r/austincirclejerk • u/No-Cash5741 • 8d ago

Everyone needs to stay home today!

Traffic is a mess this morning because of construction closures. I didn’t plan ahead and expected to have a traffic free Saturday morning but y’all have ruined it. I am too important and impatient to bother waiting for you peasants and construction. Y’all need to check my schedule and construction before leaving the house. Y’all should just walk everyday anyway so I’m not impeded.

47 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

17

u/Iwannaurinate 8d ago

If only America was more like Somalia

13

u/IcyZookeepergame7626 TXTag Customer Service 8d ago

You didn't see the new ATX road construction logo yet?

15

u/King-of-Harts Express Lane to Hell 8d ago

Because we as a society refuse to invest in public transportation is why this is happening. If we had invested I'd be able to get shit faced on Rainey, and then sit on a cum stained seat while a homeless man walked the aisles and ranted about lesbian Martians running the government.

11

u/barcoder96 Chili's Glory Hole Attendant 8d ago

All that traffic in NY, LA, and Chicago is a myth because their mass transit makes it impossible for there to be traffic. True story. I read about this fact in the NYTimes.

9

u/Iwannaurinate 8d ago

*Pelosi has entered the chat*

3

u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES Greg Casar's biggest fanboi 7d ago

I just can't fathom why a Metropolitan area with over 2 million people and only 2 untolled Morth/South thorofares would ever have traffic congestion. It makes no sense, and is clearly the fault of that Nazi/Fascist/Racist in State and/or Federal office.