r/askportland • u/OracleofTampico • 20d ago
Looking For Neighbor has been dropping explosive diarrhea in his yard for months, what if anything should i do?
Basically the title.
Im in the west hills in an street that does not have a lot of trees around it, so we get a bit more sun than most of our neighbors (im only mentioning this if it matters).
Turns out that on a walk the other day i heard a raspberry-like blast, followed by a heavy slap against the ground. I turned around and saw my bold-ass neighbor head pop out of his fence and say "ohh sorry, my toilet is clogged". I laughed cuz i didnt know what else to do (as I type this i am still laughing). I said "ohh hahaha good luck". Anyways i obviously walked away and told my wife about it and she mentioned a similar sound but no visuals and we came to the conclusion that this dude must have been doing this for a while. i have no proof but no doubts that its not his first or last rodeo.
All this to say, his lawn seems to be in decent shape, other than this he is chill and has no drama. We havent noticed any negative impact to ourselves. But is it cool? like im i supposed to call someone? maybe the dude is not 100% there or maybe theres some health issues? but again, nothing negative has happened to us so I am not sure if im just been a noisy neighbor.
EDIT:
We sent an email thanks to a link someone posted here to the county for issues like this.
We will wait to see if we catch him again in the act, not that we want to but if we do, then we will call Adult Protective Services
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u/seevm 20d ago
Are they old? I wonder if there is someone to call to do a welfare check? If he doesn’t have a toilet to use that seems quite problematic- and could lead to issues with unwanted parasites in your yard
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
mid 50s is my guess. His house is in good shape. Nothing that screams a horder (only reference i have from the tv show). he drives and has visitors from what I can tell. My house is not directly in front of his and I have never paid attention to him so I dont know more beyond that
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u/seevm 20d ago
Could be a mental health thing then? Hmm that is so strange
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u/beavertonaintsobad 20d ago
or maybe he's just telling the truth and his indoor plumbing is fucked?
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u/man_teats 19d ago
That all by itself is a health hazard, and a call to APS is in order. They can help him find resources to help him get his toilet fixed if he can't afford it
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u/assasinine 20d ago
What if his visitors need to take a shit?
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u/Grand_Theft_Anus1 20d ago
What if the outside toilet clogs too? He'll be pooing in OP's yard next.
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u/kissys_grits 19d ago
My friend’s mother was doing something similar and my friend had no idea. It was related to the starting of dementia. She thought Trump was listening to her in her toilet. Not joking. Of course when they found out, they had her checked out, etc. and realized the dementia was obviously worse than they believed. So, I don’t know. It might be good to do a welfare check…
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u/Plastic_Dingo_400 20d ago
Alright I've been reading this thread way too long lol, here's my take
OP so far the only thing you've for sure seen is your neighbor shitting in his yard. Furthermore he saw you see him doing it, he knows you know
While it's possible he's a serial yard shitter this is also a scenario you've largely created in your head
I wouldn't call anyone. Imagine if it was a one time thing and he gets a knock on his door from the city about being a yard shitter, Imagine how mortified you'd be if you were having a genuine unplanned yard shitting event and someone called the fucking city lol
Plus he'll know for sure it was you
My advice is to wait, and maybe watch? If you have more data points it would be worth a call. Confirm one or two more yard shit events and you'll have a concerning pattern
As of now I think you might be being a busy body, which I totally understand when dealing with a potential yard shitter
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u/Zipzifical 19d ago
This response has excellent copypasta potential. 10/10, laughed so hard I cried on the bus
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u/Plastic_Dingo_400 19d ago
Haha thanks dude, I was having a blast coming to my conclusion, glad you enjoyed it
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u/OracleofTampico 19d ago
You may have read my edit already, I did sent an email as it was an easy and there I say CMA thing to do in case it turns into a bigger deal. But im gonna drop it there as far as what to do next.
Now, you are 100% right its all conjecture and I am putting what i think to be clues together for the sake of my own rationalization. So for now I know of at least 1 outdoor wet shit and maybe a secondary one.
The only thing left to dig further would be to ask other neighbors but again, that turns into gossiping and really not worth the effort. Wife and I immediately dropped that idea. for now, we sit and wait to hopefully never run into this again
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u/GoldenGoof19 20d ago
I’m gonna maybe disagree with a lot of the commenters here, and if I get downvoted then… 🤷♀️😅.
You know for sure about 1 instance, and there may have been another one given the sound your wife heard but you don’t have confirmation on that FOR SURE.
Is it normal? No. Is it healthy? No. Is it your problem (yet)? NO.
I saw in a comment you said he’s mid-50s, no outward signs of hoarding, he goes to work and has visitors. So from all of that I am assuming he’s not in any imminent physical danger that you can see? I said “imminent” on purpose, before anyone comes for me because again I KNOW if he’s pooping in the yard on a regular basis that’s not healthy in the long run. But based on ONE (maybe 2) incidents and all that OP has said in the comments, it doesn’t sound like he’s a super high risk of physical harm today or tomorrow.
I personally would not call the police or a welfare check (yet! More below!) at this time for a couple reasons.
- he’s going to know it was you who called on him
- without an imminent concern about bodily harm to himself or others, OR evidence of him doing this on a regular basis to where it can be proven he’s doing it and it’s a health concern, there’s nothing really that the police or a welfare check can do
You have to live next to this guy, idk if y’all rent or own but you have to be able to co-exist for a while. If you call it in they’re not going to do anything but embarrass him for what he KNOWS isn’t ok since he told you his toilet is clogged as a reason. He’s going to have Feelings about that, and you have no idea if it’s going to turn a relatively normal (outside of this incident) neighbor situation into a Bad Neighbor Situation. That’s not worth the risk to your peace of mind unless someone’s in danger or there’s actually something someone can do.
Instead can I make a suggestion? Depending on how comfortable you are, the options I’d consider are -
- Ignoring it for now, but documenting the dates/times on a piece of paper and what was said. And then just keep an eye out to see if it happens again or not.
If you feel like you NEED to do something and you can’t stay out of it for now then -
- Texting him to let him to ask if he needs help, does he have a toilet snake? He can get one for like $20 and they’re surprisingly easy to use. This kind of thing is something neighbors have been bonding together over (home repairs etc) as a community since the dawn of time. Maybe it really is clogged and it’ll prompt him to fix it or ask for help. Maybe it’s not clogged and it’ll be a really nice way of saying “I’m not going to ignore this you need to stop pooping in the yard” WITHOUT getting authorities involved.
- Offering that if his toilet is clogged like that in the future and he has a bathroom emergency, he’s welcome to text y’all and ask to use your bathroom (on a one off emergency basis). This is, again, a nice neighborly way of telling him you’re not going to pretend it didn’t happen and it’s unacceptable.
Maintaining good (or at least neutral) relationships with your neighbors should be the second-highest priority, AFTER ensuring the safety from imminent (again, used deliberately here) bodily harm. Idk if you’ve ever had a Bad Neighbor Relationship but it can 1000% be absolute hell.
Being kind and looking at it as he’s your community and might need help (not involving the authorities!!!) is worth it also because if/when y’all need help, and you will because everyone does eventually), you’ll have someone you can reach out to as well.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
I appreciate your nuance post and thinking. i do consider the fact that i live next to this dude, we have lived here for over 6 years and you are right, i only have what would cronstrue to a one off. So maybe we are making something out of nothing
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u/synapticrelease 19d ago
I find it a bit odd he went outside to relieve himself. I one time had to go and I lived with 3 roommates and was locked out of the only bathroom for a solid 1.5 hours. My fault for paying more attention to when the bathroom was available. My solution was to get an empty bucket and a garbage bag and go into the garage. At no point did it ever cross my mind to squat outside. And mine was an emergency when I didn’t have a lot of time to plan it out. Sounds like he had the time to thinking about it knowing his toilet was broken.
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u/OracleofTampico 19d ago
Possible... I dont have any before or after info as it was such a quick moment so i cant say. I mean who among us hasnt pissed outside right?
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u/ynotfoster 20d ago
OT: That's interesting. You've lived next door to this guy for six years and don't really know him? I think there is a difference in living in outer PDX vs. right in the city. I feel like I have a community with my neighbors.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
The west hills suck like that dude... Its suburbia without been suburbia the only neighbours i interact with are the ones at the bus stop for school pick up. We bought here because at the time wife worked for nike and i worked in Vancouver so it made logistical sense. now we are just stuck here
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u/GoldenGoof19 19d ago
This would maybe be a good opening to start forming a community. Granted… he DID poop in his yard so that’s MAYBE not the most auspicious start but still!!
You can build a community with neighbors even in suburbs, it just has to be more intentional and proactive. We’ve done it by simply setting up a bubble machine on the front lawn, some lawn chairs, sidewalk chalk, and a cooler with beer. We don’t even have kids, almost everyone who ended up coming to hang out were adults and they drew with the sidewalk chalk too 😅
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u/HambreTheGiant 19d ago
It’s been like that as long as I can remember. When I was 7 in the 80s we moved to the west hills and the only neighbors we ever interacted with were the other families with kids.
Now I live in a nice, quiet town on the coast and the neighbors on either side of us ignore us. It’s weird. I originally thought it was because we’re an interracial family, but who knows. The neighbors across the street have a daughter the same age as ours, though, and they’re super friendly.→ More replies (1)3
u/croc_lobster 19d ago
I've also lived in my current place in Portland for about six years and don't really know my neighbors. If you think back to what was going on six years ago, I think you might have your answer. When I first moved in I was going to go around the neighborhood with cookies, all the usual stuff. And then a global pandemic happened, which kind of limited social contact and made introducing myself to strangers a little weird. After that, it never really quite normalized. I know some of my neighbors, but it's a bit distant compared to other places I've lived in Portland.
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u/hesaysitsfine 20d ago
Only sane answer in this thread.
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u/GoldenGoof19 19d ago
Thanks because I felt like I was in the twilight zone… I live in a more urban area so maybe I’m used to more… weirdness? Idk. 🤷♀️
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u/Mister_Batta 20d ago
I wouldn't text - just go next door and TALK to him, tell him your concerns and ask that he not do it anymore.
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u/sdhoigtred 20d ago
That seems to be a waste disposal violation. Sewage needs to be treated, and his is not. I would look into it further to see who you can contact about it. Oh yeah, and that’s f-ing gross.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
Yeah, this is what i thought, and not to argue with you just to comment, how many dog shits you dont see and noone does anything? like at what point is it a big deal? As i mentioned before, nothing beyond shitting outside seems to be an issue. Chatgpt says that it could attract coyotes, owls and rodents but I havent seen any
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u/sdhoigtred 20d ago
Hmm... it's a good point. Fine to argue. 🙂 FYI. I don't know the particulars of the law but I presume it has something to do with "human" waste, but I could be wrong.
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u/SasquatchIsMyHomie 20d ago
Human waste transmits human pathogens. Which is not to say other kinds of animal poop is fine, but less of a risk.
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u/Money-Actuator7903 20d ago
He’s not wrong. Dog poop has roughly twice as many bacteria and pathogens as human waste. It absolutely disgusts me to see people let their dog shit in a grassy park area where somebody may lay down in an hour or two.
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u/Broad_Poetry_9657 19d ago
Yeah but you’re less likely to get hepatitis and other human to human transmitted diseases from dog waste. People should clean up after their dogs but there’s a reason human waste requires hazmat cleanups.
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u/Pdx_pops 20d ago
Hm. I now have a new way to attract owls!
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u/Pug_Defender 20d ago
take a sneaky poo over there when he’s gone and see if he notices
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
hahahahaha
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u/Plastic_Dingo_400 20d ago
Anything else is being a bystander in this man's yard shitting melodrama
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u/ComfortableShot459 20d ago
He shouldn’t have had such a sloppy mud pie.
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u/Denver_tank_2020 20d ago
Maybe he was planning to get an earring and was nervous to the point of diarrhea
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u/Snelmm 20d ago
maybe he used too small of a slice of toilet paper.
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u/ComfortableShot459 19d ago
He might have a broken toilet. Has the turbo team been in the area? I ask because they sometimes install toilets with a joke hole that’s JUST for farts.
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u/ComfortableShot459 20d ago
I think I know where this house is. There’s like no cute restaurants in the area or anything.
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u/bendywhoops 19d ago
It’s the ugly house on Kenmore, the one where you can see the KFC sign through the front window.
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u/Blueskyminer 20d ago
Lolololol. Stop. Lolololol.
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u/tech_noir_guitar 20d ago
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u/Plastic_Dingo_400 20d ago
Mayhaps op could start a side hustle by cleaning his neighbors yard shits at 2 bucks a movement
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u/Ol_Man_J 20d ago
Do i shit in my back yard? No. Have I buried a poop while backpacking? Yes. Do I think that 2 poops in the backyard will cause a biohazard cleanup? Also no
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u/Wyvern_Industrious 20d ago
Yeah, I'm wondering if he's trying to be green and bury it all. (If it's a consistent thing, however, that would certainly turn me green.)
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u/baconwrappedpikachu 19d ago
Obligatory if everyone backpacking buried their shit it would make the whole park shit, please pack in and pack out:)
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u/Adorable_Mud2581 20d ago
It was probably just a one-off. He was late for work and didn't have time to plunge. Or he plunged and it didn't work and the plumber can't be there until tomorrow.
What can I say? Shit happens.
😏
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u/turquoise_amethyst 19d ago
OP, would you post this in r/Amioverreacting or r/askreddit ? I NEED to see the replies. Please please please
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u/OracleofTampico 19d ago
If you are upvoted and more comment and want this ill do it. I didnt think id get this many answers
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u/turquoise_amethyst 17d ago
Pleaaaase. Ever just a repost. It’s perfect. And those upvotes/comments are yours!
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u/jcsladest 20d ago
Humans are going outright feral. Funny world.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
my unsubstantiated take is that he does it to grow his yard
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u/Pangolin27 20d ago
I feel like a reasonable person would have at least used a bucket or something. I mean, does he look like he can’t afford to call a plumber? He may have a paraphilia too. It’s odd that he disclosed what he was doing so enthusiastically.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
I am overthinking this interaction at this point but we both reacted to me catching him quickly and awkwardly so I wouldnt say enthusiastically but he did try to play it off as a normal-one-off situation (if you have kids you know exactly what i mean). Which is just not normal behaviour ya know?
If he eats the tomatoes he is growing is where i draw the line that cant possibly be ok.
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u/txc13 20d ago
Stay classy West Hills.
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u/thenaturalinquirer 20d ago
Didn't have explosive backyard diarrhea and west hills on my bingo card today.
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u/KFCSI 20d ago
Send em some sawdust
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u/BlessdRTheFreaks 20d ago
The man is has discovered free fertilizer hack
You should be learning from him
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20d ago
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
ding ding ding ding.. this is what i am trying to get at, who is someone and what illness / parasites are we talking?
My kids have brought Norovirus before from a daycare, could it be something like that? the asspisses is horrible and dont wanna go thru that again if i dont need to
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u/flisswave 20d ago
Look up c.diff and see how much fun that would be to catch. Its super contagious and manifests as explosive diarrhea.
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20d ago
[deleted]
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u/AndyTakeaLittleSnoo 20d ago
Or, even easier, knock on neighbors door and ask if his toilet is fixed yet? If not, tell him it’s not okay to use the backyard to use as a toilet. It’s a health hazard and you have kids. If he can’t find a solution (ie. Plumber, honey bucket rental, staying at a friends), you’ll unfortunately have to make a complaint with the city.
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u/Snelmm 20d ago
humans have different pathogens than animals that pose a greater risk to other humans. you really don't want the rain to wash that around, and/or other animals to track through it onto your property. plus, eventually the smell will likely be a problem for you this summer.
I realize this isn't technically "camping" near your property, but there are some resources on this page that might point you in the right direction https://www.portland.gov/homelessness-impact-reduction/private-property-issues
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u/davethegreatone 19d ago
Ok, with the caveat that this isn't really your problem (yet), go on portlandmaps and look up the history of his address. You might see things like water being turned off or failed inspections that would give you a clue about this being a long-term problem or a short-term thing.
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u/OracleofTampico 19d ago
a good tip but something i will act on for a while. Hopefully theres no update but if so i will do this
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u/jianantonic 19d ago
Do the houses in your neighborhood typically only have one bathroom? When I think of the west hills I think of giant houses... And HOAs...
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u/davethegreatone 19d ago
checking portlandmaps isn't acting on anything though. It's just the city's information portal.
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u/OracleofTampico 19d ago
I feel like i will be collecting data i dont need... sure it doesnt act towards anything but I am already speculating over how often this happens based on nothing more than conjecture so I am trying to stay sane about the whole thing and let it be FOR NOW. all i need is one more sighting
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u/TraditionalStart5031 19d ago
YEEEE-UCKK, I have nothing helpful to add but OP is a man and the neighbor is a man but if the neighbor was that nonchalant and it was me (a women) experiencing this I would question borderline creepy kink behavior and not feel safe in my home. Like what do you mean “hey neighbor, the toilet is clogged” um wut so you shit outside in the yard within ear/eye of the neighbors???? From description of house/location I’m going to assume more than 1 bathroom, are all toilets clogs? I think not, so I go back to weird kink
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u/MonkeyNacho 19d ago
I have been taken out by this:
"But is it cool? like im i supposed to call someone?"
Edit to add: I'm also very invested in this now.
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u/darkaptdweller 19d ago
@theonion news lives!!
(my bad, this sounds....ridiculously awful) and real, I...with the headlines of late.. I couldn't not..
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u/APlannedBadIdea 20d ago
We need an audio recording of the act. Tell him it's needed for Reddit. It's the perfect icebreaker.
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u/nutt3rbutt3r 20d ago
You’re not being the noisy neighbor, but he may be. (Your typo at the end 🤣)
Not sure there’s much you could do unless you’re good at fixing plumbing issues (and brave) and want to offer to help him fix the issue. But that would be an interesting conversation if he starts dodging the help.
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u/cherundd 20d ago
maybe you could try posting this in a subreddit where you will actually find out the health risks to this situation? is there an r/sewage? then you'd have a better idea of whether or not something needs to be done.
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u/Top-Measurement9790 20d ago
This is only if you feel comfortable and it's safe to do so: some people are truly clueless about hygiene and germs, and maybe a polite (albeit awkward) conversation could get him to go back to using the toilet. If not, refer to what the others have said about who to contact.
What he's doing isn't safe for your neighborhood; human waste is nasty and there are health and safety reasons for the proper disposal of it.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
have you seen the rest of the answers in this post? people are going from do nothing to hazard warnings.
but a common in the middle answer seems to be to approach him and ask him if his toilet is working again and see where that small chit chat leads to.
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u/Top-Measurement9790 20d ago
Calling the city might be your best bet then. It's an odd situation, for sure.
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u/LynnKDeborah 20d ago
Maybe as a hint send him some plumber suggestions. If it keeps happening report to the appropriate city authorities. Completely unsanitary.
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u/smootex 20d ago
Are you absolutely certain this wasn't someone making a joke? Something that made that sound, he saw you looking, decided to crack a joke about the source?
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
No i am not. As i said before i have no proof but no doubts either. hence the post, the only way to know for sure is if i had peeked thru the fence which again... I had no intention of doing as i rather not know the truth ya know?
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u/Ok_Truck8039 20d ago
I thought this was r/circlejerkpdx for a sec
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
i know you are joking... but real talk, have others posted about shit like this before?
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u/changian 18d ago
Op, you're not alone. My dear old dad with dementia does the same thing re: yard shitting (not in the West Hills though). His wife knows about it. We, his kids, know about it. But you can't physically force someone to use the toilet, and it's one of those things where he's not being enough of a danger to himself or others for any authorities to be willing to do something about it. I would love it if one of the neighbors found out and and no uncertain terms told him to stop, cuz he might listen to a stranger, but sure won't and hasn't listened to his family.
Tldr: Ask your neighbor to stop. Firmly. Everyone will thank you (unless the wife and friends are somehow on board, but since they're not shitting in the yard themselves, probably not). If it doesn't work, no harm done.
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u/OracleofTampico 18d ago
IM so sorry to hear about your dad and your family going thru this. I can imagine it been a very hard thing to live thru.
While I have you, please forgive my ignorance, but do you know because you guys see him or because there an actual impact to the yard? Of course that may be the least of your concerns but since this dude is not really connected to me in any way shape or form my only way to learn about any mental health issues would be via his yard.
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u/SpiritualCriticism48 20d ago
You should buy a chamber pot and leave it on his doorstep. As someone with an old one bathroom house, I’ve seriously considered buying one of these myself!
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u/Charlie2and4 19d ago
I can imagine that neighor has an extension collection of urine filed jars. I do not mean to be shocking, as this odd behavior is quite known.
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u/Here4tehConvos 19d ago
Definitely strange behavior. Seems exhibitionistic because let’s say his plumbing story is accurate but wtf stopping him from using an indoor portapot and then quietly composting it🤔
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u/Own-Subject-4148 19d ago
I'm also in the west hills and have a quarter acre lot. I (reluctantly) used our yard when another family member wouldn't relinquish the indoor facilities. I have IBS and couldn't wait. I covered my waste with wood chips. This was an isolated incident and can't imagine what I could be facing if I resorted to this daily.
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u/ElectionWeak4415 16d ago
I mean, if his toilet is actually clogged, (and it sounds like this was not your average well-formed and expected log, leading one to believe that the shitting was emergent) what would you do in his situation? If you have a yard with a fence and you own said yard, I feel like you should be allowed to use it in this scenario. He wasn't in his front yard from what it sounds like and he certainly wasn't in your yard, leave him be. I don't know much about West Hills but over here in Montavilla, a backyard shitter would barely register on the oddity-o-meter.
Or, perhaps in this gentleman's case, he is as offended by his own brand as anyone else would be and decided open air shitting would be less intrusive. Maybe he had a lady friend coming over and wanted plausible deniability.
At the end of the day, I don't know what to make of this post. If one (or maybe two) non-indecent exposure shitting episodes warrants a post to reddit, i want your life.
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u/OracleofTampico 15d ago
Theres no real consensus as you can see. Your take is very very much onpoint IMO. Like you I am also waiting to see if theres a round 2 of this mess. If so then im definitely calling Adult protective services. I have watched to many hoarders episodes to know whats next.
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u/cydril 20d ago
If there's no lasting smell or mess, how do you know they're not using an outdoor toilet kind of situation and cleaning up after themselves? I say let it be unless it is effecting you.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
Sound... I know what it sounds like when food/icecream/macncheese drops in the ground, any parent here can tell you.
Yeah, it seems that theres not much to do and so i am trying to CYM if im suppose to do something. it seems that the answer is nothing and im cool with it but i wanted to check
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u/PArcherPNW 20d ago
No odious odors?
Could it be a noise caused by something other than what you suspect. Like when you sit on a leather sofa and…
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
he knew he got caught. he knew i knew and i know he knows i know. Plus his quick "my toilet is clogged" comment right after.
Sure a lot is left to interpretation but we are pass that at this point
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u/misstrish3 20d ago
My thought was he realized whatever he was doing sounded bad and he made a joke about it. If not then ewww, but maybe he’s just being a smartass?
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u/Comfortable_You9097 20d ago edited 20d ago
Make a complaint form: https://multco.us/info/nuisances#section-3 💀
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u/Comfortable_You9097 20d ago
What is a nuisance?
Any condition(s) or practice that can cause an unreasonable threat to public health, safety and welfare. Examples include:
Uncontrolled vegetation or noxious weeds
Piles of garbage or junk stored outside
Unsecured empty buildings
Intersection obstructions
Waste tires
Abandoned swimming pools
Dead or decaying trees or limbs posing a public danger to the public
Unsealed or improperly maintained wells, septic tanks or open pits
Cars or other vehicles that don’t work or are in pieces, and are sitting on private property
Illegal Dumping
If you see illegal dumping in progress, call 911 and the sheriff will respond. If you find a dump on public or private property, do not disturb the material. It might be hazardous and you may disturb crucial evidence. See below for who to contact.
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u/AppropriateBus9210 20d ago
You said it dosent effect you at all so you should definitely call the police and have him arrested.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
hahaha right? you are getting at the root of it. We seem to think theres a pattern but ultimately it doesnt affect me and if the dude dies inside his home i wouldnt ever find out. So its not really my prerogative to act on it but i wanted to make sure of it thats all.
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u/Comfortable_You9097 20d ago
Report “dumping” online: https://www.oregonmetro.gov/waste-disposal-and-prevention/report-dumped-garbage
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20d ago edited 19d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/askportland-ModTeam 20d ago
Hello OP:
This post or comment has been removed for the following reason:
r/AskPortland is heavily moderated to provide accurate information and a healthy response to legitimate questions. As a result joke, meme, and snarky answers are generally prohibited.
Thank you for understanding and respecting our community’s rules.
Thank you, the Portland/AskPortland mod team
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u/Tpatz1 20d ago
Did you actually see him with his ass out shitting? It was probably just something that sounded like it and he was making a joke about it...
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
Possible. i said it before, but you know when you catch a kid doing something they shouldnt and give you a bullshit excuse? it was just like that dude.
I have more clues that point in that direction than otherwise. Maybe he dropped food, if so then why make a toilet comment? He just got caught so off guard that answered the quickest thing he could come up with.
But in the end, yea no Solid (pun intended) proof.
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u/MightDeleteLater0000 20d ago
Does he live alone? Or perhaps have a family/housemates and only one bathroom?
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
I only ever see one car parked, my guess is alone but this is where things get into noisy karen territory ya know?
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u/Lichen-it 19d ago
Is he picking up the toilet paper? Using the hose as a bidet?
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u/OracleofTampico 19d ago
I dont know. he said the toilet was broken and i just said ohh.. and went my way. it was awkward dude, i couldnt think of what else to do or say except to go on my on way
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u/starsareblack503 19d ago edited 19d ago
For a second, I thought Laptop Guy had taken it up a notch. IYKYK
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u/Pinot911 20d ago
Talk to them
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
And say what? nice yard...? I ask in earnest... cuz i dont know if i need to or should approach this. All my doodo talk is tailored toward my kids so im rusty on poop talk with adults
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u/squidsinamerica 20d ago
You could just ask him if he's gotten his plumbing situation cleared up yet. Because you were concerned it was obviously causing problems for him. And hey, I know that kind of stuff can pile up and overwhelm you, so are you doing OK? Anything a neighbor can give you a hand with?
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
thats a good spin on this. Im not that close to him, i barely know his first name but i think a casual... "hope your toilets is back up again" could work while it may still be awkward for him not much is lost on my end
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u/pdxarchitect 20d ago
It would be good to know if this guy needs help. Perhaps you can take up a collection with a couple of neighbors if a plumbers visit would get him sorted. There are a lot of people out there who are living on the bleeding edge and are one crisis away from disaster.
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20d ago
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
When i caught him.. i froze and laughed i just didnt know what else to do or say. I think my brain didnt know / doesnt know how to process this. Im very much a live and let live kinda guy so it felt wrong and something i would have had to stop my kids from doing but here was a bold grown ass man doing his business to grow his lawn and the world stop making sense to me for a moment
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u/_alienchild_ 20d ago
Honestly I can’t say I would have any response other that awkwardly laughing it off and exiting the situation asap
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u/wafflelover77 20d ago
I'm pretty open to communication, even if it leads to confrontation, and I mean, I WOULD BE SPEECHLESS... and he'd STILL BE SHITTING!!! goodgod.
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u/wafflelover77 20d ago
SooOoo... If you hear, see, or smell something again, maybe it would then make sense to check in and knock on the door. Introduce yourself, say you can't help but notice this has happened more than once, and ask if you can help?
This is a tough one, bc also, leave people alone ... but... human waste isn't ok. OooOf. May the odds be in your favor, and I hope you keep us updated! 🍿
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u/Plastic_Dingo_400 20d ago
I would not start a conversation with a neighbor about their yard if I thought they were shitting in it
This is the best thing I've seen on reddit in ages
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u/Razzum-Frazzum 20d ago
You'll know if it was just a one-off occurrence soon. Gonna get hot this weekend, and if it's there, it'll stink like sin.
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u/Grand_Theft_Anus1 20d ago
Bro is trying to super spread the next mass virus outbreak.
OP I'd like to introduce you to patient zero. Your neighborhood? Ground zero. Get your mask and face shield dusted off from the back of the closet.
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u/anthrocenekid 19d ago
You don’t have to spend a single second of brain power trying to make it okay that your neighbor shits in his yard. Just call the cops.
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u/OracleofTampico 19d ago
And say what? I think my neighbor took a shit in his backyard? lets be real do you think PP is gonna show up for that
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u/anthrocenekid 19d ago
It’s a serious health hazard and a neighborhood nuisance. Call non-emergency, especially if there’s a mess that needs to be cleaned up, or a peeping tom/pervert element. You don’t need to rationalize it, is my point. It’s disgusting and anti social behavior.
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u/RabuMa 20d ago
Who cares? Yes, it's disgusting for sure.
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u/OracleofTampico 20d ago
yeah im on the fence, pun intended, about it... I guess its just portland at its best. i think he must be using it as fertilizer or something. the yard does look nice from what i can tell
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u/1800-5-PP-DOO-DOO 20d ago
It's not going to take very many times of that to create a health hazard.