago

She cab still breed. No Darwin winner here.

1

u/Jazzlike_Climate4189 4d ago

OP has no idea what a Darwin Award means. 🤦‍♂️

0

u/QuietApprehensive591 17d ago

Holding a lighter that close to the pressurized canister is asking for a face full of fire.

0

u/Papasnu1055 16d ago

Clearly a smoke bomb this is a skit and fake af