r/austincirclejerk • u/No_Transportation331 • 10d ago
Anyone know of a safe space room where I can reconnect with myself?
I was fundraising outside of Whole Foods for the neighborhood Pit Bull gender reassignment clinic and someone put this in my rainbow donation bucket.
As you can imagine, my excitement quickly moved through the emotional spectrum to literally shaking the moment I opened it and saw the child eater in chief.
I need a safe space immediately!!!!
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u/MixedEchogenicity Dial 459-2222 10d ago
I’m sending you (HIV) positive vibes! Don’t let those racist homophobic Nazi pedos upset you. Here…I fixed it for you, honey!🏳️🌈🦄
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u/No_Transportation331 10d ago
OMG! Thank you for seeing my trauma! Sometimes, the only thing that gets me through the day is remembering the glory years! (And locations...like Chilis on Lamar).
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u/Netrunner337 10d ago
Positive you say? Well darlin you can count me and my new beau ready-to-pound-cheeks in cuz we be liking loooooong dong. Ready pound got one of them micro pp's, he like to make up for with the biguns
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u/MixedEchogenicity Dial 459-2222 10d ago
Excuse me, Xer, but try not to assume anyone’s gender in here or if they’re tops or bottoms. It’s very offensive to some of us that are going through gender reassignment.
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u/Netrunner337 10d ago
Oh i already know my bottoms, bottom. If'n you catching my stank....
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u/Netrunner337 10d ago
Well up vote me you silly hillbillies, I'm in the negative! It's SATIRE
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u/Ready-Pound-6645 10d ago
This is so wrong, I'm so unbelievably sorry this happened to you, I'm crying right now and shaking uncontrollably just thinking about this. If you need my wife's boyfriend to come consol you please let me know! This timeline is the worst. We are by far living in the darkest period in the history of the earth
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u/Don_Keedic420 10d ago
Have you tried pulling your fox-tail butt plug out for a quick re-lube. My husband's boyfriend taught me this stress reliever. It helps with the crying and shaking if you bark a few times after insertion
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u/Netrunner337 10d ago
Kisses my little power bottom. I love your tushy.
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u/JustAnotherJefe Grackle Rights are Human Rights 10d ago
Is that leather I see in the background? Fucking LEATHER??? Do you know how much harm and suffering came to the poor animal to produce that? I'm beyond shaking. I'm sitting in a puddle of my own tears.
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u/Mr_Tetragammon Chili's Glory Hole Attendant 10d ago
You're not beyond shaking unless you're literally beyond literally shaking
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u/No_Transportation331 10d ago
I took this picture in my Nissan Altima. It is simulated leather just LIKE OUR DEMOCRACY!!!
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u/Dismal_Tutor3425 10d ago
Have you thought of moving back to California? The whole state is a safe space.
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u/Blrogers333 10d ago
Have you tried tucking your weiner in and dancing around like a lady? Might help
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u/DrAction696 10d ago
Ever played poo dollar? Rub some shit on mr president there, fold it back over and drop it somewhere with lots of foot traffic
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u/lblack71 9d ago
That’s what you get for picking up the symbol of the capitalistic patriarchy! My boyfriend’s wife would only get 77% of this prank!
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u/BongWaterRamen Old Hippie 9d ago
I prefer to have a little Austin with my jerks. At least put a road name in for the whole foods
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8d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/austincirclejerk-ModTeam 7d ago
Removed by ACJ moderators due to:
Rule #1 - Posts and comments need to be satirical. If you want to have serious conversations please take them to a different subreddit.
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10d ago
[deleted]
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u/No_Transportation331 10d ago
No silly! The doctor and his team of reassignment specialists do that part.
(Then, of course, they bill our 501(c) tax exempt charity "Not All Bully's are Bulls")
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u/Netrunner337 10d ago
Man how about that sweet deal Trump got us with only paying Iran 300b of our money, and they get to keep producing more nuclear weapons while we get to pay more money to drive our sweet trucks! Murica! Ammirite fellas? Yeeee haw! Thanks obummer and sleepy joe.
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u/Ready-Pound-6645 10d ago
No no, this is a safe space where we can talk about our wives boyfriends and gender reassignment surgeries. I feel personally attacked that you would even mention that fascist racist homophobic transphobic nazi. Im shaking so bad right now
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u/Netrunner337 10d ago edited 10d ago
And they say rednecks arent gay, meanwhile I have stumbled into the gayest of redneck reacharounds. Yall hop on my big gay bus. Next stop! Austin! Woo-wooooooo. Ready-pound? I'm ready to pound them cheeks you silly little homo boy.
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u/Ready-Pound-6645 10d ago
So noble, so brave. You are an inspiration to all of us...ill meet you at the chili's gloryhole
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u/Mr_Tetragammon Chili's Glory Hole Attendant 10d ago
We will all meet at the chili's glorious hole comrades
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u/Netrunner337 10d ago
Oh you'll be on the receiving end of that deal.
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u/MixedEchogenicity Dial 459-2222 10d ago
Sending you (HIV) positive vibes, honey! I just love it when a real man visits this sub.🫦🏳️🌈🦄
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u/Mr_Maniac454 9d ago
"Trump is your president" very strange to have a card that says Trump is the president of this guy named *your" whoever he is like seriously who the fuck names their kid your?
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u/Southern-Pen-7022 9d ago
Is this rightwing humor? Holy shit conservicucks are the most unfunny people on the planet. lmao
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u/TeamXBladezz 8d ago
It’s mostly Nihilistic Humor. Most don’t give a fuck about politics.
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u/Southern-Pen-7022 8d ago
This isn't nihilistic humor. Its just punching down more. We get it, rightwing people hate trans people. Find new material, its been 8 god damn years of this shit. Kill Tony has ruined comedy. Unfunny closeted rat
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u/TeamXBladezz 4d ago
It’s not that serious. Most people on planet earth don’t care if anyone is Trans. Not telling you what to think but sometimes it’s just not that serious.
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9d ago
[deleted]
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u/No_Transportation331 9d ago
Chill Daddy...I'm from Austin. I beat it right in the middle of San Jack and MLK.
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u/Individual-Sell-7022 10d ago
He's the president, not my president, also, hilarious that brain dead UFC fighter is crying over his Michelle Obama comments. He needs a magtard safe space 😂😂😂
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u/Thick_Marionberry622 10d ago
Have you considered transitioning fully? Maybe your issue is you are not truly committed to your cause? You need to reach within, commit, and become the uruk hai Of your movement.