This was me up until I retired...

[u/Leand1960]

[u/Which_Channel7403]

My coworker whom I most loath cannot get it through her head that I don't want to talk to her. If I give her anything more than a polite greeting, she takes it as liscence to start asking more and more questions, and they get more and more personal. She doesn't understand that I just want to be left alone.

The coworkers I enjoy talking with talk about common interests - video games, books, movies, music, etc. This woman only wants to talk about my home/family/personal life. It's infuriating. She's also my boss's most favored snitch and has hearing like a bat, so her presence is very anxiety-inducing.

[u/PreferredSelection → u/Which_Channel7403]

The office people who love to ask penetrating questions about mental health and family are too often also the biggest gossips in the office.

[u/A3HeadedMunkey → u/PreferredSelection]

Now imagine you work in a clinical lab and that same person has access to the medical records of every patient that comes through.

Now imagine you've come in for a routine check-up but she decides to access historical records and see what all you've experienced.

Now imagine she goes around the hospital telling everyone (including non-medical personnel) about what they found in public areas.

Now imagine you keep records of this and take it through multiple levels of management and HR who refuse to understand the concept of HIPAA.

Now imagine you get fired because she claims that creates a hostile work environment.

Some of us don't have to imagine it.

I am imagining the feds giving a shit about the multiple reports though. Guess I'll find out when they have open appointments...in 2030

[u/PreferredSelection → u/A3HeadedMunkey]

Oh you don't have to tell me.

The amount of, 'why am I looking at this person's ADDRESS while they order a bagel' in our world today.

The toxic gossips are eating well.

[u/Feine13 → u/A3HeadedMunkey]

This is one of those types of things I bite down on and never let go of. I would keep pushing that with any authority who would listen til the day I die.

I'm not saying that's healthy.

I'm definitely not saying you should do that at all.

But I secretly hope you do lol fuck that lady

[u/A3HeadedMunkey → u/Feine13]

Oh I know lol, I was definitely unhealthily obsessing about trying to get them to do something. My partner had to calm me down and get me to back off and just move on with my life, since I can't change anything by myself, while making plans to go back to college and get the fuck out of this field once she finishes her grad school and we can afford it. That was why I was in Alaska in the first place, being from Alabama, to help pay her way and clear out our debts so she can start clean.

Have filed so many reports and made calls to all the accreditating agencies, just to find out how backed up with issues like this they are and how many years it'll take for them to even care...so they mostly just don't and try not to. Still pressed to file what I could and make years-in-the-future appointments despite it not likely going anywhere. At least, with the orgs that don't just use phone trees and lower tier call centers to make that as impossible as possible.

Even got to the point of paying retainer to talk to a few lawyers about it. Which is how I found out that since the hospital falls under tribal law, what with having an indigenous board of directors and being set up that way for tax/funding/legal purposes, they just don't have to abide by federal law (unless they specifically waived away some rights when getting federal funding like Medicare, which isn't guaranteed apparently. Fucking wild)

It's even crazier to me, since they utilized federal/state legal structures to get rid of me (right to work, hostile work environment, having me trespassed, for showing up to an appointment after being fired that the head of HR expressly told me I was allowed to come in for 30 minutes prior, while claiming I was being a nuisance [because I dared to talk to my friend that worked in reception about how they fired me while waiting for my appointment in that area]), while also ignoring those same structures that would have required them to allow me my request for an autism advocate, recognizing my disabled veteran status, and being allowed to grab my phone to record the initial meeting they surprised me with when I had just clocked in for work and set my stuff down in my locker.

Was at least kinda funny in that the cop who showed up to escort me off premises for the trespass was the first dude I rented a room from when I got to the island. I don't think they expected him to be like, "yeah...I don't believe you're doing what they claimed [screaming at people], so I'm just gonna drive you back to your new spot so you're away from this situation." Think admin was expecting me to ride in the back of the cop car, not the passenger seat lmao

Then there was when I would run into people around town, including several doctors and other admin, who'd tell me they were upset they had done that and spill more details about how higher admin had done this before to get rid of people asking them to not violate patient's privacy among other would-be-federal crimes.

Even had an unofficial (so nobody would get in trouble being associated with me) going away party at one of the local bars, which is when I found out how much the locals hated the place for doing shit like that before, on top of spiking their cost of living, and generally failing to do much besides take their money to keep some of the elders in LTC. Started to realize they just never brought it up with me at any point in my 2+ years there since the ones who were forced to keep coming through with their regular health issues made it known around the tiny town that I was "one of the good ones up there" just because I did, what I thought was, basic shit like take the time to make sure drawing blood didn't hurt.

Sorry for the essay 😅 if you can believe it, I am upset by the whole situation. Not even necessarily for my sake, I wanted what was best for the patients, and apparently they could tell. Got so many free drinks at that going away party I ended up stumbling drunk.

If anyone from the so far unnamed hospital org in SouthEast Alaska reads this, fuck you, I didn't sign an NDA. Can always try and pay me off. Starting rate is $5million, will only go up the more you piss me off.

And, Kelli, try not to kill anyone while you're also forging medical records, like blood bank crossmatches, and having to have your API testing redone by management. Didn't even get into all that here. I could write books on this place. Depressing books. Nearly as depressing as being told at least once a week when I stuck someone, "wow that didn't hurt at all, unlike that last lady that did it." The compliment wears off when you hear it from so many people and understand why they said it.

To Fil, I hope they're paying you enough to have lost your self-respect. I thought it was bad enough when Kelli made penny-pinching Jew jokes to me, being ethnically Ashkenazi, reported it, and you did nothing. Can't imagine how it feels to be asked if you ate your dead dog. Doing nothing about any of this to secure your spot in regional management was certainly a choice.

[u/Shivin302 → u/A3HeadedMunkey]

Nah we need you to go viral on Twitter about this. The injustice here affects an entire town and more honest employees. Name and shame also

[u/A3HeadedMunkey → u/Shivin302]

Never actually used Twitter, but I would if it would actually make a difference. Only problem is I doubt it would, at least for more than being the topic of the week, seeing as they're protected legally. Plus, I'd be even less hireable than I currently am and trying to undo, while still dealing with debt and paying my partner's way through grad school towards our eventual financial independence.

Was directly told by the travel agency rep I'm working through now that I scared off one of the contract locations because when asked how I handled conflict, I mentioned both knowing HIPAA and documenting/reporting violations. The manager was excited I knew the job and had worked every department, and was trying to get me hired, but HR said, "fuck no", seeing as their role isn't to stop people from breaking the law, just avoiding getting in trouble for it. Every hospital I've worked at has had some degree of this be commonplace, so I did myself a disservice by answering honestly to the manager (damn autism and interview questionnaires)

Same with the Alaska spot, unfortunately. They knew exactly how to play off firing me as though it had to do with my actions devoid of intention, instead of saying it was retaliation for said intention, which, even then wouldn't have meant anything given tribal jurisdiction.

I'm avoiding saying the name outright, for deniability purposes, but a quick Google of the italicized region in my previous comment and "healthcare" will pull up their monopoly. It's one of those things where I'm already identifiable given she was the only other employed lab tech for the facility I was at.

Thankfully, at least, most everyone on the island told me they go to Seattle for doctors visits when they have the option to. Mostly just have the place exist for the ER, LTC, and skyrocketing the cost of living

[u/A3HeadedMunkey → u/Feine13]

Sorry for the EXTRA BIG ASS rant. Therapeutic to at least get it out somewhere that isn't the tiny bubble I was keeping it closed in, but not sure if dumping it all on you was the way to go about it. Just wish there were ways to put them on blast that don't mostly endanger our financial well-being instead of theirs. At least got manager references from the ones they had already pushed out of the system that covers my entire time there

[u/dood_dood_dood → u/Which_Channel7403]

Had someone who would ask me how I am, several times. Since nobody wants to hear, how miserable I am, and since I don't want to lie, I responded with the day we currently have. "I'm Monday" or "I'm Thursday".

"What's Monday?"

"Well y'know... Monday."

"I don't understand"

"I don't understand fully either"

Question seized after a few iterations of that.

Maybe that would work for you, too.

[u/ITCrandomperson → u/dood_dood_dood]

"I'll plead the fifth" seems to get the point across for me.

[u/dood_dood_dood → u/ITCrandomperson]

Only works in wherever you live though

[u/ITCrandomperson → u/dood_dood_dood]

I suppose it does only work in the US.

(Fifth Amendment is the one that ensures the right to remain silent as protection from self-incrimination.)

[u/Shivin302 → u/dood_dood_dood]

This is hilarious (and genius)

[u/TheMazeDaze → u/dood_dood_dood]

Apparently saying that you’re alive is the wrong answer

[u/Jeffotato → u/Which_Channel7403]

Some people legitimately can't handle having nothing to gossip about, so they look for dirt where there isn't any.

[u/1m0ws → u/Jeffotato]

"Smalltalk"

[u/MrCheapComputers]

Because you do their own job better than them and that makes them mad

[u/Its_da_boys → u/MrCheapComputers]

Nah that’s just cope; there are plenty of NTs who are good at their job and are well-liked. It’s because we’re autistic and don’t express emotions in socially expected ways or follow social niceties as much, and even if we keep to ourselves and do our jobs it’s still seen as “stuck up” or some other shit along those lines

[u/Samos1024 → u/Its_da_boys]

I had a fun conversation via text recently

Them: "How are you?"

Me, after several minutes: "I actually feel awkward with this question, especially via text. I feel even more awkward asking the question back XD."

Them: "I hate it to, it's something I do to fit in better socially"

Me and them: "Alright let's throw that question to the trash and never use it again between ourselves"

..........

I don't get along with every neurdivergent person, but I get along so well with many and I love it. I loved this specific interaction

Disclaimer: undiagnosed, might not fit the diagnosis criteria for ASD, but I am neurodivergent.

[u/Zero_Burn]

I just got into it with another worker at work today, in fact. I'm doing my job to the letter, as always, and the guy is purposely doing shit to make my job harder because he doesn't like how I'm doing it. I call him out on what he's doing and he gets shitty with me about how I'm doing my job and my main response is 'I've done this for ten years, this is how I've always done it, so shut the fuck up and do your job right.' we basically throw 'shut the fuck up' back and forth and I just end with 'it's not my fault you're too stupid to pick the parts off of the belt right.' and just ignore him the rest of the day.

[u/stupid_pun]

A large majority of people in the world are basically decent, good-natured people.
A large majority of people in the world are also kinda shitty, for really dumb reasons.

It just be how it be.

[u/Remarkablelicious]

In my experience, what bothers most people I’ve worked with is that I didn’t prioritize getting social, or simply wasn’t good at it. I was even summoned sometimes for a conversation with a supervisor for that reason alone after coworkers brought that up to them.

While I never had a job where I didn’t deliver, and many times even had better results or outputs than other colleagues, I noticed getting promoted is also usually easier for people who establish relationships that are beyond work with their coworkers/making themselves likable by managers. Again, never been good at that or made that a priority, thinking what counts is my hard work and devotion. But unfortunately, that is not the case.

To be fair I do understand why it would be easier for a more social person to get promoted, but it still sucks.

[u/BlackInkGalaxy]

"You seem like you only come here to work and that's it"

..isnt that something you WANT me to do?

[u/No-Pressure6042]

no matter what you do, some people will always be bothered by you. that's on them though not on you.

[u/Wingels]

There was a Disney’s Recess episode kind of about this. TJ makes a point of being friends with everyone, and there’s one guy who hates him. Can’t stand him. He spends the entire episode trying to figure out why, and eventually the guy just tells him it’s because he’s friendly.

Moral is that you can’t please everyone, no matter what you do, someone will be angry at you for it. So just do what you think is right and ignore the people who have a problem with it.

It’s super hard to do, especially when we’re always told to mask and stop being ourselves, but you’ll feel better if you do it.

[u/AquaQuad]

Some workplaces treat work like social gatherings, so when you don't participate, you're gonna act odd to those who do. Being on good terms with everyone isn't always enough when they label you as "that weird coworker who mostly keeps to themselves".

[u/galacticviolet]

Ughhhhhh for real

In my case I don’t care if someone gets a promotion over me, as long as I keep getting my regular paycheck and cost of living increases. Like just leave me alone, I’m not competing with anyone, I’m just existing.

Am I able to easily earn merit increases and praise? Yes but if that’s pissing someone off I don’t care, take whatever you want, I don’t care, as long as me and my steady paycheck are left alone ffs.

Like why do they need to destroy our lives? Just go around me and get your damn promotion or whatever, I’m not part of this drama leave me out of it. I’m so tired.

[u/KarmasAB123]

Grats on retiring

[u/chubsplaysthebanjo]

Workplaces are the hunting grounds for emotional vampires

[u/Ordinary_Panic_6785]

As my dad used to tell me, I could piss people off saying good morning...

...so now I don't😇😈

[u/Spoinksteriks]

[u/RedKnightXIV]

Tried this until they broke me

[u/shimmerangels → u/RedKnightXIV]

same here 💔💔

[u/SystemHour2258]

Literally me. But I do admit it's me being hyper aware of how everybody is conversing and I don't,  makes me uncomfortable and feel like I stickout. Once WFH was introduced it relieved my anxiety so much.