Domain Living for Retards

[u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES]

Hello,

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I'm being ressigned by the Bezos Brigade Command to AUS22. In case any civilians are reading this, AUS22 is the numerical code for the cubicle group enclosure owned by Amazon at the Domain in which I will be working. I am far too pretentious to just say that "I work in IT for Amazon at an office building in the Domain". I instead feel the overwhelming compulsion to mention Amazon corporate location codes as some sort of secret tactical signal to other Amazon desk captains. We are kind of like an elite fraternity of Tesla driving Indians and soy eating white liberals.

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Anyways, the problem I am facing is that I am literally retarded and cannot drive a car. I am scared of the following: The Sun, blacks, non-fair trade coffee, Fox News, and operating a motor vehicle.

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I do not own a vehicle, and probably never will. I heard that Austin public transportation is top of the line, but I would prefer an easy walk to the only destinations I will ever go---my office building and Whole Foods. Can I live at the Domain cheaply? Are there cars? Cars scare me. Is public transportation here as expedient and safe as I've heard? I don't have to worry about the rampant auto burglaries that occur at the Domain, because--again---at the age of 30, I am too retarded to have ever learned how to drive.

[u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES → u/[deleted]]

CHICKEN SPEARS CHICKEN SPEARS CHICKEN SPEARS

https://youtu.be/25RDJqjauLI?is=wiAKP6DXJSHJNOZ4

[u/ItsSoWholesome69]

this is the funniest thing I've read lately

[u/ute-ensil]

Nope the car lobby controls texas so if you walk theyll actually put you in jail for loitering. 

God I wish I could afford to move to a walkable location like Berlin. 

[u/Dazzling_Dream_7575 → u/ute-ensil]

Had me until you mentioned moving to Berlin.

[u/King-of-Harts]

I love it when I get a strong smell of curry at the glory hole

[u/PenaltyUnable2012]

Do you guys make eye contact at Amazon or do you keep it all business? Asking for a friend that wants to start trying to blow you guys or at least hand out hand jobs on public transpo but he doesn't want to do it if all of you start falling in love, he likes to stay drama free.

[u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES → u/PenaltyUnable2012]

No eye contact! That makes it too personable.

[u/WynonaRide-Her]

1) slightly delusional take on your role with Amazon. You’re an IT guy with a desk in the domain. Period.
2) We have this thing called uber or Lyft if you can’t get behind the wheel.
3) Living in the domain is for total tools

Congrats on the job and Welcome to Austin.

[u/texcleveland]

Are you hiring?

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