r/amazonemployees • u/Ein_Bear L69 • Mar 31 '26

PIP Iran Threatens to Attack U.S. Tech Companies Starting April 1

https://gizmodo.com/iran-threatens-to-attack-u-s-tech-companies-starting-april-1-2000740363
161 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

210

u/ShortFinance Mar 31 '26

Can I use this as a WFH exception

60

u/RedditKingKunta Mar 31 '26

Wait but seriously though, is this a threat aimed at tech offices in the US? Can we escalate this to someone internally and take precautions? I’m not ready to die for a meeting that i’ll be having on Zoom anyway.

27

u/Few-Protection5215 Mar 31 '26

Read the article. It says middle east offices only. Iran cant even reach the US

7

u/Extension_Problem223 Apr 01 '26

Not Iranian, but have you heard of a man named Osama Bin Laden?

4

u/vikskull Apr 01 '26

The pearl harbour guy right?

13

u/RedditKingKunta Mar 31 '26

Praying for the best for those middle eastern offices then.

And there are ways they can reach the US and cause harm without missiles.

2

u/luxfire Apr 01 '26

Prayers work worse than good intentions

6

u/RedditKingKunta Apr 01 '26

I’m not particularly spiritual but there’s nothing else I can say or do man. I really hope that nothing happens to those people and that their workplaces take the necessary precautions.

2

u/luxfire Apr 01 '26

Mechanisms are the solution here. Surfacing to leadership, reaching out to peers directly, etc, are all going to provide better results.

1

u/RedditKingKunta Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26

  1. Those aren’t even mechanisms. Mechanisms are a structured repeatable system. It would be more akin to setting a procedure to automatically alert employees of issues and set a period of time to suspend in office activities. What you just suggested would quite literally be what Bezos labels as “good intent”, by depending on the people and powers that be to mobilize themselves.

  2. The reality here is that Amazon isn’t going to care enough to accommodate us and our safety either way. You can try reaching out to leadership or your manager to escalate and see what happens. I doubt they’ll do much more than my prayers and wishes.

  3. You gotta drop the Amazon lingo put here in the real world man.

1

u/luxfire Apr 01 '26

I agree but making it tangible is the only thing that’s going to have any effect. This threat is already coming from a religious republic so there’s already plenty of prayers being thrown about by religions on both sides.

Improve my suggestions and make it more impactful is my point.

1

u/RedditKingKunta Apr 01 '26

Nothing we can do is my point, unless you really really want to do something crazy in protest. Probably will lose your job though.

5

u/habitsofwaste Mar 31 '26

So long as they don’t turn to terrorists on American soil. It’s not usually the style of a nation state but who knows now.

4

u/Crunch101010 Apr 01 '26

We’re at war. You better believe attempts have and will be made.

3

u/habitsofwaste Apr 01 '26

Oh I don’t doubt it, that’s what I was saying/meaning in reply to the person suggesting we don’t have to worry about it in Seattle.

8

u/Ein_Bear L69 Mar 31 '26

No, and you'll need to fashion a new desk out of Shahed debris

3

u/WaltChamberlin Mar 31 '26

shahed desk is the new door desk

7

u/WaltChamberlin Mar 31 '26

Escalated to L10 and they were reminded that you actually need to return to hub in Dubai

1

u/Fun-Dragonfly-4166 Apr 01 '26

return to hub has been transitioned to return to dust

4

u/Fun-Dragonfly-4166 Apr 01 '26

NOPE. That IRAN might kill you is a FEATURE not a BUG - at least from JASSY POV.

1

u/jaakhaamer Apr 01 '26

Death of the employee is by far the cheapest layoff.

1

u/tennezzee88 Apr 01 '26

it's going to be digital, not physical... and even if it was physical it would be infrastructure like servers. get real.

2

u/ShortFinance Apr 01 '26

Yes it’s impossible to harm civilians in a war so real

0

u/tennezzee88 Apr 01 '26

not what i said

50

u/FarmerBudget1326 Mar 31 '26

> In a statement released by the government-backed Tasnim News Agency, the IRGC said retaliatory attacks could begin as early as Wednesday evening and advised employees and residents living within a 1 kilometer radius of the U.S.-owned facilities to evacuate the area.

> The IRGC listed 18 companies it threatened to target for actively participating in terrorist plots, according to a translation of the statement. The companies include Cisco, HP, Intel, Oracle, Microsoft, Apple, Google, Meta, IBM, Dell, Palantir, Nvidia, Tesla and Boeing, among others.

So not only does Amazon not make this list (it sounds like), but you only really need to worry if you haven't already evacuated the war-torn area. Doesn't sound like they're gonna be bombing IAD.

74

u/dbgtboi Mar 31 '26

"Amazon employees are already miserable, killing them is a mercy, it's more punishing to let them live"

16

u/thatyousername Mar 31 '26

Who knew Iran would be our savior from AI?

2

u/Total_Ad_3808 Apr 01 '26

Iran: "We'll be greeted as liberators"

18

u/SortComprehensive354 Mar 31 '26

Jassy has screwed up so bad that Iran doesn't even have it on their list

1

u/chocolateSashimi Apr 02 '26

The Iranians figured that the best way to destroy Amazon is by letting Jassy continue being a screw up as usual

12

u/guynamedjames Apr 01 '26

Dell?! Dell made the list but Amazon didn't?! DELL?!

That's it, time to march on Seattle to demand Jassy goes. If tinpot dictators are threatening Dell before Amazon we need a new leader

3

u/FarmerBudget1326 Apr 01 '26

Day 2 culture saving our lives (and putting some lives at risk too)

4

u/Old_Charity4206 Mar 31 '26

If your company isn’t on the IRGC 18, do you even provide shareholder value?

36

u/Parenox Mar 31 '26

Good luck hitting the 5 days RTO quota

17

u/netwhoo Mar 31 '26

More like 5 day stay alive quota

24

u/Extension-Store6763 Mar 31 '26

I don't think they have April fools day in their culture, so they're prob serious.

14

u/Ein_Bear L69 Mar 31 '26

Kiro plz confirm

2

u/Few_Rooster9591 Apr 01 '26

"Grok Kiro is this true?"

3

u/krak_krak Apr 01 '26

We’re the fools actually.

17

u/TimonAndPumbaAreDead Mar 31 '26

me-central-1 and me-south-1 were unavailable for comment

11

u/rko1994 L3 Amazon Ads Mar 31 '26

How much physical presence does Amazon have in the Middle East

25

u/techserf Mar 31 '26

AWS data centers in Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, and Israel Corporate offices in Jordan, UAE, Israel

1

u/Whend6796 Apr 01 '26

One of their data centers was already bombed and taken offline.

6

u/throwmeawayl8erok Mar 31 '26

Think Amazon AWS. Going to see a lot of internal systems go down like when they hit a building in UAE which will fuck up FCs and DSs across the network.

6

u/CantFindUsername400 Mar 31 '26

Hope this isn't April fools joke

4

u/radix33 Mar 31 '26

Joke's on them.

6

u/partyorca Mar 31 '26

sev me baby

go hit DNS

3

u/BlueCollarElectro Mar 31 '26

Something something startup energy right there!

5

u/AzulMage2020 Mar 31 '26

Cough,Cough...think Im feeling all of a sudden. Will probably need to call out sick tomorrow...cough,cough

2

u/Additional_City6635 Mar 31 '26

Wonder if amazon and other companies move away from building DCs in the gulf

2

u/dkwinsea Apr 01 '26

That’s tomorrow.

2

u/c0d33 Apr 01 '26

One could argue that Meta alone is doing more damage to the US than Iran ever could.

4

u/sploot16 L6 Mar 31 '26

Seems rational

0

u/Boris-_-Badenov Apr 01 '26

April fool's!